These thrills ain't as cheap as they used to be

[clevermanka]

OH MY GOD THIS SONG.

I changed the locks
But your key, your key's still working
You can't train a moth, I guess
Uh, each beast gets her burden
So we circle this old flame
Too much at stake but too late to change
My nerves are shot, my reserves exhausted
It's a tired plot but we bought it
Now we're lost
Between love and cholera
Saccharine read, such a sentimental novel
Give you cavities if it doesn't drive you to the bottle
As for me, I'll take another kerosene if you got it
Something harder, look, like a moth you see
And I still get chills when you talk to me
But the years pass by now in twos and threes
These thrills ain't as cheap as they used to be

If you're asking
I can't say no
Just one more chapter
Our book won't close
And I know it's madness
To play these odds
It's like giving matches
To paper, to paper dolls

(I know it's madness, I know
I know it's madness, I know
I know it's mad)

Uh, tried sweet talk, tried dynamite
But I sleepwalk back to the battle site
Fight fire with fire but the fire won't fight
We just fly these circles like tired kites
And you flash some fang
And I bat my lashes
And we're back again
No end to this game with matches
We've been lovers and strangers and friends who get angry
Made mistakes and amends and brief moments of magic
We forgive and forget and give in to attraction
This whole thing depends on amnesia and magnets
And I'd be leaving for good, I'd be looking for better
But I got this broken habit I keep gluing back together
The fever, the fire, the feathers
The fever defies measure
And good sense won't venture where the moth will go

If you're asking
I can't say no
Just one more chapter
Our book won't close
And I know it's madness
To play these odds
It's like giving matches
To paper, to paper dolls

(Just like, just like...
Just like, just like...
Just like giving matches to paper dolls
Just like, just like...
Just like, just like...
Just like giving matches to paper dolls)

If you're asking
I can't say no
Just one more chapter
Our book won't close
And I know it's madness
To play these odds
It's like giving matches
To paper, to paper dolls

Rules for people 25 and older. I found that while reading an entry on this advice blog and oh my god you guiz that advice blog. SO GOOD. Like, honest and for real good good.

And in the opposite corner is this blog, with this entry as a perfect example of the awesome.

Not gonna lie, I get a teensy bit irritated that strict Whole30 eating didn't/doesn't cause miraculous physical improvement for me. I got over my obsessive/compulsive food issues. And, um. That's it. And that's huge, I realize that. But my thyroid/autoimmune issues, weight gain, fatigue problems, etc., are all just as bad or worse after two (three?) years of conscientious monitoring of my food. GRUMP. I'm also feeling a bit tetchy that, for the second year in a row, I am more bloated/swollen/thick around my middle as KCRF winds down. Despite eating less. Despite moving more (except for this week). Despite everything that happens with a normal body.



I am so relieved to have only two more weekends of KCRF. I can only imagine how awesome it's going to be next week when it's one more weekend. And then Tuesday the 15th. OH GLORIOUS DAY OF TUESDAY, OCTOBER 15, 2013 when I'm done done done with this gig forever.

Comments

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

wow. That song is also like the pattern around loving dance/hating performances.

Awwwww fuckit ferret!

..and I'll now retreat to my own blog for more on eating.

I heard that sigh of relief! ;)

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

That song is also like the pattern around loving dance/hating performances

*uncomfortable laughter*

[msmitti.livejournal.com]

phew! According to that article, I actually act like an adult most of the time. I was kinda worried about reading it :)

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

I disagree with the advice on how to walk in heels. It's not heel-toe, heel-toe. That's how you walk in sneakers. It's toe-heel, toe-heel, like you're tiptoeing barefoot. It gives a smooth gait, and not a chance of heel wobble.

That being said, don't wear heels. They're horrible for your body.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Hm. I wear heels a lot, and toe-heel doesn't give an even or stable gait for me. Different strokes, I guess.

[zitronenhai.livejournal.com]

WOW. THAT SONG.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

The whole album is good, although that song is one of the highlights. You can find the whole thing on YouTube.

[pointoforigin.livejournal.com]

Loved the advice! It really is good. I especially liked the part about how to calculate a tip. Hanging out with science fiction people as I do, I'm always boggled by the sight of someone taking out a calculator to do the tip. WTF it's not rocket science.

About "everything that happens with a normal body"--I got nothin but "I sympathize." I don't think I've ever found a program/diet/whatever that worked on my body the way it was "supposed to." And yet what can I say. Still here, so I just keep trying stuff. I very much appreciate hearing about your experiments even if they don't come out the way you wanted.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Yeah, if I can figure a 20% tip in my head, most anyone can.

[alryssa.livejournal.com]

I can't imagine how frustrating the last couple of years have been for you on the food front. You've done just about every kind of variation on diet known to humanity, it seems, and NOTHING IS HELPING. Uuuugh.

[alryssa.livejournal.com]

Um, for me it IS rocket science, because I can't do mental arithmetic. It's an ADD-related issue. I literally cannot visualise numbers in my head.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

NGL, it's pretty fucking frustrating.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Yep. Hence the "most anyone."

I can add small numbers in my head, but double-digit subtraction? Forget it. Go get me a pencil! =D

[alryssa.livejournal.com]

This was a large source of anxiety for me in school; I was a top flight class student in math but the regular mental arithmetic tests? I always scored very poorly. And the looks I'd get from everyone, teacher and students alike? Unbearable.

[alryssa.livejournal.com]

clevermanka's life over the last couple years SUMMED UP IN GIF FORM:



"MY LIFE. HOW DO I EVEN."




"I'MMA GET THIS SHIT IN ORDER, YO."


SIX MONTHS LATER, IN clevermanka'S INTERNALS


clevermanka SAYS "O I C."


TIME TO GET SERIOUS


clevermanka'S BODY SAYS WATCH OUT, WE GOT A BADASS OVER HERE





18 MONTHS LATER

[nottygypsy.livejournal.com]

I know how much KCRF sucks, but it would be nice if maybe you said your show hosting team was awesome and tried hard to take care of their dancing team. As we are hoping to attract some other dancers for next year, please mention any positives about that you can.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

HOLY SHIT THIS IS THE MOST ACCURATE THING EVER

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Well, I don't know any other dancers who'd be up for it. And you know what? My LJ, my opinions!

[nottygypsy.livejournal.com]

Very true.

[aprilstarchild.livejournal.com]

A few items on the advice list bug me.

Yeah, I've asked to stay with friends in other cities. But always prefacing it with "It's totally okay if the answer is no." Sometimes you end up with a place to stay; sometimes they hem and haw and I say, "No really, you can say no!" and they say no, and that's good, because I don't want to stay with a friend who is unhappy about it, but I also don't want to miss out on crashing with a friend because they assumed I'd already arranged a place to stay.

I totally assume my friends will help me move--if I'm doing a bike move. Which I have. I have gone on their bike moves. Welcome to Portland. (Also, posting to facebook "I need help moving something on _____, can anyone help out?" almost always results in "Yes!", especially if you promise to feed them or give them beer.)

I lack a physical awareness of my surroundings. It's genetic. My mom and walk into door jambs and trip over stupid shit and occasionally stop while walking and/or bump into people. It's not intentional, or we'd stop, 'cause it's embarrassing.

The money thing...it's more like, be aware of how much money you do/don't have and don't expect people to cover you. But if people do offer, thank them graciously, and when you have the ability, do the same for others. With the high unemployment rate in Portland, there ends up being a lot of mutual generosity, because most of us have been there.

HAHAHA as I found out this weekend, I suck ass at walking in heels. CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP. I'm very much a heel-toe fast walker....in sneakers.

[aprilstarchild.livejournal.com]

Is that one really an ADHD thing? God, that would explain a lot. I can't do it either.

I can do tips, but....mostly because I generally just round them up. I overtip. I'm okay with that.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

When I was a teenager, my mom made me practice walking in heels for months before she let me out of the house in them. GOOD FOR YOU, MOM.

[aprilstarchild.livejournal.com]

God, I wish my mom had done that! But back then I'm not sure my mom even owned any heels.

My mom wears some super-cute comfy shoes for ballroom dancing now, with a short stacked heel. I'm tempted to hit up the stores where she buys them. They're kinda old-lady but I don't care. All the heeled shoes I tend to like border on old-lady shoes, because I like rounded toes and short wide heels. Taller/thinner heels = twisted/sprained ankle for me.

Those Danskos I bought for my cosplay aren't like the squishy ones I tried on in a store, alas. They're not bad but I couldn't stand/walk in them all day; I took them off a few times. But they look fucking awesome and will go with lots of nicer outfits and I'm going to get a lot of wear out of them. I especially love that because they're heels, they don't look too young even though they're mary janes, and so I can wear them with cutesy outfits and make them look a little bit more grown-up.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

All the heeled shoes I tend to like border on old-lady shoes, because I like rounded toes and short wide heels

Me, too.

THAT SUCKS that the Danskos you bought aren't as squishy as the ones you tried on. Do you think you got ripped off by a fake/knock off?

[aprilstarchild.livejournal.com]

oh no, they're real. But Dansko has several lines of shoes, and some are squishy and some aren't, and the ones I bought aren't.

The ones I tried on were from a different line, and I knew that in the store--it was a Nordstrom Rack.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Ahhhhh. *tsk* Too bad. =/

[alryssa.livejournal.com]

Dyscalculia of varying degrees has been noted in ADD/ADHD folks, yeah. Mine is a relatively mild case, but it's still a point of frustration here and there.

*nods* I tend to, too. But given how shitty the pay is for tipped employees in general, I don't consider it a bad thing. :)