clevermanka (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
clevermanka) wrote2012-01-14 09:15 am
clevermanka) wrote2012-01-14 09:15 am
Entry tags:
My mother would say this was a character-building exercise
So. The drumming gig last night. Well, I thought we sounded good. We definitely looked good. It was chaotic, though, and I think we all felt a little out of place (except maybe Heidi, who manages to fit in anywhere because she's so goddamn adorable). So I didn't get a group picture with the vests. Some other time, maybe.
Everything else, though? Everything else was just three and a half hours of Awful. I couldn't stand the people at the party (one of the Mardi Gras krewes of KC), the music (when we weren't drumming) was loud and not to my taste, and I nearly started two fights (not too much of an exaggeration, as you'll read below). At the end of the evening, Brayden said of all the people in Egotista, she never expected me to be "Most Likely To Be Involved In A Throw-down In Kansas City."
It's too bad that so many of the party people made me want to smash things. Because the hostess of the party was so nice. Really sweet and kind and warm. God, most of the other people though, or at least the ones I interacted with, were complete douchebags.
Near-fight #1: Earlier in the evening, I went out front to smoke (this was before I knew there was a smoking room in the back of the party space). A couple other Egotista girls were already out there, and as I came out the door, I heard this guy talking to them, and could tell from their faces and body postures that this guy was annoying. So I just kept walking, lit my smoke at the corner, and crossed the alley to look in the windows of some of the closed galleries. After a while, I heard this guy yelling, and I realized that he was trying to start a conversation with me from twenty feet away. Things like "Hey, have you been in there?" (by which he meant the gallery) or "Are you from Kansas City?" WTF, dude. I didn't even make eye contact with you when I came outside. Why are you yelling at me?
Fifteen minutes later, I ran into him again while I was waiting for the toilet. I could hear two people in the room, talking about something, so I knocked. "Just a minute!" Okay, what? Were they having sex in there? It wasn't even 9:00. Way too early for those sorts of shenanigans, IMO. I waited a couple more minutes. Annoying Guy approached to stand in line for the facilities and asked if someone was in there. No, dipshit, it's empty. I'm just standing here guarding an empty toilet. I knocked again and was told to wait longer. I gave one of my Irritated Sighs (patent pending) and Annoying Guy laughed. A third person joined our stationary parade about half a minute later and I yelled through the door "You're getting a queue out here!" Annoying Guy then said these actual words to me: "Chill out! Have a good time! It's a party!" I turned around (slowly I turned), and informed him that at parties, people often have to pee, and I was one of those people, and these two in the bathroom had been in there for longer than it would have taken five of me to do my business (Side note: There was a dressing room space, that was larger than the bathroom and with better mirrors, not fifteen feet away). Eventually, the door opened, and Annoying Guy burst out with "Oh, hey! It's Jim and Cindy (or whatever the fuck their names were). You can't be mad at Jim and Cindy!" I informed him that I didn't know Jim and Cindy and he didn't know me, so he could hardly judge my feelings toward them. "You really need to lighten up," he told me. "And that is precisely what I intend to do now that the toilet is free," I said as I shut the door. When I exited the bathroom, not a minute later, he wasn't in line anymore. So what the fuck was he doing standing there behind me? Oh yeah, trying to chat up someone who'd already given him about a dozen different "I'm not interested" signals.
This guy was a perfect example of The Nice Guy. "But I was just trying to be friendly! Why are girls so mean?" Ugh. Fuck Off, Dude. I found Brayden and informed her that if she saw him approaching me again, she'd better intervene or shit might get ugly.
Near-fight #2: Right before we were to start our third and final set, a woman walked over to the line of drums, grabbed one, and sat down in a chair--obviously intending to just bang out some rhythms. I walked over and told her that hey, that was someone's personal drum, and if she wanted to play before we started, maybe she could use one of the communal group drums, and I handed her one (the one I'd been using). "What makes it a group drum?" she asked. "Well, it's not as expensive, for one. That's a pretty valuable drum," I said, indicating the one in her lap. She stood up, then, and did something that (shockingly) has only happened to me about twice before in my lifetime. She literally got in my face and yelled "Yeah, I know what makes an expensive drum! I'm a drummer!" Now, I don't know if this personal-space-invasion technique usually works for her, but obviously she had no clue who she was dealing with. I leaned in even closer and said "Well, then you should know better than to pick up someone else's instrument and start to play without asking." I would've added "While you're wearing rings and bracelets, bitch," but she started to walk away halfway through the first part of my statement. Which, really, was probably for the best since I don't imagine that conversation would have ended in kisses and cuddles.
I have never been so glad to leave a gig in my life.
Everything else, though? Everything else was just three and a half hours of Awful. I couldn't stand the people at the party (one of the Mardi Gras krewes of KC), the music (when we weren't drumming) was loud and not to my taste, and I nearly started two fights (not too much of an exaggeration, as you'll read below). At the end of the evening, Brayden said of all the people in Egotista, she never expected me to be "Most Likely To Be Involved In A Throw-down In Kansas City."
It's too bad that so many of the party people made me want to smash things. Because the hostess of the party was so nice. Really sweet and kind and warm. God, most of the other people though, or at least the ones I interacted with, were complete douchebags.
Near-fight #1: Earlier in the evening, I went out front to smoke (this was before I knew there was a smoking room in the back of the party space). A couple other Egotista girls were already out there, and as I came out the door, I heard this guy talking to them, and could tell from their faces and body postures that this guy was annoying. So I just kept walking, lit my smoke at the corner, and crossed the alley to look in the windows of some of the closed galleries. After a while, I heard this guy yelling, and I realized that he was trying to start a conversation with me from twenty feet away. Things like "Hey, have you been in there?" (by which he meant the gallery) or "Are you from Kansas City?" WTF, dude. I didn't even make eye contact with you when I came outside. Why are you yelling at me?
Fifteen minutes later, I ran into him again while I was waiting for the toilet. I could hear two people in the room, talking about something, so I knocked. "Just a minute!" Okay, what? Were they having sex in there? It wasn't even 9:00. Way too early for those sorts of shenanigans, IMO. I waited a couple more minutes. Annoying Guy approached to stand in line for the facilities and asked if someone was in there. No, dipshit, it's empty. I'm just standing here guarding an empty toilet. I knocked again and was told to wait longer. I gave one of my Irritated Sighs (patent pending) and Annoying Guy laughed. A third person joined our stationary parade about half a minute later and I yelled through the door "You're getting a queue out here!" Annoying Guy then said these actual words to me: "Chill out! Have a good time! It's a party!" I turned around (slowly I turned), and informed him that at parties, people often have to pee, and I was one of those people, and these two in the bathroom had been in there for longer than it would have taken five of me to do my business (Side note: There was a dressing room space, that was larger than the bathroom and with better mirrors, not fifteen feet away). Eventually, the door opened, and Annoying Guy burst out with "Oh, hey! It's Jim and Cindy (or whatever the fuck their names were). You can't be mad at Jim and Cindy!" I informed him that I didn't know Jim and Cindy and he didn't know me, so he could hardly judge my feelings toward them. "You really need to lighten up," he told me. "And that is precisely what I intend to do now that the toilet is free," I said as I shut the door. When I exited the bathroom, not a minute later, he wasn't in line anymore. So what the fuck was he doing standing there behind me? Oh yeah, trying to chat up someone who'd already given him about a dozen different "I'm not interested" signals.
This guy was a perfect example of The Nice Guy. "But I was just trying to be friendly! Why are girls so mean?" Ugh. Fuck Off, Dude. I found Brayden and informed her that if she saw him approaching me again, she'd better intervene or shit might get ugly.
Near-fight #2: Right before we were to start our third and final set, a woman walked over to the line of drums, grabbed one, and sat down in a chair--obviously intending to just bang out some rhythms. I walked over and told her that hey, that was someone's personal drum, and if she wanted to play before we started, maybe she could use one of the communal group drums, and I handed her one (the one I'd been using). "What makes it a group drum?" she asked. "Well, it's not as expensive, for one. That's a pretty valuable drum," I said, indicating the one in her lap. She stood up, then, and did something that (shockingly) has only happened to me about twice before in my lifetime. She literally got in my face and yelled "Yeah, I know what makes an expensive drum! I'm a drummer!" Now, I don't know if this personal-space-invasion technique usually works for her, but obviously she had no clue who she was dealing with. I leaned in even closer and said "Well, then you should know better than to pick up someone else's instrument and start to play without asking." I would've added "While you're wearing rings and bracelets, bitch," but she started to walk away halfway through the first part of my statement. Which, really, was probably for the best since I don't imagine that conversation would have ended in kisses and cuddles.
I have never been so glad to leave a gig in my life.
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And also, I had no idea KC had Mardi Gras Krewes! So, I learned something from your painful experience. Um, thanks?
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I'm able to laugh about it now, but when I got home last night,
Oh, and you're welcome. I had no idea, either, and I would have preferred not to learn about them this way because now there's no way I'll be able to participate in a Kansas City Mardi Gras, ever.
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Holyshitwowmetoo.
Not meaning to hijack your comment, it's just that you said exactly my thoughts.
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I hear that. Still, somebody's got to challenge the douchenozzles, and that job appears to fall to people like you and me.
every once in a while, I think life would be a whole hell of a lot easier if I was, well, not me.
Also, it gets easier for me to be me, when you're out there being you. And vice versa, I hope. Someone has to 1) recognize this kind of shit (whether it's thinly-veiled misogyny, cultural misappropriation, or co-opting of others' talent and venue in order to showboat, which was what little-miss-drummer-girl was hoping to do); and 2) fucking have the balls to say something.
Re: every once in a while, I think life would be a whole hell of a lot easier if I was, well, not me
=)
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& sorry.
I'd love to see you all in your vests! :D
y
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Hey, if you know anyone who's looking to hire a troupe of drummers, we're available for performances and I promise we'll wear our vests. =D
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obviously she had no clue who she was dealing with
did she not see your CARTOON FACE coming towards her with an EXPRESSION on it?
poor woman was clearly blind.
Re: obviously she had no clue who she was dealing with
Re: obviously she had no clue who she was dealing with
wrong.
Re: obviously she had no clue who she was dealing with
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i do not miss partylike events AT. ALL.
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I'm sure there were lots of really cool people there. Just I didn't meet more than one or two, and they didn't make up for the douchebags.