Wednesday Update

[clevermanka]

I'm out of sorts again. Seems like whenever I feel like "oh, okay, this is evening out, this is cool, this is working," something happens to re-introduce the feelings of dread and insecurity. Good times, good times. At least we finally have a counseling appointment for next Tuesday.

Joined a gym though, and have gone two days this week. Going to try walking between 20 and 30 minutes every other day for a couple weeks, see how that treats me. Thirty minutes on Monday put me in bed for an hour and a half, but I feel okay after 20 minutes today. Baby steps.

I went to the grocery store after walking and there was a woman behind me in the checkout line with great arms. So I told her, "You have great arms." She asked me if I lifted and I said I used to, but managed to come down with an autoimmune disease and today was my second day back in the gym after nearly three years. Then she said, "You look really familiar. Did you go to Hutch High?" Oh my GOD (which is what literally came out of my mouth). Then she said she also recognized me from the live music scene here in town back in the 90s. So that was wild. I kinda wanted to get her last name and maybe her contact info but I don't have the energy for my current friends right now. Maybe if I run into her again later this year...

In light of my "we are all terrible" post yesterday, this tweet cracked me up. WHY ARE WE LIKE THIS. But then I was all OH YES PLEASE when I saw this tweet. And then I was OH FUCK ME (please) when I saw this one. That last one might not be SFW? depending on how strict your workplace is, so just Be Aware--Bai Yu Pants Feels Ahead (especially anyone else with a thing for smoking). Seriously and for real, bless you for posting that,qikiqtarjuaq .

Forced myself to grind out another 1k words yesterday on Ghost Story, despite being out of sorts. Let's see if I can pull that off today, too.

Comments

[naye]

Glad you've got an appointment scheduled, and so sorry about the unhappy feels. *hugs*

You're a champ for getting so many words written despite not feeling great!

(Also. Those Bai Yu pics. Yes. Um. Help.)

[clevermanka]

Thanks. *sigh*

Writing's really the only thing keeping me afloat right now. Seriously, the Guardian fandom has been a fuckin' lifesaver for me this year. First losing my job and then all this relationship upheaval? Ugh. It's so good to have a constant I can retreat to. <3

THOSE BAI YU PICS OH GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

[jo_lasalle]

I'm sorry you're having more out of sorts bleargh. :-| But glad you have an appointment that isn't ages away - I really hope that will be helpful. ❤️

Kudos for plowing on with the writing despite your mood! And as a fan of the soothing power of gyms, I hope the gym accomplishments will help a little too.

[clevermanka]

Thank you, bb. DOGS I HOPE SO TOO.

Yes! I am doing my best to avoid falling into the traps of "pity poor me who can't even entertain the idea of doing things like unweighted squats, much less, like thrusters" or "what are you doing this isn't even really exercise."

CHOP WOOD CARRY WATER.

[starandrea]

But then I was all OH YES PLEASE when I saw this tweet.

AW ♥♥

All the love and better feelings to you!

[clevermanka]

ALL THE FLUFF TODAY FOR SURE.

<3 <3 <3

[write_out]

HUGS HUGS HUGS

SO glad you finally got that appointment.

I already belong to a gym but haven't been in ages (hey, now that's money WELL FUCKING SPENT, I TELL YOU). Maybe I start going now and we compare notes? Trade encouragement?

[clevermanka]

Yes, that would be fantastic! Today is a rest day, but next week I'm walking Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. If I continue to feel okay, I'll bump that up to walking half an hour every day. \o/ Let's do this, bb!

[umadoshi]

I'm so glad you were able to get an appointment in a more reasonable timeframe! I hope the counselor is genuinely helpful and is a good fit for you. *hugs*

And I'm sorry things are so rough. :( It sounds like you're going through a dreadful amount of stress.

Those Bai Yu pics are a small but intense spark of joy in the world.

[clevermanka]

I feel like most Bai Yu pics are a small but intense spark of joy in the world. What a treasure (a treasure that I would bang like a screen door in a hurricane).

Thank you for the kind words. Things are slowly getting better.