Oh, that's right--I do have a job

[clevermanka]

Our first application deadline is December 31. The rest of this month I'll be spending most of my time doing what I'm supposed to be doing here. You know, that thing they pay me for.

But before I go do my job:

The department party was last night. The company was great, but oh man the caterer? Amazingly bad. There were no good vegetarian options--just a bland vegetable tray (the fruit tray had sliced oranges with the rind still on, and canned pineapple), the presentation was awful (little globs of tuna salad on what were obviously Keebler crackers, then sprinkled with paprika to make them festive--or something), and they put out cheap store bought cookies in the little plastic trays they came in. Oh, oh! And next to the cheap store cookies? Mounds of naked maraschino cherries. Yes. Seriously.

Oh My God.

This morning, someone told me she saw the caterer making herself and her young son (for whom they apparently could not find a sitter?) a plate of food. What? Um, not that anybody's eating it, lady, but we didn't pay for you to cater this event so you could eat your own food.

It was just so bad.

It was made worse by the fact that in the past we've had absolutely amazing caterers, and the department faculty and staff descend on the food tables like freakin' locusts. Nobody was paying much attention to the food last night, except for kind of picking at it. Or in my case, looking on in horror--and people, I am not a picky eater.

Today there is gob-ton of leftovers sitting in the mailroom for people to nosh on. The stuff's been sitting out there for an hour and nothing has been touched. It's so sad that the department spent a lot of money on this caterer on the advice of a faculty member. We paid $800 for the food, and we got...this.

Some of the food, you guys--I don't even know what it is. I cannot identify the contents or the end result. We're not even sure if this one item is a cheese log or an unbaked bread...thing. And nobody really cares enough to cut into it to find out. Update: Somebody sliced into it and it's a cheese log. A tan colored cheese log.

Today I got ten new applications. I wonder if any of them are caterers.

Comments

[stuology.livejournal.com]

Eeks! At the beginning of the read, I thought it was budget crunch issue, but $800 for opening packages and spooning one thing onto another?

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Yeah, and it's pretty obvious that because of the budget issues, this will be our last catered event for a while. It's a pity that our catering experiences had to end on such a sour note.

[geekmom.livejournal.com]

That totally sucks. $800 for tuna crackers and store bought cookies? (and I'm sure, store bought brown cheese logs)

[cmt2779.livejournal.com]

I'm a little terrified by the prospect of an indeterminate cheese log/unbaked bread thing. I mean, ew.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

See my update I just made. It's a cheese log. Tan. Cheese log. Augh!

[cmt2779.livejournal.com]

Well, that's still icky, but it's much less terrifying since it's been identified.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Knowledge is half the battle.

[stuology.livejournal.com]

The other half is to force the faculty member who recommended this caterer to eat the cheese log.

[saffronhare.livejournal.com]

Wow. I'm pretty sure any one of us could have done better, for much less. Yikes.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Oh, totally. And the extra heartbreak is we were supposed to have this event catered by a local sushi place, but too many people complained that they didn't like Japanese food. Well, I hope those dumbfucks are happy now.

[geekmom.livejournal.com]

Aw, damn! Sushi would have been teh awesome.

[cskippy2000.livejournal.com]

My favorite thing to say when feeling the kind of disappointment that you must have felt:

Nothing ruins a good time like a basis of comparison.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

HA! That's excellent.

[cskippy2000.livejournal.com]

I don't know if it's too much to ask, but I've got an xmas party to go to, and I wondered if you could give me the recipe for "Tan Cheese Log." Could you track that down for me? I'd really like to take it to the party. Then, I'll just watch what people do.

Also, out of curiosity, what is a food that you enjoy that you wouldn't admit to under most circumstances?

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Tan Cheese Log
1 can of Cheez-Whiz
1 drop Brown Food Coloring
1 Package Crushed Pecans, rancid

Combine Cheez-Whiz and and food coloring in bowl. Leave outside overnight to dry out. Shape into turd-form and roll in pecans. Serve to hapless academics.

what is a food that you enjoy that you wouldn't admit to under most circumstances

I have no shame when it comes to eating foods that most people might snub. Ro-tel dip made with Velveeta probably tops the list. Goddamn that stuff is tasty. I always mix it with browned ground beef (or venison burger). Mmmm-Mmmm! I also like chicken gizzards, especially the ones from the rotisserie chickens from the grocery store.

In a past life, I would occasionally binge on Dolly Madison Powdered Sugar Gem Donuts, but the wheat allergy nixed that.

[cskippy2000.livejournal.com]

I actually did laugh out loud, so, LOL.

My past life (pre-dia-fucking-betes) snack habits were as varied and disgusting as you can probably imagine. I have to invent all new ones now, but while ditto-ing the gizzards and rotel with meat, I would eats me tons and tons of bull nuts, sliced thin and breaded and fried.

Goddamn delicious.

[indigodreamer.livejournal.com]

This made me laugh out loud for at least a full minute. :)

It really was bad. I had high expectations, especially after the buildup. And having the promise of sushi revoked made the whole thing that much worse.

If this is what catering has come to, I absolutely vote for a potluck.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

We're going out for sushi dinner for NYE as a condolence gift to ourselves. I've already made reservations. Mmmmm!

[indigodreamer.livejournal.com]

Mmm -- nice!

[nottygypsy.livejournal.com]

What about brownswiger? SP?

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Aw YEAH!!! Braunschweiger....mmmmmm. Braunschweiger.

[grnvixen.livejournal.com]

There is a definite trend here. We had our holiday party on friday, at a local country club, and the food was not something to write home about. It had been very good in past years but not this year, quite a few comments on the change.

We did manage to find a local caterer (for other events) who has managed to keep prices reasonable. He mixes pre-packaged with his own receipies and they are pretty good. Don't know if he comes to your neck of the woods but if you get desperate, drop me a line.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I think it'll be a while before we're ready to hire a caterer again, but thanks for the tip.

[adammaker.livejournal.com]

The description of the 'feast' makes it easy to fast today.
*shudder*
-
I could have done better for much cheaper.
MUCH.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I could have done better for much cheaper.
MUCH.

No doubt. I'll keep that in mind for next year, if we have the money.

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

THAT is the worst holiday catering story I've heard. WTF, marachino cherries? Poor you!

Our temp claims to be a fabulous caterer, and she even has a plethora of those cute snack platters that she presents it all on. Her specialty is Cajun, which makes that easy to get stuff in for the veggie-noshers too.
If I get a chance to try her out, I'd definitely let you know.
.. and *sob* my friend Megan would have given her eye teeth for a chance to make that kind of money before the holidays. She did our reception at the Lyon and our office party.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Megan would've done an awesome job.

Alas.

[pointoforigin.livejournal.com]

Perhaps she had been looking at these (http://www.candyboots.com/wwcards.html). Oh, the horror!

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I love that website!

[chronovore.livejournal.com]

I was right there, ready to defend the caterer bringing her kid and feeding her off the buffet, until you mentioned US$800 being spent on it. WTF?

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Yeah. It was bad. And really, you wanna feed your kid off the food? Have the decency to be subtle about it and make up the plate before you set it out for the guests. I mean, she did it right there in front of god and everybody.

[thefox-rb.livejournal.com]

*urp*