clevermanka (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
clevermanka) wrote2019-09-11 09:29 am
clevermanka) wrote2019-09-11 09:29 am
Call me, maybe
Starting to look at couples counselors in the Kansas City area because the local ones (the ones who bother calling me back at all) are telling me they have no openings until late October at the earliest. Unreal. Like, when people call a couples therapist, they're usually at a crisis point but sure, I can put my entire emotional life on hold for six weeks. No problem.
Am seriously considering getting a psych MA and hanging up my therapist shingle.
Wrote nearly 2k words of angst yesterday. An angsty jerk-off scene (good times!) with a brief interlude of calm and then a tense (I hope it's tense) Wow This Is Really Bad and Heartbreaking bit with SW and ZYL. In story-time, I'm almost to the end of October. Seven more months to go!
It's too bad that 30 Seconds to Mars is tainted by Jared Leto and that their This is War album isn't current anymore because remember how every even marginally-appropriate fandom had a vid for the title track song ten years ago (don't get me wrong, I loved alllllll of them)? Y'all, that song would've made a great ensemble-cast vid for Guardian. So I was listening to the album (because I am an old who Listens to Albums Like That and also a person who, yes, still listens to 30 Seconds to Mars) and realized Whoa Nelly the song Hurricane is such a Shen Wei song it fucking hurts.
The lyrics are appropriate as an observer (The Envoy as a ruthless force, driving his people underground) and internally-directed (asking himself what he's willing to do, and for whom, asking if Ye Zun really wants to kill/torture him, mourning the interrupted life with Kunlun/ZYL). Just, wow, mmmm. Boy do I love angsty emo anthems.
On cm.net this week, two people said I was responsible for starting them reading fanfic and y'all I feel like the best sort of evangelist. Fuck yeah, spreading the gospel of transformative works! I love fanfic so much I actually sponsor the word "fanfic" on the Wordnik website. Oh and also? I commented on someone's gorgeous language in a fic this week and they responded that they especially appreciated hearing that because I'm one of their favorite fic authors. o_O
Yeah, gonna be riding the high of hearing that for, you know, probably the rest of my life. WOW.
Am seriously considering getting a psych MA and hanging up my therapist shingle.
Wrote nearly 2k words of angst yesterday. An angsty jerk-off scene (good times!) with a brief interlude of calm and then a tense (I hope it's tense) Wow This Is Really Bad and Heartbreaking bit with SW and ZYL. In story-time, I'm almost to the end of October. Seven more months to go!
It's too bad that 30 Seconds to Mars is tainted by Jared Leto and that their This is War album isn't current anymore because remember how every even marginally-appropriate fandom had a vid for the title track song ten years ago (don't get me wrong, I loved alllllll of them)? Y'all, that song would've made a great ensemble-cast vid for Guardian. So I was listening to the album (because I am an old who Listens to Albums Like That and also a person who, yes, still listens to 30 Seconds to Mars) and realized Whoa Nelly the song Hurricane is such a Shen Wei song it fucking hurts.
The lyrics are appropriate as an observer (The Envoy as a ruthless force, driving his people underground) and internally-directed (asking himself what he's willing to do, and for whom, asking if Ye Zun really wants to kill/torture him, mourning the interrupted life with Kunlun/ZYL). Just, wow, mmmm. Boy do I love angsty emo anthems.
On cm.net this week, two people said I was responsible for starting them reading fanfic and y'all I feel like the best sort of evangelist. Fuck yeah, spreading the gospel of transformative works! I love fanfic so much I actually sponsor the word "fanfic" on the Wordnik website. Oh and also? I commented on someone's gorgeous language in a fic this week and they responded that they especially appreciated hearing that because I'm one of their favorite fic authors. o_O
Yeah, gonna be riding the high of hearing that for, you know, probably the rest of my life. WOW.
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(oh, Jared Leto. Why, why why.)
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Oh god, Jared Leto is such a God Damned Fucking Mess. I can't even look at him, but I still enjoy the hell out of his band's first few albums.
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Well, that sounds all kinds of frustrating. :( I'm sorry, and I hope you can find someone both helpful and available. *hugs*
An angsty jerk-off scene (good times!)
APPROVAL NOTED. (Ghost story?)
Yeah, gonna be riding the high of hearing that for, you know, probably the rest of my life. WOW.
That is beyond awesome. *^^*
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Thank you for the hugs! This is outrageous! Six weeks! /o\
Sending you love
Re: Sending you love
Re: Sending you love
Re: Sending you love
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I hadn't heard the name Jared Leto in my life (my life is like that) and now I have a) found out who he is and b) why he is, as the website calls it, a 'giant douchebag'. Intriguingly, his wikipedia entry mentions none of this.
I shall enjoy the song anyway, but download it from youtube so he gets no royalties. :Dv
And good on your for sponsoring that word! \o/
Hope you get the therapy you need soon!
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If emo anthems sung by Angsty White Dudes are your thing (they are totally my thing), you might also check out Marianas Trench.
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Wrote nearly 2k words of angst yesterday.
YAY!
An angsty jerk-off scene (good times!)
That does promise to be good times! I can't wait for Ghost Story!
And WHOO for getting people into fanfic, and for doing the whole ficcing thing so very, very well yourself. ♥♥♥
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RIGHT? I'm just...consistently horrified by the state of mental health in the U.S.
I know you don't necessarily feel comfortable taking the credit, but seriously, thank you for writing the fic that made me want to my own spin on things. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm really enjoying it and I never would have thought to even try without constellation of two.
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I feel like I keep repeating myself here, but I am in love with how hard you've fallen down the fic-writing hole and I love love love that you're getting so much from it.
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Except for my fic-writing! I'm in love with it, too. Oh my gosh, it's amazing. Thank you for the sidelines encouragement. I wish you were here in the fandom with me, but I think it (largely unrelenting angst and heartbreak) is maybe not entirely up your street. *tragic sigh*