Systemic

[clevermanka]

There's some fucking (male) creep in the hallway outside my office who is eating a bag of potato chips and offering some to every woman that walks by. I don't know for sure that he isn't offering any to men, but I've seen him do this before, in a different part of the building and he never says anything to guys as they pass. He offered me some food once, after I had a chance to observe his behavior while I walked down the hall, and I gave him one of my infamous ugly-angry stares.

It makes me so angry because there is nothing I can do. He's not being overtly malicious, or calling after anyone, or doing anything untoward, so what can I say? "Hey, dude, what you're doing is uncomfortable-making, please stop?" Yeah, and then I have to engage with him and explain (probably) why he's being a fucking creep. Which, no. For many reasons, no. Plus, he's in a wheelchair, which makes the situation just that much more impossible.

This is on top of the fact that I had the following interaction with a douchebag on FB earlier today. He found me through someone else and I figured she's pretty okay so I friended him back (MISTAKE) and then this happened. I'm not bothering to fuzz out his name, because seriously, Fuck This Guy.



And I know I'm preaching to the choir, here, but this? THIS is why women hate/fear men. This is why I just can't with men in general most of the time. This is why I am sometimes heard to say things like "GAH! MEN SUCK!" Although more often it's just "People Suck." This is why, despite the fact that I have a wonderful, loving, supportive, and understanding partner in mckitterick, sometimes I just need WOMAN-ONLY SPACE. Because this shit is my life. It's the life of every woman walking the planet today. Some of us have it more, some of us have it less, but all women deal with a form of misogyny every day. Every God Damned Day.

And buddy, let me tell you--if you're not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. And it's an ugly, ugly problem.

Comments

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

Ahroo?!

:peers at you again:

BWAAAAHAHAHAH! Gawddammit, you're supposed to be flattered that he finds you attractive and that makes it all okay, right?

Yeh.. I was staring at your tits cos they're so great and you should enjoy me doing that, huh?

Dropkick. Curb.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Dropkick. Curb. STOMP.

[seascribe.livejournal.com]

I do hate men, unapologetically, and with few exceptions (most of those come with caveats, anyway). I have zero patience for them. And as frustrating as my program is, at least it's 95% women, and the only men I have to interact with in any real capacity are my aphasia professor and patients, where I'm in charge. Thank god for that, I could not deal with what housemate does everyday, which is go into a mostly male medical school classroom and have to confront their bullshit constantly.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

a mostly male medical school classroom and have to confront their bullshit constantly.

[msmitti.livejournal.com]

I hate that so many men just don't get it. It's like talking to a fricking brick wall about some stuff. And the turning it back on whoever is explaining the problem is crazymaking.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

It's like talking to a fricking brick wall about some stuff.

Yeah, a DANGEROUS brick wall that can do you actual, physical harm. UGH.

[solan-t.livejournal.com]

JFC on a pogo stick. But they all seem to learn they can 'win' by attacking back and then they don't have to change.

[zitronenhai.livejournal.com]

But they all seem to learn they can 'win' by attacking back and then they don't have to change.

^^This.

[gansje.livejournal.com]

Yep.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

YEP.

[apocalypticbob.livejournal.com]

Immediately above this post on my friend's page is a post from another woman frustrated because Neil Gaiman defended the choice of Hugo awards host (which has since been changed) because the chosen host was a shock comedian who is rather infamous for his misogynistic jokes and body shaming. Said friend went on to describe the really shitty things she's had happen to her at sci- fi cons, which I completely believe, because I've had similar happen at cons and ren fests.

Until men stop letting other men get away with this bullshit, because "he's a great guy otherwise," or "it's just a joke," it will never stop.

Argh! I am full of impotent rage and really just want to beat 90% of men with a giant rubber dildo. Be a dick, get beaten with one. That's my new motto.

Awesome.

[mckitterick.livejournal.com]

Be a dick, get beaten with one. That's my new motto.

We need T-shirts to be worn at all events where clueless dudes congregate.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Neil Gaiman lost my respect when he hooked up with Amanda Palmer who is so problematic I can't even see her from here. His response surprises me NOT AT ALL.

[zitronenhai.livejournal.com]

Neil Gaiman lost my respect when he hooked up with Amanda Palmer...

Same here.

[hdsqrl.livejournal.com]

I had an experience last night that you can add to your collection: I've spent this week hanging out with 2 guys who are also non-Tokyo peeps. Both are 100% respectful and cool and we've gotten along SO WELL. Last night, one of them asked what sports I play. None. Oh, what sports do you watch? None.

His next line had me wanting to punch him in the throat: "Typical woman."

Dude, you just lost every single brownie point you'd earned this week.

[mckitterick.livejournal.com]

Makes me a typical woman, too, I guess. Maybe there's another T-shirt I need to wear.

[hdsqrl.livejournal.com]

Right??? I took at least a small bit of comfort in the knowledge that I kicked his ass this week in the world of IT, heh. ;) ALL HIS BASE ARE BELONG TO ME.

ALL YOUR NUTS

[mckitterick.livejournal.com]

(http://mckitterick.tumblr.com/post/78887333726)

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

His next line had me wanting to punch him in the throat: "Typical woman."

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

That is my favorite Action flick scene evah.

[1-rhiannon-1.livejournal.com]

Creepy dude is creepy and asshat dude is asshat. It's not even kind of a compliment to ask one's ethnicity. I actually had someone do something very similar to that out loud in my shop one day - my jaw dropped. I was so shocked, I blurted out "I cannot believe you just did that!!' The person in question wasn't offended, or didn't seem to be, but I was flabbergasted!

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I mean, I don't have to deal with that sort of thing very often because I'm white. However, I do get asked it a few times a year because I do have very un-American features. I used to answer "Spanish, Irish and German," but now I just say something offensive because fuck that.

[zitronenhai.livejournal.com]

God DAMN these guys are SO FUCKING GROSS. And that second one is a pretentious motherfucker, to boot. He creates bullshit and inspires rage, I will give him that.

[apocalypticbob.livejournal.com]

Love this!!

[mckitterick.livejournal.com]

You just killed me *ded*

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

ANGRY MOTHERFUCKING FISTBUMP SISTER

[theoneinblue.livejournal.com]

Awesome. I totally used that clip in teaching my class last semester.

[pointoforigin.livejournal.com]

Oh, you can preach this all day, sister. In what universe is it a compliment to ask your ethnicity? In what universe is zeroing in on your physical appearance--and doing so in a creepy, bordering on racist fashion--the way to "make a friend"? Oh, that's right--in the asshat universe. No, all he does is not "create, inspire, survive and hope." He also aggravates, astonishes, and makes people (and by that I do mean women) feel a need to mentally reach for something that will explode with considerable force. Also, way to whine narcissistically when someone lets him know politely that what he did was not acceptable. Oh, mercy me. This is why we can't have nice things.

[mckitterick.livejournal.com]

Why don't we live in a universe where we can pause time to formulate responses like the one you suggest here?

I would call this universe:

WHERE ASSHATS ALL SHRIVEL AND DIE

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I am so god damned tired of Asshat Universe I can't even tell you.

way to whine narcissistically when someone lets him know politely that what he did was not acceptable

Gurl, I almost unleashed a can of my verbal whoop-ass on him to show him EXACTLY how "unbeluevable" I can be. But I thought my time would be better served ranting about him instead of at him.

[msmitti.livejournal.com]

"my time would be better served ranting about him instead of at him"
Sadly, this is true. He still thinks he was right and that you were unbeluevable.

[mckitterick.livejournal.com]

Plus this way you entertain us all.

I think that's what Facebook does best: provide trolls to mock.

[gansje.livejournal.com]

What, you don't like being marginalized, exoticized and sexualized? What's wrong with you? Can't you see I'm a Nice Guy? You women, you only want the jerks who take you to nice places and wine and dine you but don't try to explore your character as it is your life! Or to inspire, survive and hope you!

Seriously, the whole, "let me be totally insensitive to you as a woman and to human beings in general, and then tell you that you've offended my intelligent, informed, enlightened self when you protest my shittiness" dynamic that many men hide behind as an excuse pisses me right the hell off. It's indicative of a complete inability to understand that others are full human beings with feelings, not objects to be picked up, played with, and discarded later when one is bored. It's a form of gaslighting, and it's plain dismissive of the other person's intelligence and ability to interpret discourse. Pisses me. Right the hell. Off. We are human beings, god dammit, not future lays.

Oh trust me, we are not future lays, dude.

And why do these guys also not know how to spell, type or compose a coherent sentence? What the f*(# does "typative" mean, anyway? Also, "as genuine as the come" made my inner 13-year old go, "ewwwwwww..."

(Edited for increased clarity, and to not stick myself in the same "typative" category. I swear, that's my new word from now on in!)

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

THIS. All of THIS. So much THIS.

[msmitti.livejournal.com]

well said.

[blessedrelease.livejournal.com]

What kills me is he left that conversation feeling superior.

I bet he thought it was okay because he didn't ask "what are you?" and opened up about his (could he be any whiter?) ethnicity. How dare you not reciprocate?

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Exactly, on all counts. He gets to exit the conversation feeling like he won because I don't have the time, energy, or inclination to fight with him, and he still thinks it was a perfectly appropriate question.

YOUR PRIVILEGE LET ME SHOW YOU IT

[theoneinblue.livejournal.com]

I...hate that question. "What are you?". Not what you think I am, which is flattered by your interest.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Ha ha ha ha!!! ON THE NOSE, Sister.

[orrin.livejournal.com]

"unbeluevable"

I know that there are serious subjects here, I know there are, but I'm just going to leave that "word" there. That's pretty much where my brain got stuck.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Dude, wasn't that so unbeluevably THIN?

[orrin.livejournal.com]

The thinnest.

[mckitterick.livejournal.com]

I could hardly beluev how much so.

[alryssa.livejournal.com]

What a fucking moron.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

WE ARE SURROUNDED.

[alryssa.livejournal.com]

I just can't seem to get away from it, and then people act so surprised and offended that I have no patience for it. Uh, how about no, I do not want to spend hours out of my day going out of my way to be 'nice' and 'educate' you, I have a life of my own to get on with, especially since 9 times out of 10 the person in question requiring education won't even listen anyway.

[fairgoldberry.livejournal.com]

"My ethnicity? Oh, my family hails from Kickyourassistan. Let me sing you the beatdown of my people. Come closer. I don't think you can hear it from there."

Much love,
Rowan

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

[fairgoldberry.livejournal.com]

*squee*