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I was just informed by a very kind soul that something happened (of course it did) with a link I used in the pitch post for this week’s Rec Center. To access Solo’s Guardian subtitles, please go here and/or check out this information post on Dreamwidth for how to use them.

Intro Post

Jan. 1st, 2025 12:00 pm
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I just realized with some new people following me here (thank you Guardian fandom y'all are gr8!) I should maybe put up a little intro post?

Putting this under a cut... )
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I'm making this a sticky post because I'm already tired of scrolling through my Guardian tag to get to it

As I continue to accumulate resources for This Fucking Show, I need somewhere to keep them other than in my Gmail drafts folder. So this post is mostly for my own resources but please please please feel free to hit me up with any others in comments.

Cut to save y'all's reading pages.  )
I'll continue to add to this post as I come across stuff. I get the feeling I might be in this fandom for a while. ETA:  Oh I'm definitely gonna be in this fandom for a while
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Twitter:
Fanart: can anyone translate this domestic scene? A laughing happy sketch.
In yesterday's meltdown over Zhu Yilong's ReFa ads, people might've missed out on these lovely pics of Bai Yu.

The ReFa ads finally made it to Tumblr. Speaking of the ReFa ads, here's a new pitch to get people into Guardian.

My hair looked real good yesterday. That's about five days post-wash and putting hand cream in it every other morning.

In fantastic news, my friend from China that I haven't heard from in several months emailed me. She's in town! She left China right before travel restrictions hit and sequestered herself until she felt she likely wasn't infected. Poor thing! We have a lunch date for next Friday. I can't wait to see her and I hope I don't squash her with massive hugs (she's like half my size, seriously not even exaggerating).

Two of the promised art cards went out yesterday to [personal profile] naye and [personal profile] jo_lasalle . I hope to be able to make the others in the next couple weeks.

Fifth chapter of Ghost Story went up this morning. It's a big one, y'all. A lot happens and it's 13k words, so... settle in, I guess. Also, thanks to a discussion on Twitter, I've added the rape/non-con major archive warning to the fic.
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This week's dump on cm.net.

Twitter:
This is it, friends, this is how I died. (along with most of my Twitter feed)
Fanart: I'm not sure what's going on, but I'm here for it. Because of my unfortunate exposure to Mannerism at a difficult time of my life* I'm not a fan of elongated limbs, etc., but this kiss is so tender I can't not share it.

*Okay that's a complete lie. I just hate it. HATE Mannerism. Absolutely my least favorite style of ~realistic~ art and it physically pains me that it took place during what is otherwise my favorite art period (Renaissance and Southern Baroque FTW). I would rather spend a semester studying Picasso and/or Dali than *shudder* Mannerism. and that's saying something.

Untamed:
I love all the Nie Huaisang fake interviews.

I'll avoid posting too much about the U.S. election (ugh), but I saw this quote from Tuesday's Democratic debates and I gotta say I don't hate the idea of a Sanders/Warren ticket. There's some advantages, including Warren being well situated to run next time. This is my trying to be optimistic, which always bites me in the ass so tbh idk why I'm even trying.

Gonna admit something that might make me sound like a monster but I have never experienced this level of love/devotion for anyone and tbh at this point I don't expect to. But there is nothing I love more than reading about characters (or people) who do. I just really love the idea of love. I am told this is not unusual for Aquarius and although I scoff at the idea that personalities are affected by such things, I can't deny the descriptions are often pretty accurate for me. *emoji shrug*
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Twitter:
So Tender!
Fanart: Domestic bliss. Portraits. Wrist kiss. Tongue! I still want a Guardian Inception AU instead of a Zhubai one but I will never not love these.
Love how we're all falling apart (in various ways) over those ReFa ~face massager~ ads.
Zhu Yilong lookin' good in suits again.
"Packing your stuff for a house move and finding an old picture you took w ur first boyfriend 10 yrs ago. Wondering how he is, if he’s married, if he ever got his dream job, if he ever thinks about you on rainy Saturdays" *insert crying emoji here*
Why aren't we writing Shen Wei biting his nails? I need to correct that immediately. It's a terrible habit, but such a good tell for otherwise hidden stress. *looks for where to insert nail-biting in Deconstruction*

Untamed:
Actor Training!
Never over this performance, tho, srsly.

Thanks go to [personal profile] bonibaru for retweeting general fandom things like:
Why people like slow burns.
and
Resonant asks for "a story that has multiple sex scenes and does a good job of having each one do something a little bit different."
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Twitter:
So Tender!
Fanart: Domestic bliss. Portraits. Wrist kiss. I still want a Guardian Inception AU instead of a Zhubai one but I will never not love these.
Love how we're all falling apart (in various ways) over those ReFa ~face massager~ ads.
Zhu Yilong lookin' good in suits again.
"Packing your stuff for a house move and finding an old picture you took w ur first boyfriend 10 yrs ago. Wondering how he is, if he’s married, if he ever got his dream job, if he ever thinks about you on rainy Saturdays" *insert crying emoji here*

Why people like slow burns.

Finally got to THE KISSING in Deconstruction yesterday. As I noted on Twitter, it took 31,059 words of hurt to get there, but they got there! \o/ [personal profile] mckitterick asked me why I didn't think it counted as a slow burn and I was like, well, it's thirty thousand words, but it's only been like three and a half days in story time. I'm just really putting the guys through it. Poor Shen Wei!

Music

Feb. 24th, 2020 10:31 am
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Found via [personal profile] bonibaru [personal profile] lilly_the_kid is asking for vids that convinced you to watch a show. Go pitch your recruitment vids!

I find a lot of new music via fanvids, and I'd love to know what bands/albums/songs others discovered thanks to fanvids. Please share your music finds, as well as (if you remember) what vid used it. Or, you know, if you've got a killer song for a character-themed playlist, I'm certainly not gonna turn that down.

For anyone interested, I have a ton of playlists on YouTube (including one just for Angst) and I recently duplicated my Guardian playlists on Spotify. All the Guardian-related playlists except the 5/20 and 6/13 celebration ones are continual works in progress. If you like the stuff in those, you might check back every month or so to check for updates.

Found a new song to add to Deconstruction writing playlist this morning! Really love me my Music Feels, y'all.
clevermanka: (hugo award winner)

How much do I want to be at Escapade, basking in the energy of people jumping into Guardian and History 3 Trapped? A LOT. I want it A LOT.

Twitter:
Fanart: Chibi Brady Bunch. Zhao Yunlan pulls a Hey Sailor on Hei Lao Ge.
Why oh why didn't I write Ghost Story's Zhao Yunlan with glasses? If I could change ONE thing about the story, that would be it.
Zhu Yilong, sir, this look is a good look.

I don't share the Henry Cavill thirst, but I'm loving the tweets of people who are questioning their sexuality because of him.

ALERT ALERT there's a new dS vid from sisabet that will rip out your heart in the most beautifully horrible way.

Put off reading Brianne Benness's TED talk/essay about chronic illness until I felt I could deal with it. Turns out I still can't--not enough to respond to it yet, anyway, but it's good and important and if you know anyone with a chronic illness (or, unfortunately, have one yourself), I can't recommend it enough. "Many chronic illnesses are unlikely to take your life but incredibly likely to take you away from the life you love." Truth fuckin' hurts, yo. Ooof.

Onto happier things (which... pretty telling when "happier things" include a hurt/comfort fic that is nearly 29k words already and pretty darn sparse on the comfort). Ugh. Anyway. Not as momentous as last week's THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED snippet, but Shen Wei is SITTING ON IT at least:

"Ah, Shen Wei,” Zhao Yunlan mumbled, eyes still closed. “So much better when you’re in bed with me.”

Zhao Yunlan’s eyes flew open at Shen Wei’s gasp and he snatched his hand back. Shen Wei mourned the loss, disappointed but relieved. A ghost of the touch still lingered, tingling under the pajama fabric. Shen Wei wanted those fingers on him again, splayed across his hips, tracing under his waistband, pressing against him, inside him. He breathed in, slow and steady, and reached for the breakfast tray. 

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Twitter:
Pecs pecs pecs. The thumb movement. And blink. His shoulders. Breeze catching his hair. yes I bookmarked this shut up. Is that a hint of beard shadow? please say yes
For comparison/contrast: Bai Yu (ver. 1) and Bai Yu (ver. 2). I know I've posted version 2 here before and I probably will again.
Fanart: Hurt/Comfort. Chibi sweetness.
I'm really enjoying the full-length views here.

Untamed:
My Baby Boy.
For my Jiang Cheng loving friends.
Somehow I always forget Wei Wuxian actually says this. omg Lan Zhan's look.

I love this Horny/Tender/Feral Venn diagram for astrological houses even though it's absolutely wrong for me (Aquarius). *insert joke about not having a tender bone in my body* I think other Aquarians agree with me because there's not a single reply that mentions Aquarius (as of this posting anyway).

Found the Arab trap station on Spotify and am... really missing bellydance right now. Love that western dancers have such readily available sources of appropriate performance music, now, though. GOOD FOR THEM!

This LitHub piece makes me...ugh, idk. I hate being a hater, but otoh I'm an asshole by nature and this made me roll my eyes so hard:
Have you ever listened to one of your favorite albums on repeat, gotten lost in the sweeping, cinematic feel of it, knew it so well that you began picturing it as a narrative, filled in the details missing from the music, and then realized the story you were telling was almost fully independent of the album that sparked it, and then wrote that story down and published it?

It's called songfic, y'all. And certain populations have been doing it for free for a long time. But of course, you know, it's just fanfic. *hrmf*

I will be over this (and myself) tomorrow, but today I am tired and grumpy because I did something I wanted to do (poured lotion bars) in addition to what I had to do (grocery shopping and food prep) and now I am crashed on the couch for the rest of the day.

Maybe I'll get some writing done at least. But first I owe [personal profile] glymr an email... *rubs hands as energetically as possible under the circumstances*

Pour it up

Feb. 21st, 2020 06:46 am
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Twitter:
This is SW and ZYL's second meeting, I think? And omg ZYL already has it so bad.
They 100% deserve each other.
Bai Yu. Screen door. Hurricane. I AM TELLING YOU.
Listening to Flying through Time, now. AGAIN.
That ass, those thighs. Eternal blessings on Guardian's wardrobe department, for real.
Zhu Yilong's L'Oreal interview at Cannes really was a delight.
Inordinately pleased that I wasn't the only one all #WEILAN! at this Foxes in Love comic.

Ghost Story's fourth chapter is up and I'm real excited to see what people think of this one.


I'm gonna try making lotion bars today because I am tired of buying body cream. Winter is brutal on my skin and I usually have a stockpile of these ready to go in the freezer, but I... well, I didn't make more when I ran out late last season and I'm suffering, y'all.

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Twitter:
Bai Yu writing calligraphy in 2017 and guess what he writes?
Fanart: Kisses. Adorable Zhao Yunlan. Domestic bliss (this inspired a second grocery-shopping scene in Deconstruction)
Never over the Harper's Bazaar photoshoot. (also Toot! Toot! The face of a man who just gave a very satisfying blow job and the face of the man who received it.)
Thank you, Guardian, for giving me a glasses kink.
This hairstyle on Zhu Yilong. (basically SFW porn)
Apparently there was a goth themed Weilan wedding cake at the Guardian Open Broadcast Conference.
The difference between Zhu Yilong's casual arrival at Cannes vs. his cultivated personality on the red carpet. Obvs the slow motion and camera angles help, but wow.
Welp, guess it's time to listen to Flying Across Time again.
Real Question for Writers: How would you describe the mouth/jaw action happening after The Smirk, here? I love Bambi Shen Wei a whole lot, but I'm finally getting the chance to write Badass Shen Wei and I need to know how to convey this ~mood~

Untamed:
I kept forgetting to ask here, so thanks to this thread that I know why Lan Zhan had a Wen clan burn scar.
A perfect gif of my perfect baby boy.

This week's dump on cm.net.

I forgot my power cord at home this morning and my laptop battery is only good for about two hours. So very little writing happened at the coffee shop this morning which sucked because I'm eager to write the two upcoming scenes before Kissing Happens. whine
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Twitter:
Fanart: Shen Wei wakes in the night.
A beautiful Zhu Yilong thread of gifs containing Zhu Yilong being beautiful.
This person was tweeting about Guardian back in September but I hadn't seen any of them. Two of my favorites:
If you watch ANY of the episodes of Guardian and drink a shot everytime Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei look at each other you will end up in the hospital.
That feeling when you are very seclusive and had to shake hand with a stranger.
Yes, I do have a gun kink in addition to my smoking kink and yes I did bookmark that gif.
How about we all take another look at Zhu Yilong perusing the fridge with his back muscles displayed in high relief. Or the beloved ponytail softly swaying in a breeze.

Untamed:
Remember I said I loved modern/mundane AUs? <3
I'm here for this Nie Huaisang/Jiang Cheng fic.

Got an email from the Herbalism Program instructor (should I start referring to her as HPI? or should I just use her real name, idk, it's a pretty distinctive name...) and I'm starting to get anxious. She's (obviously ) an outdoorsy person and (obviously) most of these people are outdoorsy people as well and you all know I am not an outdoorsy person. At all. Large chunks of my life passed where I literally only went out of doors to 1) get to work, and 2) smoke. And now I don't do either of those things, so... ergh. I can't deny a little bit of anxiety over knowing I'm going to be spending so much time out of doors. I mean, I knew, but it hadn't sunk in until I read the words "Our agenda that first day will start with introductions, maybe outdoors" and this is for the last Saturday of March. Y'all, back when I smoked, I didn't even smoke outside until April.

I gotta buy some different clothes for this. Fuck.

Fatigue lifted sufficiently to touch up my roots today. This was supposed to happen on Saturday. Since I'm allergic to black hair dye (whoo, there's a story), I regularly put myself through the six hour ordeal of a henna and indigo two-step process. It looks great and I get compliments on my hair all the time, but it's Some Work. Oh, vanity.

Got another 500 words of Deconstruction down yesterday, despite Monday's writing marathon. I just...really needed to reconnect with my guys in that story? LOLOL omg I've become one of Those Writers and while I'm not embarrassed or apologetic, I am amused. (also, Shen Wei's about at the nadir of his emotional journey in this fic and ngl it's pretty horrible fun to write)

ETA: I've been coloring my hair with henna+indigo two step for over a decade and I think I've got it pretty well down. If anyone ever wants suggestions on using henna and/or henna and indigo to color their hair, please feel free to ask!

Porn Day!

Feb. 18th, 2020 12:09 pm
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Okay so before we talk about anything else, y'all need to know [personal profile] glymr gifted me with a Mechanic AU tweetfic (ThreadReader option). This fic, I'm telling you, THIS FIC. I read a bit of it while I was taking a lunch break from my own Porn Day project and even though they hadn't yet got down to business, I was hooked. Finally got to read the whole thing after I sent my fic for a quick SPAG check (thanks, [personal profile] kazoogrrl, you're a gem!) and IT WAS SO GOOD. Just, go, go! *shoos* Read it! Immediately, of course, I had a headcanon for the Envoy character and I'm going to be writing that up and sending it to glymr in hopes of  inspiring her to write more. Or maybe co-write? idk! the idea is tantalizing, but... *looks at bunny pile* Anyway. I've been wanting that Mechanic AU for ages, now, and this was just lovely and so unexpected!

A massive thank you to [personal profile] glymr for organizing Porn Day and giving me a gift for it! Makes me VERY happy I decided to go for it and submit my own piece for the day.

Writing that many words in 24 hours was Something, let me tell you. Hilariously, I'm pretty sure I'd only be capable of writing that much porn in a day. Took me 2 hours to write the first 400 words or so and the rest of it (all 4k some) happened over fourteen hours on Monday. Unemployment sure can be handy. Someone tagged it "partially successful edging" in their bookmark note and that cracks my shit up. Yes, I absolutely cheated the ending by making Zhao Yunlan (uh, spoiler?) unable to continue much longer either because it was (I thought) two hours to deadline and I needed to wrap up the damn fic already. So, yeah, bookmarker--You're Not Wrong. XD

Oh, yeah, and I totally did the math wrong between the countdown timer and my own clock, so I shortchanged myself an hour for the actual deadline. *emoji shrug*

[personal profile] mckitterick, whom I must give credit for encouraging me to go for it, as well as allowing me the financial resources to, you know, not be employed so I could actually pull this off, pushed back on my firm stance to not revise it. If I find a typo, sure, but I know there are some wording choices I might not have kept, and some things I definitely would have added, given more time to cultivate the story. But I like the freedom of leaving it as is. A sort of testament to what I accomplished in 24 hours. That said, if anyone ever podfics it, I'd like to provide them a version that at least doesn't have things like the same word used too many times too close together, etc. Maybe I should mention that in the story notes...
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Twitter:
This back view is so... tender? 
Fanart: Bite marks! Kissing/cuddling manips! No idea what's going on here, but I still laughed!

Don't know what fandom this is and it really doesn't matter (although enlighten me if you wanna) because hot boys lighting up over a shared flame YES PLEASE.

I've been looking for a reliable palak paneer recipe for a while and am looking forward to trying this one. Thank you, [personal profile] yantantether

Saw the Porn Day! squee all over my readlist yesterday and sighed sadly, knowing I wasn't up for it. Then around 8pm I mentioned it to [personal profile] mckitterick and he was all Well Why Aren't You and I was like Er, Fatigue Brain? and he came back with Well You Could At Least Try. So now I'm 2k into my first go at an edging fic but they just? now? are finally getting down to business? and there's only (checks countdown) ten hours left. So I'm not sure I'm gonna make the deadline. My brain tends to run out of steam after 1.5k in a day and I can feel the gears slowing even though I'm finally to The Good Stuff. Is there gonna be an amnesty option for this challenge? /o\
clevermanka: (hugo award winner)
I have no idea what happened, but fatigue hit me like a truck yesterday. It was bad. Like, it'd been gearing up I guess, but I really hoped my taking it easy most of last week would help. NOPE. A two hour nap was followed by a sobbing breakdown on the couch and y'all know how I feel about crying. Canceled the lunch date I had for today with someone I haven't seen in well over three years and have written off any notions of visiting my friend in New Orleans.

Pretty much barely functioning right now but I have the spoons for interacting with people on the internet (dogs bless y'all internet beloveds) and at least I can write a little bit. I'm holding onto both of those things pretty hard.

Zhao Yunlan stepped up the small rise onto the front porch while digging in his jacket pocket. He unlocked the door and disappeared into the darkness. Shen Wei forced himself to keep breathing and counted out the longest ninety seconds of his life. When Zhao Yunlan finally stepped back outside, his mouth was set in a firm line. He waived in a vaguely beckoning gesture, and Shen Wei stepped out onto their front lawn. Zhao Yunlan patted his shoulder as he passed by to open up the back of the jeep.

“This is gonna be interesting,” he muttered. He grabbed both their large suitcases.

Laden with an armful of groceries, Shen Wei followed him to the house. Crossing the threshold, the produce seemed to turn to lead and he nearly dropped everything from his numb hands. With the exception of the bathroom—he hoped that’s what was behind the one door, anyway—the structure consisted of a single room, with kitchen, sitting space, and sleeping area all within easy view of each other. A wooden ladder leading up to a small loft offered the sole hint of privacy. He swallowed. There was only one bed.


Either/Or

Feb. 15th, 2020 09:09 am
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Jumping on the A OR B in fic thingy. Clickity-click )

Raving

Feb. 15th, 2020 08:09 am
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Y'all. Y'ALL. [personal profile] ranalore wrote me the most incredible Untamed fic for a birthday present. I mentioned in a comment yesterday how I wasn't really reading much Wei Wuxian/Lan Zhan fic and BOY HOWDY now I don't need to read any more because this fic is so fuckin' amazing. It packs an incredible amount of heat and feels into fewer than 2k and absolutely rocked my world.

Appropriately, happy International Fanworks Day!

Forgot to mention the results of my Twitter poll yesterday. So, this poll taught me something other than 5% of the people who voted would not be so foolish as to consider using the word "succor" in a fic and that something is apparently, unlike on Dreamwidth polls, Twitter votes are private? Or am I just not seeing where the results are detailed...

And now, a rant! Just fuck the recording industry, for real. Let me tell you about being friends with the frontman of a band that allllllllllllmost made it big before getting screwed by their major record label.

So, the house where Ghost Story takes place. I lived there for seven years, nearly five of them with two dudes who lived in the upstairs apartment, Smirl and Ritchie (we already sound like a sitcom, don't we? god I miss them). Smirl was the front man for one of the more successful local bands of the 90s. And when I say "more successful" that's saying something bc Lawrence was considered the little Seattle of the music scene (this sounds so corny now but it really was a big deal). There's a reason I was going out three times a week to see local shows. It was amazing. Anyway, Smirl's band was called STICK and they were so good. I still listen to their albums (they're great workout music, too). They got signed to Arista and released their first CD. Arista gave them zero support, zero promotion, and then of course complained bitterly when the album didn't sell. When the label rejected every track on the second album, claiming "not a single hit" on it, they broke their contract and released it under an independent label. Two members left, then the band broke up for good. Arista didn't do well by another band with Lawrence members (BR5-49 for any alt-country fans) so yeah. That's just ONE label that fucked over two bands that I knew. File under I Hate Capitalism, y'all. I'm still bitter on STICK's behalf. BR at least had a good run. STICK was fucking robbed.
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Getting up early on Friday to post the next chapter of Ghost Story especially for [personal profile] naye because she might be able to read it during what's her afternoon is A Thing, now. <3

Twitter:
Fanart: Always here for kisses. Valentine's day rose. Rose petals with Weilan derivatives.
More roses.
If bondage is more your thing than flowers. If drinking's more your thing than either.
Behind the scenes gif that inspires serious body-swap feels.
A minute and twenty-three seconds of Zhu Yilong in a terrible haircut playing angsty piano.
What's the word for being turned on by someone wearing glasses? I never felt this way until Guardian.
Other things I never experienced until Guardian (besides the desire to write fic): The sensation of squishy lust upon seeing an object of desire with small children. The charm of adult men in baseball caps. The sexual appeal of long hair.

Untamed:
My baby boy's fan, y'all. oh god i love him so much

I am never unamused by how much I don't buy into astrology yet all the shitpost astrology stuff I see is usually on point for me (Aquarius).

On this day in 1992, more than half my life ago, I appeared in district court to finalize my legal name change. It was pouring rain and I didn't have an umbrella. I fell in the parking lot so I sat in the courtroom with soaking knees and wet hair. Mine was the first case called and I had no idea what to do, but my lawyer stood next to me, sweet and helpful. The court clerks must have liked me because they gave me five free extra copies of the court approval (they were supposed to cost $5 each). I still have two of them, folded and fading, in my file box of other papers that should probably be transferred to a safe.

I was born two weeks early on January 31, but I got my name on my due date. The charm of that has never faded for me. Happy February 14th, y'all, however you celebrate it.
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Wednesday's blahs were helped considerably by the fact that when the KC dentist vet's admin called to check on Miss Thing/Miette yesterday, the phone call went like this: Clicky click. )

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