Splort

[clevermanka]

Today's xkcd was exactly what I needed to see this morning.

So was Deb Rowden's latest post on her quilting blog, Sunbonnet Sue: Death Becomes Her.

But then this post on ontd_political brought me back to reality because it re-emphasized the points I was making to mckitterick last night about the frustrations of dealing with My Super Speshul Health Problems.

Fact: The majority of people with Hashimoto's Disease are women. Fact: Most women who have the disease are between 45 and 65 years old--or at least that is when they are diagnosed. So this disease is doubly invisible. I've already got one strike against me because I'm female (and thus, aberrant to the medical community). Then I get a second strike because I am Of A Certain Age (and thus, unimportant by modern social standards). It's discouraging. In my younger days, I would have said it's maddening, but frankly I don't have the energy for maddening anymore.

I did muster the energy to complete three tasks yesterday, and I feel some sort of satisfaction from that. I made another appointment to see my PCP about his proposed means of dealing with the H. Pylori business and review the rest of my labs. I called the Lawrence endocrinologist's office (but was told that she subscribes to the standard Hypothyroid treatment for Hashimoto's patients, so eff that). And I wrote a letter telling Dr. Pickel I would not be pursuing treatment from his office. There were a number of factors influencing that last one, but the most important thing was I felt he isn't sensitive to the needs of out-of-town patients with limited budgets and travel means. My closing statement: "However, the repeated instances (of disregard for my time and finance limitations) undermined the level of confidence I have in being treated at your office right now without adding to my existing stress and concern about the time and money investment. I believe that you have the capability to solve many health issues, but at this time, I don’t feel I can fully commit myself to your care."

*brisk brushing of hands*

So that's that.

Lately, I've had the interesting (and uncomfortable) sensation of not being completely present in my self. It's like the Real Me is slightly outside of myself, and forcing what's left on the inside to go through the motions of daily life: reporting to work, cooking, cleaning, social interactions. Sometimes Real Me checks out for a little while (exhausted from driving, no doubt) and I find myself just sitting blankly on the couch. This happened last night after I got home from work. I was supposed to run to Walgreen's to get some Real Actual Sudafed for mckitterick, but I thought I'd wait for traffic to die down before heading out. I plopped down on the couch and the next thing I knew it was six o'clock. I didn't fall asleep, I just...checked out. Very creepy. I'm definitely at my best in social situations because I've got that extrovert drive and I enjoy talking with people and getting energy from those interactions. But once I'm alone (or alone with poor mckitterick, bless his heart), I have a hard time staying engaged.

Thank goodness I have access to email and LJ during the workday. That aspect of socializing helps immensely with staying alert and (ironically) on-task. LJ has been up and down this morning, though. I hope it doesn't completely crap out today.

Comments

[mikalay.livejournal.com]

We should go camping.

And when I say camping, I mean leave town for awhile, stay in a tree house, drink lots of wine and tell the rest of the world to FUCK OFF.

Meanwhile (word of the day?) offers still good for Manda's email addy. I'm sure she'd be happy to chat with you about Hashimotos.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Your icon. I love it. We should totally have a weekend away to discuss how deeply and importantly talented we are. I demand a tree house with running water, though.

Manda's email. Yes. Please.

[mikalay.livejournal.com]

Also, "pesky estrogen"?

WTF!

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Male privilege. Let me show you it.

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

Like this? (http://www.treehousecottages.com/)

[saffronhare.livejournal.com]

LUST. Loving those treehouses.

[mckitterick.livejournal.com]

Jesus effing-eff. Some 90% of lab rats are male?

Ah, pesky estrogen. Gets in the way of learning useful things about diseases we care about.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Gets in the way of learning useful things about diseases we care about.

Just think how it interferes with the diseases about which we don't!

[fairgoldberry.livejournal.com]

Males of any species are more disposable for reproductive purposes.

1 female + x males = 1 litter
x females + 1 male = x litters

If you run a large-scale breeding operation, that sells lab mice and rats to research facilities, you need to keep and house fewer males than females. Breeding stock wears out after so many uses; Jimbob the horny mouseboy can be fathering litters at two or three years when his sister Jane the exhausted mousegirl is a year gone to the big wheel in the sky. Since biodiversity in lab rats and mice has long since been thrown out the window, you don't bother to retain breeding stock equally out of inventory. 95% of your males are just worthless mouths to feed once they've attained a sellable maturity.

And at a research facility that breeds its own stock, you're still going to see more males available than females for much the same reason. Males can mature sexually and father the next generation, then be available for testing weeks before the female in question, even if breeding females didn't have a higher mortality rate.

So then, you order up a mess of mice and you get this population of 75% male research subjects, and you're looking for a consistent population to give you statistically meaningful results. So, you toss out all the 'anomalous' subjects, some of which are genuinely sick or un-usably mutated. However, females in estrus or who have given birth recently are also likely to show up as 'anomalous' subjects because they'll react differently. So when you cull the fifteen statistically weird rodents out of your population of 300, eleven of them are female. You replace the fifteen with a 'random' assortment, and get twelve males and three females. Now you're at 78%, and your remaining 66 females look even more anomalous.

It's a sort of casual sexism in most researchers. They're not consciously 'normalizing' the males so much as they're assuming that for research purposes a male and female are equivalent, and throwing out the subjects that don't create a 'representative and homogenous population'. Like most issues of sexual disparity, it would matter less if they started at equality. But also like most issues of sexual disparity, it's going to take forcible and deliberate effort to hit a point where you *do* start at equality.

This is not to say that there aren't those researchers who deliberately choose males to work with because 'hormonal fluctuations' can alter test outcomes (especially in Money Pharma where getting the 'right' result can be given priority over getting an accurate one), but mostly this is just...reproductive demographics and ignorant carelessness.

Love,
Rowan

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

That goes for human lab rats as well. Most of the studies only want females who are either "surgically sterile" (yay, me) or not of child-bearing stock because they don't want the potential of affecting possible offspring. So, you end up with a houseful of guys (often from the local jail, doing the studies for commissary money) for most drug studies. That's the explanation I got at the study where I stayed for a couple days.

[funky-peacenik.livejournal.com]

frankly I don't have the energy for maddening anymore.

Yes. This.

I just...checked out.
I have found that I am doing this lately as well. I very much understand allowing another version of yourself to drive the bus, while the other just hangs out. Though, I find myself not wanting any socialization, and really limiting that, which scares me.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I don't really want the socialization, but I feel better afterward, so I keep doing it. Sort of like exercise. You know, when I used to have the energy for that.

[fairgoldberry.livejournal.com]

I hear you on both the checking-out and the need for the social. One of the things the anemia/depression confluence will do is leave me looking at the end credits of a movie and thinking, "Wait, when did I start that?" or reading the same page of a book eight times because I keep losing track of my head. Those days, the internet is really valuable because it pokes me just often enough to keep me paying attention, but doesn't demand any real thought.

Exercise does the same thing; I never feel like I have the 'oomph' to do it but I always feel better after I make myself.

I hope you get some treatments under control and get your real self back in control soon.

Much love,
Rowan

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Real Me is not really enjoying the vacation, thankyouverymuch.