clevermanka: default (smoke)
clevermanka ([personal profile] clevermanka) wrote2012-08-21 09:46 am

Be flexible when the boat comes in

A new Tumblr collection: Tuesday, August 21, Smoking 3.

Yesterday was my third (third?) visit with Dr. Khosh. He is keeping me on the stuff to decrease my estrogen, the adrenal support capsules, and the anti-anxiety/sleeping capsules. He added back in the original cortisol regulator tablets. I take two of the adrenal support pills and an anti-estrogen pill with breakfast; one adrenal support pill, an anti-estrogen pill, and one cortisol regulator pill with lunch; and an anti-estrogen pill and two cortisol regulators with dinner. Then two of the sleeping pills before bed.

I need another weekly pill-minder container.

I need to see some improvement in my abdominal swelling issues.

I need a massage.

I need to buy a winning lottery ticket.

Last night I decided to hit the fuck-it button and I opened a bottle of wine. It wasn't a very good wine (I think someone had brought it to one of parties or something--it wasn't something I would have purchased) and it was pretty awful. I had two sips and quit. I didn't have the inclination to open a new one. So I guess I'm still Whole30-ing it.

My appetite isn't so great the past few days. That's not helping to build muscle. I know I haven't been getting in 100g of starchy glucose every day, either. I am terrified of overdoing it with the starch. I wish there was something I could take that would be like "take two tablespoons twice a day for 100g of glucose." Incorporating bananas and such into my diet scares me because I worry it's a recipe for disaster. I have emotional eating issues when it comes to sweets, and being told I should eat more sugar (in whatever form) makes me uncomfortable. It took me a long time to beat the sugar demon and I don't want it back, thanks.

I'm concerned that I'm not eating enough, or eating too much, or not eating of protein/fat/carbs, or eating too much protein/fat/carbs. But even the idea of keeping a food diary is exhausting. Do you know what a pain in the ass it is to include something as simple as tuna salad in a food diary--when your tuna salad contains seven or eight ingredients, and is never the same twice? Or when you make mostly one-pot dinners and never measure while you're cooking? Or when your lunches are usually reheated dinners, and are usually frozen so you don't get tired of eating the same thing for two weeks and when you finally thaw it out you have no hope of remembering what all was in it, much less the quantity?

*sigh*

I did almost ninety minutes of mobility work this morning. Half an hour of rolling out my entire lower half (including some awkward maneuvering to roll out my adductors) and back, then nearly an hour of yoga. I was distressed to realize I can't get into plow pose anymore and my shoulder stand was wobbly and crooked because my back is tight (I looked like this, and could only hold it for about five breaths). On the plus side, side angle pose was great and I held it for a full ten breaths on each side. Yay for increasing lower body strength.

I'm committing to doing yoga on Tuesday and Thursday mornings when I don't go to Crossfit. This decreasing flexibility stops now.
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[identity profile] ms-danson.livejournal.com 2012-08-21 03:28 pm (UTC)(link)
How does an anti-estrogen pill work? My brain keeps supplying Pac-Man images.

[identity profile] clevermanka.livejournal.com 2012-08-21 03:45 pm (UTC)(link)
Ha! I'm not sure how they work, other than it tells my body to stop producing so much of it.

[identity profile] carmy-w.livejournal.com 2012-08-21 07:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Ummmm - just a weird thought that popped up in my head, which may have absolutely no rational grounds, but:

Are you taking BC, and is the anti-estrogen going to render it inoperative?

I'm NOT asking for an answer; that's private info, but you may want to keep it in mind....

I wouldn't want to find out the hard way that yes, it did stop my BC from working.

[identity profile] clevermanka.livejournal.com 2012-08-21 08:23 pm (UTC)(link)
I stopped taking HBC in 2004. Got my tubes tied. Major health problems were a huge motivator in that. I firmly believe that HBC (however wonderful it may be) played a big part in my current health issues. =(

Thanks for asking!

[identity profile] carmy-w.livejournal.com 2012-08-21 08:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Ah. Well, good for no unexpected pregnancies, and bummer for the side effects of HBC!