Bye-bye bacon

[clevermanka]

Looks like bacon is on my rarely-if-ever list now.

I made some a few days ago, and noticed swelling afterward. "Salt," I thought. "Just water bloat."

Then I started swelling after every meal like I used to. Big bloat. Hanging-out-over-my-waistband bloat. I-can-rest-my-belly-on-my-desk bloat. I cooked up the second half of the pound on Monday night, and I'm still swelling in a significant manner every time I eat.

I've noticed a decrease in the amount of swelling post-meal over the past few weeks (always a little, but nothing egregious), and the immediate return to my previous swelling tendencies immediately after eating bacon is a little too timely to be coincidental.

So good-bye bacon. Maybe I'll be able to visit a couple times a year, like on my birthday or Thanksgiving. In the meantime, I'll miss you. I'll have our mutual friends say hello for me now and then. Be good to yourself, you delectable indulgence, you.

Comments

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

oh sadness.

I shall not rub salt in the wound (argh) by using a bacon icon here.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Ha! I did! =D

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

Well then, here it is!

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

and talk about First World problems, eh?

"I can't EAT"

[nottygypsy.livejournal.com]

I think that is the saddest thing I've ever heard.

(well not really)

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I am rapidly running out of vices.

[ms-danson.livejournal.com]

You will have to invent some new ones.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Or just indulge more in my remaining few.

[mikalay.livejournal.com]

Oh My GAWD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I know. Major suck.

[nataliesee.livejournal.com]

Not cool, bacon. Not. Cool.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I was very disappointed in it, too. Never expected Bacon to turn traitor.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_luaineach/]

::speechless::

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Yeah.

*nods*

[stuology.livejournal.com]

*gasp*

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I think this one will be more depressing (although not as difficult) as caffeine.

[frugurl27.livejournal.com]

This made me sad inside. If you ever decide to totally violate every eating restriction you have, ask me about bacon sausage rangoon. I promise it will be worth any* level of discomfort.

* Unless your body decides to spontaneously combust.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

The rangoon part is definitely out. No gluten in any form, ever again or I run a risk of somewhat alarming damage to my small intestine. =(

[frugurl27.livejournal.com]

:( We need to find a way to get you a complete stomach/intestine transplant.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

For. Real.

[funky-peacenik.livejournal.com]

What kind of bacon was it? Like was it grocery store bacon or the hippy stuff that comes from happy animals?

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

It was grocery stuff. I haven't had any luck finding fresh side locally. My previous supplier has stopped providing. =(

I should check to see if the Merc can get fresh side...Good idea!

[funky-peacenik.livejournal.com]

If you can't get any... I have a few connections to pick some up for you. I will go ahead and tell parker Farms I want a couple of lbs and let you know when I get it. (If you don't want it then... then I will gladly eat it.)

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Wow, thank you!!!