Hello, 3:09 a.m.

[clevermanka]

Yep. Again. Still.

This is, I think...two? weeks that I haven't slept past 4:30. It's the first time I've awakened as early as 3:00 and been unable to fall back asleep, though. GOOD TIMES.

Last night was my first full-length hypnotherapy session, and...I dunno, guys. I'm trying really hard to keep an open mind because I remember how skeptical I was about the NMT stuff when I first started it and it practically cured my environmental allergies. But...eh. Right now I'm not feeling the hypnotherapy love.

So here's what happened during the session. This was for the Cellular Release Therapy we're trying. She led me through a basic relaxation progression. Nothing I haven't done for a savasana meditation. Then she asked me yes/no questions about issues/events I'd put on my List Of Difficult things. My index finger was my yes indicator and my pinky finger was my no indicator. Most of the time they were questions I could consciously answer, but after we covered each example of a Difficult Thing she would tell my subconscious to clear my body of emotional and physical responses to that Thing. Then she would ask me to indicate when I felt like things were cleared and I was like "Uh. How would I know?" She'd mentioned that some people feel the response differently (some people feel like a string is pulling up the appropriate finger, some just feel "a sensation"). I waited until I felt some sort of tingle in my index finger and then I would move it. But I don't know if it was my brain going that finger needs to move, yo, or we'll be here all night. It was awkward and I felt like I was faking it.

And then of course she encouraged me to get a good night's sleep and I only managed five hours. I'm like, I even fail at sleeping.

And also of course today is the last day the campus gym is open until Monday so if I want to get in a resistance training session I gotta do it tonight right after work because Thanksgiving Holiday starts today and the gym isn't open this morning and they close at 5pm tonight so thank god at least I get to close the office at 4pm because classes aren't in session. On five hours of sleep. After an eight-hour day in the office alone (with no lunch nap) because the other secretary has the day off and ain't no students gonna be around and probably the only faculty who're gonna be there are the annoying ones that I don't wanna see anyway.



And also also of course, we all know what happens when I have chronic insomnia. My swelling issues get worse! I'm thinking maybe the jeans I picked out to wear today (because No Classes! Casual Day!) might not have been the best idea. Too late to pick out something else, though, because fuck if I'm gonna wake mckitterick by prowling around in the closet for a different outfit. Ugh.

PITY PARTY IN AISLE L.

Comments

[hdsqrl.livejournal.com]

The "...or we'll be here all night" line is SO how I think, too.

Fuck the not-sleeping. I was awake at 4:41am - FAR TOO EARLY, for sure. I listened to the cat purr a while, and then when another cat decided it was Sharpen My Claws On The Carpet time, I figured I may as well get up and feed the felines before they woke Chris.

Meh.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Meh, indeed.

Naturally, I'm just now getting sleepy. I'm trying to decide if curling up on the couch until I have to leave for work would be a really bad idea. I've got no alarm clock out here...

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

I am so very unhappy for you.

Well, if you *don't* have any swelling today after all that, I suppose you could chalk it up to the hypnotherapy?
(go ahead, hardee-har-har now.. I would)

I'm trying to remember if I had any particular instantaneous feelings of "better" from the EMDR (closest thing I've done to hypnotherapy).. and I did notice a lesser emotional reaction to the disturbing thoughts right away. But it did work in the long run.

:crosses fingers for you:

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Already swelling after my cup of herbal tea with a dollop of coconut milk.

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

[mckitterick.livejournal.com]

OMG that cat! My kitty Helen would have done exactly that, when she was in a mood.

[msmitti.livejournal.com]

so much suck. sorry chica.

I suppose you are allergic (or maybe just have an aversion) to any kind of sleeping meds?

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Honestly, I've never tried any sleeping medications. Seems most of them are designed to help you fall asleep, not keep you asleep. And I have no problems falling asleep--at least not the first time.

[sherwood21.livejournal.com]

:( I'm sorry today's a rough day. I will bring the party hats.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

[alryssa.livejournal.com]

I giggled.

[mckitterick.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha! Aw, Grumpy Cat in the Hat.

[alryssa.livejournal.com]

uuuuuugh

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

SERIOUSLY.

I managed to get about 45 minutes of sleep between 6:30 and 7:30, but I'm still fucking beat.

[seascribe.livejournal.com]

I am SO IN for the pity party. Although I can't complain about the insomnia, I think my wee-small hours meeting with you online last night was just from coffee and an uncomfortable sofa bed. I am sorry you're dealing with stupid body no sleep issues though, ugh. And that the hypnotherapy is off to a slow start. I hope that improves. It would make me kind of skeptical too, but maybe it'll take a turn for the useful?

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

We'll see. I'm trying so hard to reserve judgment, but girl that just NOT my strong suit.

Hope you recovered okay from the fall? It wasn't too bad of a spill, I hope.

[seascribe.livejournal.com]

I have had therapists like that. Is there another one you can try, or does she have a corner on the hypnotherapy market?

Yeah, I just tumbled down the bottom four or five stairs, so I was fine. Just annoyed.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

There are other hypnotherapists in Lawrence, but I really like her on a personal level and want to give her more of a chance. Looking at their websites, hers was by far the most professional-looking and promising. The others gave off too much of a woo-woo vibe for me.