7,800 Swings

[clevermanka]

All my fine and fancy talk about not quitting with the 300 Swing Challenge was for naught. I'm throwing in the towel.

Yesterday I had to split up my last set of fifty into two twenty-fives because my legs were shaking. When I got home from work I was so tired I could barely do my Absolutely Must Be Done Tasks (slice flank steak and set to marinade for jerky for 221B Con, put in a load of laundry so the stain in one of mckitterick's shirts didn't set, put dirty dishes in dishwasher). We went out for burger salads (there was no way I was able to cook) and by the time we got home my big-size jeans were so uncomfortably tight I had to unfasten them (button and zipper) just so I could sit down on the couch. By the time 9:30 rolled around, I was getting my second wind and had to force myself to go to bed. This morning I was so physically weary (although somewhat mentally alert) I had to force myself to get up.

Any one of those things hints at adrenal fatigue, but all put together they practically scream it. Maybe if I wasn't getting ready for a near-week-long trip away from home (my first one in, like, five years) I might push myself to finish out the thirty days, but under the current circumstances I can't. Continuing is not the responsible thing to do. It's not respectful to my body and it's not fair to my buddies I'll be hanging with next week. I don't want to be dragging and exhausted at the con and I don't want to set myself back another several months health-wise.

I am SO ANGRY about this. So frustrated. So ... sad.



NGL, I cried last night when I made the decision to give up.

I'm also telling Andrew that I'll be taking the next week off. That'll be three weeks in a row of not meeting with him. Scary thought--and a little depressing--but it's for the best. I'll at least have the time to incorporate focused yoga sessions several times a week.

Maybe I'll try the 300 Swings next March.

Comments

[ms-danson.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope the outcome is a good trip and an easy(ish) recovery.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Me, too.

I keep telling myself that this isn't my body betraying me. This is just my body doing the best it can do right now.

[ms-danson.livejournal.com]

It sounds like you are communicating quite well with your body right now.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

I failed much sooner and much harder than you did; you kicked a whole lot of ass, and I will have strong, disapproving words for any part of your brain that dares to call you names for being smart about your health.

Enjoy the con. Avoid the crud. Narfle the Garthok. And any 30-day month can be a kettlebooty challenge if you decide to.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm not beating myself up about it. I realize this is the right thing to do. I'm just angry at the circumstances.

FUCKING CIRCUMSTANCES.

[kazoogrrl.livejournal.com]

Well dammit, the fact that you feel crappy pisses me off. And as a completest I know how frustrating it is not to finish something.

On the other hand, damn, look at what you did accomplish, it's awesome! I'm just happy to get in some push ups every couple of days.

Omchantress was talking Tues about how she didn't believe in adrenal fatigue except all signs point to that's what's making her feel like total crapola and she's working to get it figured out. Bodies. WTH?

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

she didn't believe in adrenal fatigue

[indicolite.livejournal.com]

My sympathies. Hold on!

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Holding!

[hdsqrl.livejournal.com]

I am sending you lion hugs, because it's clear they understand everything. EVERYTHING. Just look at those lions.

Aww.

<3

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

[saffronhare.livejournal.com]

GAHK. This is me, being no good at knowing what to say. But I'm pretty good at holding a punching bag. And you're going to rock next week.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

mckitterick and I should pick up punching things again.

[seascribe.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

Once in a while, bodies fail even the most impressive physical specimens.

[mckitterick.livejournal.com]

Re: Once in a while, bodies fail even the most impressive physical specimens.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

That gif will never fail to make me feel better.

[sherwood21.livejournal.com]

BOO for adrenal fatigue. The circumstances are lame, and I am sorry for them. I hope you get rested and feeling better for 221Bcon, and have an awesome time there!

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Thank you, bb!

At some point, when we're both home from our trips, we oughta commune over another glass of wine.

[redheadfae.livejournal.com]

I'm really relieved for you. I don't want to see you set back when you try so hard.

New Normal sucks.

Restorative yoga kitty lubs you:

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Aw, two kitty pic responses, now! You all do love me.

[pointoforigin.livejournal.com]

Oh, I am so sorry, and so with you on the frustration of having to change course. It's NOT "giving up," or "quitting" because you don't do that! You just made a good, evidence-based, self-caring decision to pursue fitness in a different way for now. And I totally agree with your earlier commenter who said that you "kicked a whole lot of ass."

Also sending sympathy and solidarity with the Hashimoto's problem. My sister had a thyroid problem that resembled Hashimoto's more than anything else, and ended up having to get half her thyroid removed because it was making her so sick. That was after ten years of being treated as if she was mentally ill and didn't really have any problems that she couldn't have just sucked up and dealt with. I still seethe and want to kill somebody when I think about what she went through. Ugh.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Oh my gosh, your poor sister.

Thank you for the supportive words. I've received some very kind and encouraging comments on the 300 Swings FB group, too. I'm feeling better about the decision itself, even if I'll never be happy about the fact that I had to make it.

[gansje.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry, I know it meant a lot to you. It's better for you to recover and heal, though, just as you said. Sending hugs through the interwebz...

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Thank you!