Sunday Six

[clevermanka]

So I guess since I'm, like, a writer now, I can jump on this train.

solo is beta-ing for me again (bless!) and pointed out (probably accurately, because she is correct about everything else so far) that my sex scenes lean heavily on choreography instead of feelings and I should ramp up the emotional response if I want to write hotter porn. Y'all. sigh I am so very terrible at emotions. But at least I'm more comfortable applying them to fictional characters than I am to real life stuff so this shouldn't be tough? (Narrator: It was tough)

Since I am not going to post my current, feeble, as-yet unbeta'd attempts at Blowjob Emotions (solo , I apologize in advance, you might have more fixing to do in the second draft but I'm trying), have some first touches after waaaay too many years of pining.

Their bodies are pressed tight from shoulders to knees and he feels Zhao Yunlan’s hardness and heat against him. A jolt runs the length of his body and this isn’t going to last long. He needs to slow down, he needs to calm down, he needs—Zhao Yunlan’s hand suddenly at his crotch and he gasps, squirming away to escape the slight and overwhelming pressure.

Zhao Yunlan’s mouth slides away from his with the movement, but it doesn’t lessen the intensity of the connection. He seems only half aware that Shen Wei moved at all as he mutters into his hair.

“Want you, need you, I need you so much Shen Wei,” he whispers into his hairline. “Do you have any idea? Do you want me this much?

SIGNS  POINT  TO  YES, ZHAO  YUNLAN.

I leave for the airport in about four hours. Depending on my energy levels (and my mother's) I might be online a lot or very little while I'm in Indianapolis. If I don't respond to comments in a timely manner, trust me it's not you, it's me.

Comments

Unrelated to writing but I didn't want to make a third post today

[clevermanka]

For Guardian people who aren't on Tumblr or who don't follow me there, this might be relevant to your interests.

[seascribble]

Ugh, EMOTIONS.*applauds the porn*

[clevermanka]

[forestofglory]

Eee, good!

Still very impressed with your writerly progress!

[clevermanka]

[naye]

Ahhhhhhhhhh that is a LOVELY bit of intimacy and urgency and mmmm yes Zhao Yunlan signs DO point to yes but also talking to Shen Wei like that is very very hot so I will allow it.

Seriously, I can't wait to read more of this! And of the other one! Good luck with the emotions and everything else! Words are hard but you can do it. <3333

[clevermanka]

[umadoshi]

Well, hello there, delightful snippet!

[clevermanka]

[khellekson]

Niiiiice. I still haven’t started reading the fic, not sure why, because head!canon? And maybe I need to write something quick first, before I find out about fanon?

My fic is emotionally stripped down, where the actions imply the emotions. I just want to say that that is a totally valid mode of storytelling: an inhalation and a pause, and you know someone is fighting for control, and it can be HOT. So listen to your beta because Solo obviously rules, and get the mix of emotion/action/dialogue right, but it’s OK to be mechanical if you’re doing something with that mechanism.

Hah, but you don’t need MY advice; your SO teaches creative writing, for god’s sake.

[clevermanka]

Oh my goodness if you write a fic for Guardian, I will be over the moon!

Thank you for the reassurance! And he does teach CW, but I don't know that he's an authority on writing porn. =D