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Behold the Jewel in the Lotus
May. 1st, 2006 10:19 amI thought I saw you last week, headed up the stairs to Strong Hall. She looked so much like you: tall, broad-shouldered, crazy-frizzy steel colored hair. She had your easy, loping gait and she carried her head high, without looking down at her feet. Of course I knew it wasn't you, but my heart stopped for a moment before my brain reminded me No.
You've been dead nearly two years now. It's been at least five years since I saw you for the last time. But I have your New Year cards, beautifully done with your newly-found calligraphy talent. I have your emails, full of descriptions of your first trip to India and your first thoughts of entering the monastery. I remember your first (and last) trip back here, before you took your vows. You're probably the only Buddhist nun I'll ever know.
I wish I'd taken time to visit you in Kyoto. I wish I'd been able to see your little garden behind the guest house at the monastery in India. I wish I had a photograph of us, because although you weren't conventionally attractive, you were beautiful to me. I wish I'd written when I didn't hear from you for so long. I wish I'd known you were sick. I wish your sister hadn't had to write us all that sad, terrible letter.
Last week when I thought I saw you, I knew I had to tell you about it. And this May Day, so bright and cheerful and full of hope, is the perfect day for it. You were a glorious spot of sun. I wish you could continue to shine in more than just memory.
Namaste, Cielan Chaney.
You've been dead nearly two years now. It's been at least five years since I saw you for the last time. But I have your New Year cards, beautifully done with your newly-found calligraphy talent. I have your emails, full of descriptions of your first trip to India and your first thoughts of entering the monastery. I remember your first (and last) trip back here, before you took your vows. You're probably the only Buddhist nun I'll ever know.
I wish I'd taken time to visit you in Kyoto. I wish I'd been able to see your little garden behind the guest house at the monastery in India. I wish I had a photograph of us, because although you weren't conventionally attractive, you were beautiful to me. I wish I'd written when I didn't hear from you for so long. I wish I'd known you were sick. I wish your sister hadn't had to write us all that sad, terrible letter.
Last week when I thought I saw you, I knew I had to tell you about it. And this May Day, so bright and cheerful and full of hope, is the perfect day for it. You were a glorious spot of sun. I wish you could continue to shine in more than just memory.
Namaste, Cielan Chaney.