clevermanka (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
clevermanka) wrote2021-01-19 11:37 am
clevermanka) wrote2021-01-19 11:37 am
Entry tags:
Tuesday
This (SFW) Luo Fei fanart did things to me.
Another article about how the cosplayers were a distraction (and are still) from the actually dangerous insurrectionists.
I've stopped my donations to AO3, too, but it seems so paltry. What can be done when complaints go unanswered and nobody with the knowledge and ability to enact change even wants to run for the board? It's gotten so I hate uploading my fic there, but... ugh, idk idk idk.
I found someone local to take the freebie dance stuff. She might also know some takers for the things I want to sell, so that's promising. I was trying to find photos of some of the to-sell stuff and y'all. I found some videos of me dancing that I didn't know I had. Problem is both of them, the person filming held the camera in portrait orientation (for most of them--one of them he switched the way he was holding it during the performance *sigh*). If I loaded these up to Dropbox, is there anyone with video editing abilities who could fix them so they're viewable on YouTube without craning your head sideways? I'm not even gonna bother asking for editing suggestions because that's just not gonna happen. Haven't had enough brain for new things going on a couple weeks, now. I don't even have the mental capacity to follow the plot of new shows.
It was wonderful but heartbreaking to watch the videos (even turned sideways) on a day when fatigue was so bad. Turns out I can do either a couple hours in my art studio or my PT, not both. Doing both put me pretty much immobile on the couch for seven hours until I could go to bed without dooming myself to being wide awake at 2am. This morning I managed to sleep until my usual 4:30-ish (hurray for six consecutive hours!) and then again from a bit after 7 to 8:30 but my body is still super heavy and my brain feels like it's taking up too much space in my skull.
Kinda starting to have concerns about my ability to work when this is over? I tell myself that once I don't have the constant psychological pressure of, you know, *waves hand at everything* I'll have more in me. Can't lie, though, I'm a little worried.
Another article about how the cosplayers were a distraction (and are still) from the actually dangerous insurrectionists.
I've stopped my donations to AO3, too, but it seems so paltry. What can be done when complaints go unanswered and nobody with the knowledge and ability to enact change even wants to run for the board? It's gotten so I hate uploading my fic there, but... ugh, idk idk idk.
I found someone local to take the freebie dance stuff. She might also know some takers for the things I want to sell, so that's promising. I was trying to find photos of some of the to-sell stuff and y'all. I found some videos of me dancing that I didn't know I had. Problem is both of them, the person filming held the camera in portrait orientation (for most of them--one of them he switched the way he was holding it during the performance *sigh*). If I loaded these up to Dropbox, is there anyone with video editing abilities who could fix them so they're viewable on YouTube without craning your head sideways? I'm not even gonna bother asking for editing suggestions because that's just not gonna happen. Haven't had enough brain for new things going on a couple weeks, now. I don't even have the mental capacity to follow the plot of new shows.
It was wonderful but heartbreaking to watch the videos (even turned sideways) on a day when fatigue was so bad. Turns out I can do either a couple hours in my art studio or my PT, not both. Doing both put me pretty much immobile on the couch for seven hours until I could go to bed without dooming myself to being wide awake at 2am. This morning I managed to sleep until my usual 4:30-ish (hurray for six consecutive hours!) and then again from a bit after 7 to 8:30 but my body is still super heavy and my brain feels like it's taking up too much space in my skull.
Kinda starting to have concerns about my ability to work when this is over? I tell myself that once I don't have the constant psychological pressure of, you know, *waves hand at everything* I'll have more in me. Can't lie, though, I'm a little worried.
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Does anyone understand why this is the case, or what would need to happen in order to foster (and support!) candidates who do want to make changes and have some relevant knowledge and skills? (Myself, I know basically nothing about the social ecosystem, so it's hard to even make a guess.)
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It's especially insulting when some of the solutions (requiring a Major Archive Warning for racism like they do rape, underage, violence, and major character death; creating a way to ban/block specific users from commenting) are really not that difficult. If fucking Tumblr can figure out how to allow users to block people, it can't be that difficult.
The biggest problem in enacting change is the people best suited to make change are the people currently being traumatized. Perhaps if the abuse team (and the board in general) showed an inclination to improve things (instead of falling back on tired excuses and the promotion of free speech) those marginalized people might be interested in doing the work. But when you've got years of ignored complaints about targeted attacks on your person, why the fuck would you subject yourself to the thankless task of working with those people who've been ignoring you?
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So, I don't know...is there some middle population that could step up to bat? I guess maybe I'm proposing that well-meaning white people who have some experience with anti-racism might be better than white people who don't care, and have more available resources to devote than POC who have been doing the educating and taking the shit all this time. Or, are there things that white people who want to see change can do to support POC leadership and make it not so prohibitively expensive for POC folks to engage in? It's always hard to balance the imperatives of "let the people most affected lead" and "don't make the people most affected do all the work on top of everything else they're already dealing with."
(It's also hard to volunteer for a high-profile job you know you're likely to make mistakes in, which in this kind of job is pretty much guaranteed. Which may be part of the problem in finding volunteers.)
Or, is there any way a group of people who already know and trust each other could agree to run together? Not necessarily running as an official slate, but as a movement, or at least to feel that no one person is jumping into the shark tank alone?
Or, is there some way of working to get good people into the leadership pipeline?
Just spitballing here, and I realize I'm talking about a sensitive subject in a space where I don't know people well, so I hope I am not putting my foot in it.
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It's kind of like "fixing" politics/society at a larger level. I can amplify better-educated voices and make sure the stuff I produce doesn't hurt other people. Beyond that... *shrug*
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And also how I can be more part of the solution than the problem as a writer/podficcer.
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One can at least tend one's own garden while figuring out how to make a difference in the larger world. For example, one of my to-dos is go back and review all my works and give them appropriate tags about the presence/portrayal of policing in the stories.
I do wonder, like you, about "should I even be on AO3 given the current situation, and what would the alternative be?" Don't have a good answer...
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Re AO3, I am so disappointed with the archive.
Hope you feel better soon!
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And thank you, me too!
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Who would you like to see run for Board who could fix things? (Plus don't forget Legal. Legal always must be consulted, before doing Any. Little. Thing.)
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And I'm all for Legal taking a look at things, but how about some actual, you know, looking and acting instead of talking points and platitudes (when we get even that much instead of radio silence).
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videos
If you still need video help, I have PremierePro and know how to use it. Just LMK and I can help.
Re: videos
Re: videos
Let's do DropBox. You can send me an email to share.
Email: desdemyer at gmail (you know the rest :-)
Let's try one at a time. Just to make sure we don't overwhelm the free DropBox limits.
Send me a video. I'll re-orient it and send it back and then on to the next one. Unless, you want them all in one long video? In any case, email me how you'd like to have them done.
Re: videos
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Doing both put me pretty much immobile on the couch for seven hours until I could go to bed without dooming myself to being wide awake at 2am.
Weirdly, I only figured it out this week that I have that problem, too, since my shoulder inflammation last year. But I haven't found a solution yet. Less exercise aggravates my shoulder. More exercise aggravates my shoulder. Both leads to pain that doesn't let me sleep. Ugh.
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