clevermanka: default (Default)
clevermanka ([personal profile] clevermanka) wrote2013-09-04 10:58 am

I'd like to try some delayed gratification with him

I think I've mentioned that The Toast is my new fave blog. Check out today's entry, Tim Curry and Morgan Freeman Finally Take You Up On Offer To Read The Phone Book.

Today's Softer World is good, too.



I'm having problems getting motivated about anything lately. Physically, emotionally, mentally...I'm just sort of blah about everything. Like I'm depressed, but it's not depression. It's just, I dunno. Ennui? I feel like I have too much going on right now, so my psyche is digging in her heels and just not doing jack.

My motivation to exercise is low. This morning I hauled myself out of bed in time to lift. I even got my shoes on. But...no. Just no. I took off my shoes and did some yoga. Which, great. At least I did something. But it'll be a week tomorrow since I lifted something heavy and I can't let myself slack on that if being strong is my priority. I can tell I haven't been adequately working my posterior chain because even with my hourly walks, my left hip is bugging me when I sit.

My compulsive eating habits are creeping back. That nagging "you know you want to eat that so eat it because you know you want it and it's RIGHT THERE in the cabinet and you know you want to eat it so eat it because you know you want it and it's RIGHT THERE" mantra that just does not fucking shut up until I've binged myself halfway to a coma and isn't that an awesome thing to have back after not seeing the demon for so long.

I think maybe I need to start structuring my evenings a little more. If I get out of the house to do something for a couple hours I can remove the environment for the compulsive eating habits and jump start myself to actually do something.

Gotta be something free or really cheap, though, because I am still dead broke.


Thanks, [personal profile] shanmonster, for the heads-up on the video. I'd seen gifs of it on Tumblr (of course), but hadn't seen the whole video yet. DELICIOUS.
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[identity profile] ms-danson.livejournal.com 2013-09-04 04:49 pm (UTC)(link)
*snerk* The phonebook...

[identity profile] clevermanka.livejournal.com 2013-09-04 04:51 pm (UTC)(link)
It was educational, too. I had no idea Tim Curry'd had a stroke.
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[identity profile] ms-danson.livejournal.com 2013-09-04 04:52 pm (UTC)(link)
I didn't either. That was kept rather quiet.

[identity profile] mckitterick.livejournal.com 2013-09-04 05:56 pm (UTC)(link)
If it helps you break that cycle, I'm okay with no longer having those plantain chips in the house.

Let me just point out the sacrifice I'm willing to make here. The selflessness and stuff.

[identity profile] clevermanka.livejournal.com 2013-09-04 06:18 pm (UTC)(link)
That's very generous of you, yes. First I'm going to try doing other things besides staying home and eating, though. If that doesn't help, I'll let you know.

[identity profile] redheadfae.livejournal.com 2013-09-04 07:16 pm (UTC)(link)

Love the phone book entry.

Have you gotten any insight as to what is triggering the binges? Besides, you know, Food Right There?
Impending Autumn?
Did you do this at Festival time previously because you were dancing so much?
Are you lacking any minerals or vitamins?

I've made the fabulous unfortunate discovery that my local store now carries an all natural ice cream in a delightful chocolate, and little Haagen Daaz minis in no additives recipe as well. nomnomnomnom has been my habit for a week now.

[identity profile] clevermanka.livejournal.com 2013-09-04 07:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Faire season and my current attitude toward it has a whole hell of a lot to do with the eating issues. It's taking all my willpower to keep going with that, and you know willpower is finite.

If I was resorting to any other negative behaviors, I'd shrug it off and deal with it when KCRF was over. But stopping exercise and resuming bad eating habits are the two things I can't allow to get a grip on me. Gotta do something to avoid falling into those old patterns.

[identity profile] kazoogrrl.livejournal.com 2013-09-04 11:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Good, you saw the PBS clip, I was going to make sure to post it if you hadn't. It's about the only thing that made my day bearable. *reads* OK, at that piece from The Toast. Speaking of Tim Curry, did you read this?

http://www.buzzfeed.com/adambvary/something-terrible-has-happened-here-the-crazy-story-of-how

Do you think the stress/stupidity around the KCRF would be causing some of your issues? For me, when my balance is thrown off my something it can tends to make me say, "Fuck it!" and it all goes to hell.

[identity profile] clevermanka.livejournal.com 2013-09-05 01:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh my god, THANK YOU for that brilliant article on Clue! I love that movie, and the article, although a teensy bit heartbreaking, was a wonderful glimpse into the making of it and how much it was loved by the people making it.

Do you think the stress/stupidity around the KCRF would be causing some of your issues?

Most certainly. See my response to [livejournal.com profile] redheadfae, above.

[identity profile] kazoogrrl.livejournal.com 2013-09-05 11:45 pm (UTC)(link)
After doing a Whole30 this spring just using the Whole9 site and forums, I'm not checking It Starts With Food out from the library and using it as inspiration to get back on track. Maybe not another Whole30, but at least cleaning up my act, not just what I eat but all the counterproductive habits I fall back on and into.

[identity profile] nottygypsy.livejournal.com 2013-09-04 11:51 pm (UTC)(link)
OMG the phone book. I did know about the stroke, hope he IS better now.

Maybe if you took everything that goes wrong and blamed KCRF, you know like "I broke a nail, THANKS KCRF!" That's what I'm doing.

Cookie Monster and Tom, adorbs.

[identity profile] clevermanka.livejournal.com 2013-09-05 01:29 pm (UTC)(link)
if you took everything that goes wrong and blamed KCRF

I pretty much already do this. Like, year-round I do this. =D

[identity profile] pointoforigin.livejournal.com 2013-09-05 12:31 am (UTC)(link)
You know . . . I really, really wanted to say something very helpful and sympathetic about being attacked by an eating binge, because that happens to me, too, and it makes me feel like a drugged rat incessantly pushing the bar to receive ratfood flavored pellets I don't even want.

But, now I can't because this post is so full of win I forgot all about that stuff. I read that dialog out loud to the Sparrowhawk, and in spite of my very inferior impersonation skills at being Tim Curry and Morgan Freeman, he LOLed like a maniac. BUT--if forced to choose between Tom Hiddleston with a plate of cookies, and Tim Curry and Morgan Freeman with the phone book, I . . . I just don't know. OH HAVE MERCY ON MONSTER! THIS VERY HARD FOR MONSTER!

[identity profile] clevermanka.livejournal.com 2013-09-05 01:30 pm (UTC)(link)
if forced to choose between Tom Hiddleston with a plate of cookies, and Tim Curry and Morgan Freeman with the phone book, I . . . I just don't know.

Really? ARE YOU SURE?

Image

[identity profile] pointoforigin.livejournal.com 2013-09-05 02:05 pm (UTC)(link)
Ohgod . . . my chocolate chips are all melted now . . .

[identity profile] kazoogrrl.livejournal.com 2013-09-05 11:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Personally I liked it when he sniffed the cookie.

[identity profile] theoneinblue.livejournal.com 2013-09-05 01:18 am (UTC)(link)
I'm going to have to second pointoforigin here...stupid eating urges, but SO MUCH WIN in this post otherwise. Thanks for those links!

[identity profile] clevermanka.livejournal.com 2013-09-05 01:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Whee! You're welcome!

[identity profile] alryssa.livejournal.com 2013-09-06 07:47 am (UTC)(link)
BLAH. Feeling blah pretty much describes my feeling about ALL THE THINGS right now. I tend to eat when I'm bored, too. Usually after work.

But that Cookie Monster video is the bomb.

[identity profile] clevermanka.livejournal.com 2013-09-06 01:00 pm (UTC)(link)
OH MY GOD.

I'm bored? Maybe I'm bored! HOLY CRAP.

I know this sounds stupid, but I'm so not ever bored that it never occurred to me that it might not be my eating disorder issues. MAYBE I'M JUST BORED.

Thank you so much, bb! This puts a different light on things! It doesn't change how I'm going to fix the problem, but it makes me feel less panicked about it. *hug*hug*hug*hug*hug*

Image

[identity profile] alryssa.livejournal.com 2013-09-06 10:54 pm (UTC)(link)
You're welcome? LOL. Totally unintentional there, but I'm glad to have been helpful ^_^

[identity profile] aprilstarchild.livejournal.com 2013-09-17 04:13 am (UTC)(link)
THAT VIDEO IS THE CUTEST AAAAUGH

[identity profile] clevermanka.livejournal.com 2013-09-17 12:59 pm (UTC)(link)
How can he be so cute and so dirty at the same time?