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Magic when you're all grown up
May. 19th, 2010 09:22 amI commented in someone's LJ yesterday about things I consider magical about being an adult. Here's what I said:
Arranging a spur-of-the-moment lunchtime hookup with my partner? Magical!
Waking up on Saturday morning and having the option of starting the day with champagne? Magical!
Being able to go to bed at 8pm or 2am, whichever I choose, any day of the week? Magical!
Never ever ever having to worry about finishing tomorrow's schoolwork for first period class? Magical!
Looking out at my overgrown and weedy backyard as the sunset shines through the bramble bushes between me and the alley, waiting for that moment of dusk when the birds settle in and the bats start to come out, sinking down into my ratty plastic lawn chair with a glass of wine and reminding myself that I am wholly my own person? Most magical thing ever.
I can see how some people might think that's pretty boring. But I was a child who didn't have that concept of "childhood wonder." I never believed in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, fairies, doors to other worlds, etc.
My mother says I was born forty years old. Here I was, this small person who didn't much care for other children, trapped in an environment over which I had little control, and with no means of realistically imagining escape. Of course it had to be realistic, otherwise what was the point? I read my share of fantasy stories and I loved fairy tales, but I enjoyed them more for the imagery and the grotesque than the escapism. I knew I wasn't going to find The Wardrobe because Narnia didn't exist. I think even then I was on an inevitable path to atheism. Because I don't know that I really believed in heaven or hell, despite being raised Christian since babyhood. Only the world that I could see around me or see in photographs was real to me. And if you couldn't show me an example, forget it. I took nothing on faith.
An aside: My poor parents!
But being in charge of my own life now, and as![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
_luaineach puts it, capable of choosing my own actions to cause and effect, life is full of so much more wonder and joy and magic. I am constantly amazed at the feeling I get when I realize that I'm free to make my own choices and take my own actions. And yes, knowing those actions have consequences, that is magical, too.
I love being an adult.
Arranging a spur-of-the-moment lunchtime hookup with my partner? Magical!
Waking up on Saturday morning and having the option of starting the day with champagne? Magical!
Being able to go to bed at 8pm or 2am, whichever I choose, any day of the week? Magical!
Never ever ever having to worry about finishing tomorrow's schoolwork for first period class? Magical!
Looking out at my overgrown and weedy backyard as the sunset shines through the bramble bushes between me and the alley, waiting for that moment of dusk when the birds settle in and the bats start to come out, sinking down into my ratty plastic lawn chair with a glass of wine and reminding myself that I am wholly my own person? Most magical thing ever.
I can see how some people might think that's pretty boring. But I was a child who didn't have that concept of "childhood wonder." I never believed in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, fairies, doors to other worlds, etc.
My mother says I was born forty years old. Here I was, this small person who didn't much care for other children, trapped in an environment over which I had little control, and with no means of realistically imagining escape. Of course it had to be realistic, otherwise what was the point? I read my share of fantasy stories and I loved fairy tales, but I enjoyed them more for the imagery and the grotesque than the escapism. I knew I wasn't going to find The Wardrobe because Narnia didn't exist. I think even then I was on an inevitable path to atheism. Because I don't know that I really believed in heaven or hell, despite being raised Christian since babyhood. Only the world that I could see around me or see in photographs was real to me. And if you couldn't show me an example, forget it. I took nothing on faith.
An aside: My poor parents!
But being in charge of my own life now, and as
_luaineach puts it, capable of choosing my own actions to cause and effect, life is full of so much more wonder and joy and magic. I am constantly amazed at the feeling I get when I realize that I'm free to make my own choices and take my own actions. And yes, knowing those actions have consequences, that is magical, too.I love being an adult.