Sunday Snippet, et. al.

[clevermanka]

Today is a Lonely Day.

I haven't dreamed/remembered dreaming in a long time. The last time I remembered a dream well enough to write about it was January 2021 so that's.... yeah, a while. It's too bad because I love my dreams, even when they're creepy or violent or something that other people might find disturbing. I never don't lucid dream (or if I do, I don't recall them--this has been true my whole life), so I can sit back and just enjoy the weirdness. Because I know it's a dream. It's nice.

Last night's dream, though... I was getting ready to travel internationally with some friends while also wrapping up a big conference event thing. I was constantly surrounded by people either needing things from me or providing things for me and it was busy and a little stressful and I was barely keeping everything under control but I was keeping it under control and it felt so incredibly good that I literally cried when I woke up this morning. I've cried once since getting out of bed and now I'm crying again just writing about it.

It's not even 9:30am and I've cried three times today.

I have a Zoom thing this afternoon that will provide some distraction. That's good. I'm so very tired and weary of this life.

Have a snippet from Hellbent.

---

Zhu Hong snorted.

“The free labor isn’t enough?”

Zhao Yunlan’s head shot up.

“Pretty sure what I do in my free time is my own fucking business,” he snapped at her.

Immediate regret forced an embarrassingly auntie-like tsk through his teeth. Zhu Hong’s cheeks flushed and she returned her grim focus to the fender. He breathed in an apologetic hiss through his teeth but Zhu Hong didn’t even look up.

“Um,” he started.

“Two fresh cranberry almond scones waiting for me tomorrow when I get here at 10,” she interrupted.

“Yep.”

Comments

[moodsong]

*tea*

[clevermanka]

Thanks.

[msmitti]

I'm sorry it is a lonely day for you. Has the rain stopped?

Maybe the dream means that your waking life, as stressful as it is now where you feel like you are barely keeping everything under control is actually under control. A reminder that all the stuff flying at you hasn't defeated you? Just a thought, not intended to be dismissive of your circumstances.

I'm jealous of the lucid dreaming. My dreams never feel like something I can sit back and watch and sometimes they are very upsetting. Immensely upsetting. I've had terrible dreams about both of my parents since they died. And sometime in high school I dreamed that I fell into my deceased grandmother's grave, with her in it (covered by silk cloth so I didn't have to see her, but still).

[clevermanka]

It rained at some point bc the ground is all wet and things are very humid but it's not currently raining.

I think the dream was more about the life I want (and miss). The give-and-take of existing with other people, knowing that not everything is under my control, but having a handle on the parts that are. While I was dreaming, it all felt so familiar and comfortable, if busy. It was nice.

Sorry you have disturbing dreams and no ability to deal with the stuff that comes up in them as they're happening. That doesn't sound like a good time.

[msmitti]

That sounds like a pretty accurate take. I'm sorry that the absence familiar and comfortable has left you sad. Sending a hug.

[umadoshi]

Lucid dreaming always sounds so neat. If I've ever done it, I don't remember.

*hugs tight*

Immediate regret forced an embarrassingly auntie-like tsk through his teeth.

That is a GREAT line. *^^*

[clevermanka]

I wish I could give people suggestions on how to do it! Even as a kid I couldn't not lucid dream. *emoji shrug*

And thank you! As you know, I love writing that friendship a lot.

[write_out]

I have lucid dreams as well. Sometimes they're good, sometimes not so much.

It's painful to wake up from one crying, it really is. Damn, I hate that you did.

HUGS HUGS HUGS

[clevermanka]

Thank you, bb. *lucid dream team fistbump*

And yeah, I just... I wanna go places and see people and do things! That should not be a big ask, and yet.

[salamandras]

That's really rough. I hope you can soon feel that way outside of your dreams again, too, and that you get to continue remembering your dreams.

[clevermanka]

Thank you. Me, too, on both counts.

[yaaurens]

hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs

[clevermanka]

🫂

[nnozomi]

I'm sorry it's a hard day. (Maybe the dream can be channeled into writing something using that context? I've been able to do that once or twice.)
Also, "Um," he started. made me laugh.

[clevermanka]

I think I want to live that dream too much to enjoy writing it tbh. It's *cough* rather similar to the problem I have writing sex scenes these days. 😩

Poor Zhao Yunlan is dealing with Big Emotions and not always gracefully. Luckily, his friends love him anyway.

[wrote_and_writ]

*long-distance hugs*

[clevermanka]

🫂

[islenskr]

Virtual hugs for you, my friend.

[clevermanka]

Thanks, bb.