clevermanka (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
clevermanka) wrote2012-03-25 08:33 am
clevermanka) wrote2012-03-25 08:33 am
Entry tags:
Pattern matching
I'm touching up my roots today. They are (or seem to be) surprisingly long for three-week's worth of growth. Perhaps my thyroid issues really aren't getting worse. Perhaps this time they're just not affecting my hair. Yet. Who knows. Bah. This stuff is so hard (and by "hard," I mean "impossible") to figure out.
There are no patterns. At least none that I can figure out, and I've been dealing with this stuff for nearly a decade. Not all of it at once, maybe, but waves come and go with no patterns.
My world--how I understand and deal with the world--is based entirely on patterns. I watch someone's behavior over a period of time to determine how I want to interact with that person (or if I interact with the person at all). I observe how a system works (KU bureaucracy, local organizations), and approach that system in way that best uses the system for my needs and the needs of those I'm helping.
Very rarely, if ever, do I react to something or someone based only on emotion or a gut instinct. When I do have an emotional response, it's a good bet that my emotions are based on the circumstances of previous experiences--observed patterns.
This disease of mine has (these diseases have?) the remarkable ability to produce symptoms with no noticeable patterns. At least none I've found yet. Dealing with something that makes me tired anyway, as a basic result of its effect on my endocrine system, is doubly exhausting because I have no mental/psychological means to deal with it. Occasionally, I can (must) tell myself that the situation is not logical, cannot be figured out, and must simply be endured. People with invisible chronic illnesses--illnesses that aren't always recognized or treated by modern western medicine--must reconcile ourselves to the fact that we simply cannot spend our entire lives trying to get well. At times, we just have to live, and put the getting-well stuff aside.
Just living is crucial. But so is dealing with the illness. Trying to find ways to live with it, live better. And for me, that means knowing not just how to respond, but how to behave in a proactive manner. For me, that requires finding patterns. Unfortunately, I have found very few of them.
I put my health experiences here, public, unfiltered, for a few different reasons. The most important for me is to show that living with an illness is not shameful. It's frustrating, and sometimes a blow to one's vanity, but it is not a cause for embarrassment. The second reason is that by being honest and (I hope) occasionally amusing about my difficulties, I might inspire other people to fight, or at least come to terms with, their own illnesses. And finally, I post my experiences because maybe someone else might pick up on a pattern someday and share an idea. "Have you noticed this?" "You had that same experience doing that twice before." "This issue came up last year around this time."
Maybe someone else will help me find some patterns.
There are no patterns. At least none that I can figure out, and I've been dealing with this stuff for nearly a decade. Not all of it at once, maybe, but waves come and go with no patterns.
My world--how I understand and deal with the world--is based entirely on patterns. I watch someone's behavior over a period of time to determine how I want to interact with that person (or if I interact with the person at all). I observe how a system works (KU bureaucracy, local organizations), and approach that system in way that best uses the system for my needs and the needs of those I'm helping.
Very rarely, if ever, do I react to something or someone based only on emotion or a gut instinct. When I do have an emotional response, it's a good bet that my emotions are based on the circumstances of previous experiences--observed patterns.
This disease of mine has (these diseases have?) the remarkable ability to produce symptoms with no noticeable patterns. At least none I've found yet. Dealing with something that makes me tired anyway, as a basic result of its effect on my endocrine system, is doubly exhausting because I have no mental/psychological means to deal with it. Occasionally, I can (must) tell myself that the situation is not logical, cannot be figured out, and must simply be endured. People with invisible chronic illnesses--illnesses that aren't always recognized or treated by modern western medicine--must reconcile ourselves to the fact that we simply cannot spend our entire lives trying to get well. At times, we just have to live, and put the getting-well stuff aside.
Just living is crucial. But so is dealing with the illness. Trying to find ways to live with it, live better. And for me, that means knowing not just how to respond, but how to behave in a proactive manner. For me, that requires finding patterns. Unfortunately, I have found very few of them.
I put my health experiences here, public, unfiltered, for a few different reasons. The most important for me is to show that living with an illness is not shameful. It's frustrating, and sometimes a blow to one's vanity, but it is not a cause for embarrassment. The second reason is that by being honest and (I hope) occasionally amusing about my difficulties, I might inspire other people to fight, or at least come to terms with, their own illnesses. And finally, I post my experiences because maybe someone else might pick up on a pattern someday and share an idea. "Have you noticed this?" "You had that same experience doing that twice before." "This issue came up last year around this time."
Maybe someone else will help me find some patterns.
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Fucking well said.
And you know, maybe I won't filter that hormonal stuff after all, just subject line it, so those who don't care can skip past and maybe someone else out there will find it. I'm just uneasy about *certain someone* finding it and commenting unnecessarily.
I'm considering changing to henna. How much has it affected your hair curl?
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The henna took out probably half of my curl. It's worth it for the color (since my only other option is going gray), but it takes a lot (like four days in a row of high humidity, product, and non-washing) to get it to even wave anymore. It does give a little more overall body, though, as
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Oh. Darn, not sure it's worth that for me.
Okay, back to the Demi permanent haircolor then. :)
Until I can decide further, because right now I'm luvvin' ma curls.
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That is a fact, and speaks to me about my neck.
Just living is crucial. But so is dealing with the illness. Trying to find ways to live with it, live better. And for me, that means knowing not just how to respond, but how to behave in a proactive manner.
Testify.
There are answers in trends and patterns, and I hope you find yours. I will make any solid contribution I can.
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ps... My thyroid problems don't affect my hair either. I have no idea why.
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Are you a pattern person, too?
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Very much so.
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