Sticker shock

[clevermanka]

I have pretty medium/average size boobs (albeit an unusual bra size according to most stores/manufacturers which is why bras in my size are always ridiculously priced) and my skin isn't terribly sensitive to pain, so I figured a mammogram wouldn't be a big deal. I was right. It was fine. I wouldn't want to do it every day, and I sincerely doubt I'll bother going back once a year, but really. It was fine.

However.

When the breast tech (I made that term up just now and I love it) handed me my stuff (paperwork, weird cape-thing for modesty), she included two little round stickers and said to put those on my nipples. I have to say I was pretty disappointed that nobody told me I got cute little nipple stickers for this. Mine were zebra-striped (zebra! striped!) and had the teensiest little metal balls in the center. I assume this is to show the location of the nipple on the scan? Whatever. They were adorable and I was tempted to take a photo of my boobs with their teensiest-pasties-ever.

However.

When it was over and I was getting dressed, I was hit with a much more serious disappointment because not only did nobody tell me about the existence of these things, nobody told me how much they hurt to peel off. I'm talking mother fucking ouch peeling those things hurt like duct tape. My nipples were still sore the next day.

WHAT THE FUCK, BREAST-HAVING PEOPLE. Why didn't anyone give me a heads-up about those?

Although maybe those stickers aren't common because the two people I mentioned them to yesterday had never used them. So maybe I was just lucky.

Comments

[drinkingcocoa.livejournal.com]

? No one gave me any pasties!

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Your spirit might be disappointed, but your nipples are grateful.

[renniemom.livejournal.com]

I'm with you--mammograms have never been painful or a big deal. BUT, I've never been given pasties. You should design them with less painful adhesive; it might be your fortune in the making.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

What sort of degree studies qualities of adhesives? Probably something in engineering...

[donutgirl.livejournal.com]

I'm very amused by the title to this post.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

[splix.livejournal.com]

I've never had stickers either. I feel cheated.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Now I'm starting to wonder if this was some weird prank they pull at my local hospital.

[mundungus42.livejournal.com]

*winces in sympathy* I think your breast tech has some Halloween leftovers and a weird sense of humor. Or else the doctor's office picked them up on super sale, because you know someone has to have made less painful mammogram pasties.

Sort of like the person who invented the light-up plastic speculum for gyno exams and pap smears. I hope that person is very wealthy now.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

light-up plastic speculum

GOD YES.

I remember metal speculums, and just....

[saffronhare.livejournal.com]

I have never seen the pasties, either, but I do love it when they have a heating pad on the plates so things are not crazy cold.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Apparently I slipped into an alternate dimension again. God damn it, why can't I fall into the one where I'm a millionaire?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_luaineach/]

Adding to the choir of having never gotten a pastie! But I'm due to go again soon and I've missed the last two years so maybe it's new and I'll get one this time! I'll report back if so.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Please do!

[msmitti.livejournal.com]

I have now had more mammograms than I'd like to have: three in two years. And a follow up sonogram. My first mammogram showed irregularities, and the follow up mammogram was actually a bit painful. It was like they had to squish and twist and do extra things to see what they were trying to see.

No pasties any time though. Given how red the non-painful mammograms left me, I don't mourn the oversight.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Oh HONEY

[write-out.livejournal.com]

No pasties for me either. Glad it was otherwise smooth sailing for you.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I am amused and unsurprised that I'm the only one who got them. OF COURSE

[seascribe.livejournal.com]

ZEBRA STRIPES THO. I would have just left them on til they fell off, I think. Such fancy boobs!

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

In hindsight, I should have. Just let the little bastards fall off in their own time.

[chalcedonygrey.livejournal.com]

As someone who hasn't yet had a mammogram, I thank you for the warning! I will be prepared just in case I get stickers!

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Yeah, wait til you get home and just shower them off! (if you even get them, which at this point I'm 99.9% sure you won't)

[kalimeg.livejournal.com]

Only ones I ever got were to mark places where there were known calcifications that can pretend to be bad spots. Never hurt to pull them off -- but they were never on the nipples.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I've decided the people at LMH are just low-grade sadists.

[fionnabhar.livejournal.com]

I am 55 years old and have had umpty-dozens of mammograms and have never, ever been given duct tape pasties. Ever.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I'm special!

/ralph wiggum voice

[athenaartemis.livejournal.com]

I was not given stickers at my mammogram in June.

I also didn't think the mammogram was that painful. Everyone had talked it up so much as this horrible thing, but it was pretty meh. Slightly uncomfortable, but not any pain. The tech said it was probably because my breast tissue wasn't very dense.

Now, the breast MRI, on the other hand. That was an experience from hell. And no one warned me about how bad that one is. Luckily, most boob-havers don't need the MRIs.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

[1-rhiannon-1.livejournal.com]

I have never had a mammogram so I wasn't aware of the painful-to-remove stickers! I do appreciate the heads up though!

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

So far I've only heard from two other women who've had 'em so you're probably safe.

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

I didn't have pasties for my mammogram.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Count yourself lucky! =D

[pamelonian.livejournal.com]

I have had several mammograms and always had the stickers. It must be something only LMH does. Why? Yes, they can be painful to remove.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

FUCK YOU LMH

[chronovore.livejournal.com]

Your journal-entry title is full of win.

Next time, bring your own pasties.

Or tell the Breast Tech, "OK, but only if you put these stickers on, too."

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I might just do that.

[zitronenhai.livejournal.com]

I am frantically trying to catch up with your journal, and I would have warned you about peeling off those wretched zebra-striped nipple markers if I had thought to post about them, which I evidently did not. V. sorry.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Well at least you know about them. I was beginning to think I'd gotten pranked.