This is not a memorial, just a memory

bestill's workshop yesterday was faboo. I look forward to more wonderfulness today. I got some good sleep last night, so everything is better today. Well, almost.

Fetish still is unwell. Last night when I got home, I cuddled with her in the upstairs green chair, which is her favorite perch. Her eyes were big and dark (stress) and she wasn't purring. But she let me put my arms around her and rest my forehead against hers. We stayed like that for a while and then she gave a little shudder. She did it again a couple times and I raised my head to look at her. She gave a big heave, squeaked a little, and rolled onto her back so I could rub her belly. It took that much energy just for her to move from her side to expose her belly for me. She must be in so much pain. I rubbed and rubbed and rubbed her chin and belly for a long time.

Then I went to bed and tried not to cry while I (re)told mckitterick stories about her when she was a little baby and so tiny and sweet. She insisted on sleeping with me, jumping hurdles and fighting her way under my bedroom door to lie down right across my neck, the very first night--just hours after I found her in the alley. Then she ate all my plants.

My baby girl kitten girl.

We get the blood test and x-ray results back tomorrow.