Malaise? Or ennui?

[clevermanka]

ma·laise
1. a condition of general bodily weakness or discomfort, often marking the onset of a disease.
2. a vague or unfocused feeling of mental uneasiness, lethargy, or discomfort.

en·nui
a feeling of utter weariness and discontent resulting from satiety or lack of interest; boredom.

Whichever I've got isn't due to boredom, certainly, so I guess I have malaise.

I wanted to sign up for a ballroom dance class. cba1282zyx even volunteered to take classes with me. But Parks & Rec only offers partner dance classes on Sunday and Monday evenings--neither of which are an option for me.

I planned to make brownies this weekend for stuology but couldn't find my damn recipe. I hope to find it (or at least one similar) online today. Well at least that was an easy one to solve.

I hoped to get my sewing room in order, but for a large portion of Saturday, I couldn't muster the energy to get my arms to work properly. I'm not kidding. They wouldn't work right. I couldn't lift things or grasp objects reliably. It was awful.

I went downtown Saturday, hoping to buy a couple chocolate caramel apples (with my buy one get one free punchcard at Riverfront Chocolates). They were out, but promised more Sunday morning. I went on Sunday and they didn't have any then, either.

I went to the Hip-Hop dance competiton at the Union and was pretty disappointed. One group was excellent, but when I went over to talk to them I got a chilly reception. When I asked about contact information, if they ever taught workshops or did multi-cultural dance collaborative projects, etc. I was met with "Who the fuck is this white woman" vibes. Even their manager gave me a bit of a cold shoulder and said everything but thanks we're not interested. When I said I'd been bellydancing for fifteen years she just kind of blinked at me. Oh, and there were no free-style competitors until the MC begged for a couple and the girl who should have won got robbed by some lame skinny guy who brought louder friends.

I skipped Sweat Your Prayers (which might have actually helped) but you know how it is once you get into a funk. It's hard to do things that you know will help. It's just too comfortable at the bottom of the nice little hole you dug for yourself and dammit if you're going to grab that rope dangling in front of you.

I avoided a housewarming because my current mental state wouldn't bring anything worthwhile to the party.

I will miss yoga tonight because my ride is out of town and the other Lawrence girl that occasionally attends is not returning my phone calls--even to tell me no, she's not going.

Malaise. Internal and external factors leading up to a whole pile of Yuck.

No "just cheer-ups!" please. This'll pass. It's just rotten at the moment.

Comments

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

They seem to have missed the whole multi-cultural roots of the movement.

What puzzled and (I admit) hurt me about their reaction was I didn't expect it at all. The breakdance competitions I used to attend at the Pool Room were a good mix of white, asian, black, and latino. I'd say over half the teams were racially mixed--yeah, a lot of them were from out of state, but many of the participants were local. So this took me completely by surprise.

[solan-t.livejournal.com]

The bottom of a hole really is quite comfy and the rope takes, like, work and shit.


View's kinda boring, though....

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I've been trying to eat my way out, and that's kind of having the opposite effect.

[solan-t.livejournal.com]

Oh, ow. Yeah, I can see that.


Those cookies were damn tasty, though....

Are you tired, also?

[bodandra.livejournal.com]

"but for a large portion of Saturday, I couldn't muster the energy to get my arms to work properly. I'm not kidding. They wouldn't work right. I couldn't lift things or grasp objects reliably. It was awful."
I'll bet it _was_ awful, scary as well.

Re: Are you tired, also?

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I'm tired, yes, but that's largely due to not sleeping well.

Weakness = teh suxxor.

Re: Are you tired, also?

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Oh, and not particularly scary, really. It was just my standard clumsy self, magnified about ten times.

[fireguarder.livejournal.com]

About that lunch we were going to have............?

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Ooooh! Yes! When? Did we set a date and I didn't put it in my calendar? I hope not...

[tmseay.livejournal.com]

I would have done ballroom dancing with you, too, but with you out of the picture, I just can't see myself dancing with Mike...

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

If Parks & Rec offers better class days during the summer after Mike leaves, I'll let you know!

[fireguarder.livejournal.com]

No date, just a general "we must do this"....

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

*whew*

Glad to hear that. I've already got plans for tomorrow, but email me with your schedule for the rest of the week.