The First Time Is Different for Everyone

[clevermanka]

Another Guardian fic by yours truly just got uploaded to AO3.

The First Time Is Different for Everyone (6864 words) by clevermanka 
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: 镇魂 | Guardian (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan, Shen Wei/Kunlun
Characters: Shen Wei, Zhao Yunlan
Additional Tags: First Time, Consent Issues, Consensual Sex
Summary: Navigating the complexities and ethics of first-time sex with someone you've had sex with before they've had sex with you.

I started thinking about this fic before I finished watching the show (for the first time).

Time travel stories have been a deal-breaker for me since...ever, really. Despitemckitterick frequently reminding me that Time Is Not A Constant, I experience time in an excruciatingly linear way and I have a difficult time enjoying stories that fuck with it. It just breaks my suspension of disbelief too much. But the relationship complications presented by time travel in Guardian was just fuckin' catnip to me and I couldn't stop thinking about them. How would you, ethically, have an intimate (much less a sexually intimate) relationship with someone when you know so much more about them (about the both of you) than you can reveal? How would you create those situations while maintaining the (very high) moral standards of your characters? 

I never planned to write it (or anything!) but then Binary System happened and I got the courage to try it. I hope I succeeded.

Comments

[starandrea]

I love what you did with these (super important) questions! When I got to the end I thought, wow, that was a big WIN. ♥ Beautiful mirroring, to the point where we can almost see them talking to each other through time. (Their emphasis on verbal consent comes across as genuine care But Also (incidentally or deliberately on their part, or maybe subconsciously) a way of underlining the memory, to make it something the other person will remember at the appropriate time--so they can have the other half of the conversation. It's such a great effect!)

[clevermanka]

Oh my gosh thank you.

we can almost see them talking to each other through time
That's exactly what I was hoping to convey--coded messages through time!

[write_out]

Your second fic already?? You're on a roll!! GO YOU!!!

[clevermanka]

Well I mean it really helps that I'm unemployed. =D

[khellekson]

WAIT, I am reading your remarks out of order, and I can't read this because I am going to write on the same topic! Head!canon may just be canon!

[clevermanka]

There are never too many stories about the same thing, but I understand not wanting to read something if you're writing it at the mo'.