clevermanka | I think I've turned a corner

Damn, Friday night was some fun.

Saturday was delightfully hang-over free, thanks largely to

royal_spice's reminder to down some Emergen-C before bed. Thanks, hon!

After running some Saturday morning errands, I headed home to get

mckitterick so we could pick up the stuff he needed to hang the mirror in the sewing room.

madmatmax came over, intending to help

mckitterick work on the Newport, and got roped into helping hang the mirror. It didn't take too awfully long, and now the mirror is up! It's up! Woo hoo! It's been six years since I had that thing hung on a wall. I'd forgotten just how fucking awesome it is.

Once the mirror was hung, I looked at myself for a little while. So why don't I feel like doing anything? I pulled out my visual journal and re-read all the spring goals and promises and hopes I'd written in

bestill's class in March. Why haven't I done anything? My Fitness Goals page has a big old fail for the past four weeks. I haven't done half of what I thought/hoped I'd do by this time--activity-wise, body composition-wise, anything-wise. I started writing in the journal, asking myself why why why? Why am I having such a hard time motivating myself? Why am I being so damn lazy? I didn't come to any conclusions.

So I put away the journal and cleaned the house.

After our dinner company left, I tried talking about it with

mckitterick, but we didn't get anywhere. I think I didn't convey the fact that I simply don't care about my fitness or health levels, and how that is just plain weird. So very weird. I don't get it. This is not me!

On Sunday, I spent a lot of time rearranging the sewing room for optimal use of the mirror--which meant finding a different way to store things like the drying rack, ironing board, and scrap fabric bin. Then we went out to dinner with

madmatmax to thank him for his help with the mirror and the car. And afterward, we came home and ate some ice cream.

Bang Head. Seriously, what the fuck?

This morning, I got up at Exercise o'clock and made myself move in front of the mirror. This consisted mostly of jump rope and working on my squat. Problem: Fetish was going back to the vet this morning, and had to have an empty system. So that meant no breakfast. And that meant constant mewing and interruptions and me trying not to whack her on the head with the jump rope. Or sit on her at the bottom of a squat.

And you know what? I was annoyed. Annoyed at the interruption of something I was finally doing. Instead of being pleased to resign myself to paying attention to the cat (which is probably how I would've felt last week), it kind of pissed me off. I started looking forward to tomorrow morning when I can feed her so she'll leave me the fuck alone for my exercise time.

I have no idea if it helped me to write down my problems, or talk about them, if it was just a matter of time, or sunspots, or a combination of any/all. But I think I'm (finally/again) coming around to a mindset of desire for healthfulness. There are gonna be days where I feel lazy again, but I hope the general trend is towards motivated movement.

Primal Eating starts today. I made the commitment to start today and I'm sticking with it. I'm a little low on fresh vegetables, but I'll make do with what I've got. Next week, I must get to the Farmer's Market before 9:00. Everything but the mixed greens were all gone when I arrived. Also, in an effort to eat healthier and more mindfully, I'm going to walk home for lunches. No more eating at my desk for a while. I'll keep doing that until the weather gets too hot to make the trek up the hill twice a day.

The wonderfully appropriate Hello Kitty shit-or-get-off-the-pot icon is courtesy of

miischelle.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

My major issue with working out is that I desperately need a work out buddy. I know this about myself, I'm fine with that but finding someone near you, at least for me, is difficult.

None the less I have also found my motivation and am walking in the afternoons after work along with making earnest attempts at eating healthier.

Go you!

Yay, and congratulations to you, too!

Isn't it nice to know that eating healthfully doesn't mean drinking half your weight in water every day? Ha!

Thank you and to you too. I wish I knew where the motivation comes from so I could always tap it.

LOL GOOD GOD yes it is good to know.

I like that you're trying to figure out why you're unmotivated to do stuff.

And I can't wait to see your mirror!

If I don't figure out the why of this (this really is so very unlike me), I run the risk of falling back into the Pit of Slob. It's a scary place to be. I don't recognize me. I'm grateful that I have a handhold on the edge of the hole at the moment, but I still need to figure out why I fell down it in the first place.

The mirror is made of fucking awesome. =D

Exercising in front of a mirror does not appeal to me. Hehehe.

But I'm glad it helped you!

I just mowed my lawn. If I do sit-ups and squats does that count as today's work out? I THINK SO.

I just mowed my lawn. If I do sit-ups and squats does that count as today's work out?

Yes. And most of tomorrow's, too, IMO.

The mirror helped with the jump rope because I could see it coming towards my feet. I didn't have to rely on just sensing if it was time to jump. =D

BTW, I learned a new ab exercise in

miischelle's class. When you and

nataliesee are available for hang-out time, I'll show it to you. It's pretty awesome.

Ahh, that makes sense. I should get a jump rope! I used to love it. Ahhhh double-dutch!

We are... never available again. Why didn't we think about this and PLAN something?!?! Argh. We leave on Thurs, and

nataliesee is mucho stressed bc of work things.

I figured you were out of the picture until you got back, so no sweat. See you after you get home!

Edit: Also, I remember how to turn double-dutch, so if you guys wanna track down a couple of really long jump-ropes, I would not be opposed to doing that in your driveway a few times this summer. I'm trying to find fun alternatives to "exercise."

Edited 2010-04-12 17:57 (UTC)

I so wish I was there to participate in this. Oh yes indeedy.

If we ever get around to doing it, maybe we'll make a video and you can share it with us vicariously.

I'm glad the Emergen-C worked!

I empathize with your concerns about not caring, and fears of returning to the Pit of Slob--I LOL'd at that phrase because I totally understand where it's coming from.

I had a bit of a backslide myself--it took 27 pounds before I finally said, enough is enough, and I DO care. 27 pounds gained back, of 130 lost. Ridiculous, and somewhere I said I'd NEVER go. (Well, truly, I said I'd NEVER go back over 200 lbs, and for the love of gods, I am damn sure I will not, as I'm not even close now.) BUT--why? I don't know why. I just know I'm damned happy I have the forward momentum again, and grateful that

adammaker is full of help and inspiration rather than a distraction and temptation in this crucial area.

Keep the faith!! ;)

I'm glad to see someone else understands the mindset. I'm sorry why you understand it because that's a bummer.

Yay for

adammaker, indeed! Lucky girl!

I wonder if you are like me--when life is sort of hum-drum, and there is no next-big-thing coming up, I tend to get into a rut. Particularly, when my romantic life is stable, my career is going well and steady, and there is no motivator like an upcoming trip or visit with people who haven't seen me for years...well, it's easier to live with the status quo. But the status quo slowly gets fatter while eating bread. This is a fact of (my) life. So, perhaps I need something to shake things up--a goal, an event. I know you've used Faire that way in previous years...maybe something new?

Hmm. You know, you might be onto something there. I'll ponder it.

I think I've turned a corner

Go You!

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Re: Go You!

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