Weary

[clevermanka]

I'm on my third day of fatigue and figured I'd better document it because documentation is important. I had to take the elevator up one floor to get to my office this morning. Thank gods mckitterick was awake to give me a ride up the hill to work because oh god that would've been so tiring otherwise. Stupid, stupid fatigue.

Check out these liquid matte lipsticks. I want Mars and Soul. I'm tempted to order them, but 1) money, and 2) my lips peel at the drop of a hat, so I'm always leery to drop cash on lipstick that I can't return.

Speaking of make-ups, I'm gonna get rid of all my single-pot eye shadows. I know you're not supposed to share make-ups, but whatever. I was in theater. I've been sharing cosmetics since I was fourteen. If anyone wants my colors, let me know. They're dramatic, high-pigment, colorful stuff that I mostly used for dance and out-on-the-town makeup.

The guy who plays The Doof Warrior in Mad Max Fury Road is an Australian musician and his style is not what you'd expect from his performance in the film.

There's a meme going around Tumblr that says "Reblog with what you would tell your 13-year-old self in the tags." The only one I can think of is Stop starving yourself. So what if you're chubbier than other girls your age. Starving yourself now is going to do some major damage down the road. Everything else, though, nah. It was good to have those lessons actually happen. I might throw in a few little things, though, like Your obsession with Duran Duran is going to be 100% justified when they're still relevant in your 40s, so don't be embarrassed at how much you love them, or Ignore whats-her-name's snide comments about making fashion statements. Yes, you are making a fashion statement and you look fantastic.

Now my 25-year-old self? She could've used some advice on two major issues.

Stop wasting your time on weight machines. Get a trainer. HSES grad students are cheap for hire for KU students. Get your ass in the free weight room and don't stop going to the gym just because your boyfriend wants you to sleep in with him in the mornings.

Don't buy the house with D. In fact, just break up with him after that major fuck-up of his early in the relationship. He might be super cute, but he is bad news for you.

Would you give advice to younger you?

Comments

[mckitterick.livejournal.com]

Cut your damned long hair and ask out that hawt black-haired chick working behind the computer desk.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

NGL, your hair really was a tragedy.

[renniemom.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry you're battling fatigue again/still. :-(

Advice to my 11 year old or 25 year old selves is an interesting question. I will ponder that a bit.

If you happen to have any yellow, orange or pink family eye shadow pots I am very interested.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

The fatigue BS might just be a lifelong thing that comes and goes. Won't be so bad if it's a rare thing, I guess, but right now it's just too frequent of a drag.

I definitely have some orange left, not sure about the yellows. I might've used those up. But that color palette is yours for the taking! Send me your mailing address and I'll pop them off to you this weekend.

[kazoogrrl.livejournal.com]

Stop worrying about money, quit your dumbass job, and travel.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

That's pretty good advice for any stage of life, really. =D

[splix.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry about the fatigue. :((( Hope it clears soon. It sucks to feel that way.

Love the lippy! The colors are great, but it is a lot to spend. I bought one of those OCC Lip Tar paints and it didn't work at all for me, and I was out 22 bucks. RAR. >:(

Thanks for the song link! Cool voice.

I could give my younger self advice, but I'm pretty sure younger self wouldn't give a shit/listen.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure younger self wouldn't give a shit/listen.

I am all about learning from the mistakes of others. It just saves so much time.

[msmitti.livejournal.com]

I think my 13 and 25 year old self needed to be told the same thing: don't care so much what others think. Hell, I think my 42 year old self needs to be told that on a regular basis (thankfully, it is a lesson I am finally learning though).

Also related, do whatever it is for me, not for them. Again--don't care what they think.

and kazoogrrl nailed it with the quit worrying about money and travel.

Live your fricking life.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Comparison is the thief of joy!

[1-rhiannon-1.livejournal.com]

Oh god, younger me and I would have to take a week vacation somewhere secluded so I can drill some important advice through her uber-dramatic teenage brain.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Ha ha ha ha! That is a fantastic image!

[fionnabhar.livejournal.com]

Tell somebody. Keep telling somebody until one of them makes it stop.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

[stuology.livejournal.com]

I have soooo many things I'd want to shake into me. But I know me, and I wouldn't have listened to myself anyhow. Well, maybe at 25, but not at 13.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I was probably a better listener at 13.

[mundungus42.livejournal.com]

To teen me: You are so much more than your sexual state, and you have no obligations to people who find you attractive simply because they express their attraction.

Those liquid matte lipsticks are amazing, but holy shit, I could wear ZERO of those colors.

[aprilstarchild.livejournal.com]

Related: I saw a tumblr post saying something like: There is a difference between liking someone, and liking the attention they give you.

Took me a while to separate those myself. Sigh.

[gansje.livejournal.com]

Advice to my younger self, lessee...

"Stop wasting your youth thinking you're fat -- you're not, you're gorgeous."

"After your son is born, you will want to leave your husband. DO IT. Do not hesitate, move back in with your parents and do it."

"Recitation counts. Go to recitation."

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I actually was fat when I was young, but I didn't even care until my mom started making a big deal of it.

I hear you on recitation. I love going to chanting/kirtans at the local yoga studio that occasionally hosts them. They're incredibly soothing and energizing.

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

OMG Iota is adorbs. Him with the puppies in the Schizo vid.
Thank you!

13 yr old me? Hm. I dunno, I was pretty awesome at 13, and NGL, my teen years were a blast. I didn't give a rats ass what anyone thought of me, and I had fun.

20-something me? Another story.
"Either hang onto that guy who told you that you'd never have to work a day in your life and just keep taking the birth control behind his back. He's a good dude and you'll miss him. If you won't listen to that, then:
Never mind all that love stuff, honey, go date the hell out of those rich ones and gather up as many baubles as you can that you can hock when you'll need them later. Oh, and that Hells Angel? Run. Run far away and never look back."

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I love you and your practical love advice. =D

[sherwood21.livejournal.com]

I dig that Mars lippy. I might order that & let you try it out. I don't really see you having these, but if you've got any sort of frosty/silver/blue shadows, I'd take those off your hands.

I don't really have any advice to my 25 year old self. My 21 year old self though? - Don't marry that guy. You have to take care of yourself and your own responsibilities & needs first.

[sherwood21.livejournal.com]

OMG THOSE BASTARDS. It's already out of stock.

[write-out.livejournal.com]

DURAN DURAN!! I still love them so, so much too! They were everything to me!

That is some damn good advice. I've seen this meme going around too and it's making me think hard about what I'd tell my younger self.

[aprilstarchild.livejournal.com]

Duran Duran wasn't a big deal to me until they had that one "comeback" album in 1992, the one with "Come Undone" on it. I was in eighth grade and I LOVED THAT SONG. Plus the other single on that album.

I think I was an adult before I realized, no, Duran Duran is just good music, damn.

[chronovore.livejournal.com]

Now-Me to Younger-Me: “Get over yourself and be nicer to people.”

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Well you seem to have done pretty well on those counts, despite a later start than you might have wanted. You're a pretty spectacular human being.

[aprilstarchild.livejournal.com]

I have a liquid matte lipstick. I never wear it, because your lips have to be totally perfectly smooth first (mine never are) and it's drying as hell.

The stuff I put in my tags for that post wasn't advice, just reassurance that I was going to have lots of friends and find love and feel beautiful, none of which felt like it could be true when I was 13. (I had friends, yes, but I was always suspicious that they mostly just tolerated me.)

But ADVICE for my thirteen year old self?

You have ADHD. You know this from the first time you read about it. As utterly terrifying as it is, tell your parents. They won't take you seriously, so tell them again. Ask for a doctor's appointment. Maybe point out how all your report cards basically say you're not paying attention, can't sit still, and won't shut up.

(Would it have worked? They managed to overlook every single report card saying those things. I wasn't hyperactive like Chris was, after all. My parents were okay with completely ignoring how badly I was doing in school until report cards, then punish me for my shitty grades; but they wouldn't do the basic things they KNEW WORKED like asking to see my homework or getting weekly progress reports, and when they asked why I wasn't doing my schoolwork and I wailed "I don't know!" they just got more angry at me.

YEAH. I'M STILL BITTER. Sorry about spewing it all at you.)

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I don't blame you for being bitter. I'm still bitter my parents refused to enroll me in dance or gymnastic classes, even though I begged for them.

[poincaraux.livejournal.com]

Sleep habits, exercise habits. Multitasking doesn't work. Go to more concerts.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Pity I didn't meet you until you'd already left Lawrence. I'd have sneaked you into all the local shows. From 1994 to 1997 I saw two or three bands a week. Of course, you might now share my hearing problems but OH WELL.

[siro-gravity.livejournal.com]

To my 13 and 25 year old self, the message would be the same:
"you hang in there; when you are 30 everything will change, and you will be OK."

I like that guy's music!

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Change is the only constant! =D

advice to younger me?

[the-lucky-nun.livejournal.com]

"Let your dad die of his overdose, that night. Don't call Don and Vi until the morning. The nightlight in the kitchen can stay on, and you'll save your mom, sister, your brother, and yourself years of abuse. Just go back to bed."

"You have the right to say no, to say nothing and walk away while a guy's in mid-sentence, to take up space, to leave, to speak up, to not hang on until the bitter end, to be a bitch, to be the friend-zoner, to say he's a lousy lay, to tell him to fuck off and get out of your sight, to ask for more money at your job, to call yourself a writer, to call yourself a singer, to call yourself a musician, to define yourself without a second opinion."

Re: advice to younger me?

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

That first one is really hard, and that second one is just AMAZING.

[the-themiscyran.livejournal.com]

I love the Duran Duran advice. :) My teenage self feels so justified these days.

The biggest and best advice I could give to myself at any age would be "Write more. Do it now. Don't put it off. Submit things for publication as often as possible and don't let early rejections get to you. Life is going to happen and you'll need good habits to get the writing career you want before your 40s."

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Durannies 5EVAH

[mckitterick.livejournal.com]

Holy wow, that vid was unexpectedly moving.