A new goal

[clevermanka]

This is a very interesting and very NSFW commentary on bodies. From the description: Illusions of the Body was made to tackle the supposed norms of what we think our bodies are supposed to look like. Most of us realize that the media displays only the prettiest photos of people, yet we compare ourselves to those images. We never get to see those photos juxtaposed against a picture of that same person looking unflattering. That contrast would help a lot of body image issues we as a culture have.

It's a fitting concept for me as I finish what could be seen as I'm addressing as the failed goal of getting myself healthier in 2013. I learned a lot this year. I'm muscularly stronger than I was at the beginning of the year. I'm more accepting of my imperfect body. But am I overall healthier? Definitely not. I've had occasional upward spikes of health, but overall the trend since 2012 has most definitely been downward. The swelling issues are consistent and the Bad Days (where my belly winds up sticking out farther than my boobs) happen at least once a week instead of a couple times a month. My energy levels have more spikes (upward as well as downward). The insomnia is most certainly worse. So yeah, that goal? Not achieved. Can't say I didn't do my best, though.

For 2014, I'm documenting the minutia. I'll keep a journal with the following for every day:
Bedtime
Waking time
If I took all my supplements
If I ate anything not Whole30, note it
Energy levels for morning and afternoon
Type of exercise

Don't worry, I won't be posting all this on LJ.

I'm also doing a Whole30 for January and am considering doing a year-long Whole30 process where I do thirty days on, then take one day off, thirty days on, etc. It sounds daunting, but eating like I do now would have sounded daunting when I was still eating a standard diet.

So here's to my 2014 goal of Becoming More Informed and Educated about my body. If that goal isn't achieved, I have only myself to blame.

Comments

[zitronenhai.livejournal.com]

Go you. I will be doing something somewhat similar.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I look forward to hearing about your progress!

[msmitti.livejournal.com]

That is daunting, but the orderliness should surely reveal some pattern somewhere.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Oh god, I hope so.

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

Are you going to use any sort of program for your documentation? I'm looking at some right now and comparing benefits/adaptations.

I really had hoped you'd have been further along healthwise this year as well.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Nah, I'm just writing it all down in my planner.

YOU AND ME BOTH.

[the-lucky-nun.livejournal.com]

I really like what Gracie is doing with those pictures. It sucks that we've all internalized these messages about how we fail to live up to this idealized image of how the human body is supposed to look. I hate that I have to stop and think before I spit out an apology about my body as I'm getting dressed or undressed in front of Nick (his response is generally, "w00t! floor show!"). I'm more kind and forgiving of his body than I am of my own, and that's bullshit.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Serious bullshit. I feel like I've given the finger to everything else society tells me I should be but this is THE LAST HURDLE, you know? Accepting our own bodies. Should be so simple. But no.

[kazoogrrl.livejournal.com]

The photos remind me of a book from 10 -15 years ago, all black and white nude self portraits of women. I remember flipping through it while working at the bookstore, and being amazed as the variety of bodies. I also wondered how the women who were not "beautiful" had the bravery to do the project.

I would like to see pictures of the same people doing less dramatic poses, just casual almost freeze frame type pictures.

Best of luck on your 2014 goal! I'm thinking of when to start a Whole30, maybe mid-Jan to mid-Feb.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Oooo! Good luck on your own Whole30!

I also wondered how the women who were not "beautiful" had the bravery to do the project.

Maybe they didn't see themselves as not beautiful?

[kazoogrrl.livejournal.com]

Or that even if they had their doubts/insecurities it was important for them to do it.

This was when I was in my early 20s when I was a lot harder on myself. Seeing women, who resembled me more than models and popular images, being naked made me slightly in awe of them because I considered my physical self to be so flawed (and, therefore inherently thought bodies like mine to also be flawed). At the time I never would have had the guts to do something like that.

I'm reminded of how I wish I'd started bellydancing earlier in life, except I never ever would have felt comfortable enough to try it at an earlier age. It wasn't until my late 20s that I finally got tired of putting limitations on myself because of the way I look.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Good for you! Yay!