clevermanka (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
clevermanka) wrote2013-06-14 09:57 am
clevermanka) wrote2013-06-14 09:57 am
Entry tags:
Le sigh
HOLY SHIT THIS MAN IS FUCKING AWESOME.
D'you think we'll see attitudes like this among our high-ranking officers in the US armed forces? Yeah, me neither.
I found a gif this morning that I love. No idea when or under what circumstances I'd use it, but it's such a thing of beauty, I had to immediately save it to my gif folder. BEHOLD THE GLORY:
In other, significantly less awesome news, I'm swelling like whoa after breakfast, even the day following an acupuncture treatment (sigh), my hips are killing me (sigh), and my limbs are super heavy and weak (sigh). I soldiered through my yoga this morning, but felt weak and unstable through the whole thing and holy shit my hips were stupidly tight. Sigh.
I made an afternoon appointment with my chiropractor to see if there's something out of alignment in my pelvis that is causing all this hip tension.
I'm discouraged about the lack of progress with my body. I don't feel a lot stronger (I can only hold my Warriors 1 and 2 poses for ten or twelve breaths--that's been static for weeks), my cardiovascular endurance hasn't improved (I still get winded going up two flights of stairs and my legs are wobbly at the top), I haven't lost even an inch around my middle since I started working with Andrew, and of course there's the fact that I'm still fucking swelling every time I eat and I've been actively pursuing treatment options about that for three goddamned years.
D'you think we'll see attitudes like this among our high-ranking officers in the US armed forces? Yeah, me neither.
I found a gif this morning that I love. No idea when or under what circumstances I'd use it, but it's such a thing of beauty, I had to immediately save it to my gif folder. BEHOLD THE GLORY:
In other, significantly less awesome news, I'm swelling like whoa after breakfast, even the day following an acupuncture treatment (sigh), my hips are killing me (sigh), and my limbs are super heavy and weak (sigh). I soldiered through my yoga this morning, but felt weak and unstable through the whole thing and holy shit my hips were stupidly tight. Sigh.
I made an afternoon appointment with my chiropractor to see if there's something out of alignment in my pelvis that is causing all this hip tension.
I'm discouraged about the lack of progress with my body. I don't feel a lot stronger (I can only hold my Warriors 1 and 2 poses for ten or twelve breaths--that's been static for weeks), my cardiovascular endurance hasn't improved (I still get winded going up two flights of stairs and my legs are wobbly at the top), I haven't lost even an inch around my middle since I started working with Andrew, and of course there's the fact that I'm still fucking swelling every time I eat and I've been actively pursuing treatment options about that for three goddamned years.
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I also feel angry on two levels. I'm angry that my body isn't improving. I'm not getting leaner or stronger (I'd take either, thanks). My body shape is not pleasing to me and I don't feel good about how I look in my dance costumes as we approach KCRF. And then on the other level I feel angry that I am unhappy with my body because it doesn't meet general societal expectations of how a bellydancer should look.
I mean, I have never been skinny and I'm fine with that. Good with that. Really good with that, actually. I loved my dramatic curves and slight tummy pooch (http://www.flickr.com/photos/chernobylred/3727225564/sizes/z/in/set-72157607796191342/). Even when I was heavier than I am right now I had a fucking awesome waist/hip ratio (http://www.flickr.com/photos/chernobylred/3726482931/sizes/m/in/set-72157607796191342/). Last year I was starting to lose that waist definition (http://www.flickr.com/photos/chernobylred/8722693025/sizes/z/in/set-72157607796191342/), though, and there's even less of it now, thanks to this horrible and constant inflammation/swelling around my abdomen.
I know bodies change as we age and I won't stay the same shape and size forever, but I feel like I'm trapped in a body that isn't mine, and it's a body I don't like at all.
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Also, I have one million hearts for the Australian. That guys is AWESOME.
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So now I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me, since the adrenal fatigue seems to be in check and I'm still having problems. We're looking at lymph drainage issues now because WHY NOT.
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Absolutely.
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All I can say about you health issues is: That sucks. I'm sorry.
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I wish more men in places of power would even think like that.
And thank you.
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I also feel angry on two levels. I'm angry that my body isn't improving. I'm not getting leaner or stronger (I'd take either, thanks). My body shape is not pleasing to me and I don't feel good about how I look in my dance costumes as we approach KCRF. And then on the other level I feel angry that I am unhappy with my body because it doesn't meet general societal expectations of how a bellydancer should look.
I mean, I have never been skinny and I'm fine with that. Good with that. Really good with that, actually. I loved my dramatic curves and slight tummy pooch (http://www.flickr.com/photos/chernobylred/3727225564/sizes/z/in/set-72157607796191342/). Even when I was heavier than I am right now I had a fucking awesome waist/hip ratio (http://www.flickr.com/photos/chernobylred/3726482931/sizes/m/in/set-72157607796191342/). Last year I was starting to lose that waist definition (http://www.flickr.com/photos/chernobylred/8722693025/sizes/z/in/set-72157607796191342/), though, and there's even less of it now, thanks to this horrible and constant inflammation/swelling around my abdomen.
I know bodies change as we age and I won't stay the same shape and size forever, but I feel like I'm trapped in a body that isn't mine, and it's a body I don't like at all.
no subject
Also, I have one million hearts for the Australian. That guys is AWESOME.
no subject
So now I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me, since the adrenal fatigue seems to be in check and I'm still having problems. We're looking at lymph drainage issues now because WHY NOT.
no subject
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Absolutely.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
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All I can say about you health issues is: That sucks. I'm sorry.
no subject
I wish more men in places of power would even think like that.
And thank you.
no subject
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