![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I'm slowly crawling out from under a bleak emotional place. Still actively wishing for death but I've gone two days in a row without crying even once so that's progress. I made tamago kake gohan for breakfast today and ate more than half. Gold star for me!
Friday night I went to see a live music show (outdoors) with Coworker A and it was wonderful. I liked the two openers very much. The headliners were excellent musicians, but not my style of music (freeform jazz/spoken word stuff). Very glad I saw them, though. Their energy was incredible and even though it mostly sounded like noise to me I recognized the talent.
A friend came over for a few hours yesterday. We were supposed to meet downtown but I was going to have to cancel because the show wiped me out. She immediately switched plans and even brought me food! 🧡 I related the rollercoaster saga of a recent heartbreak/potential romance that died almost before it started and she started to cry. She's the second person I've told this story to in person and the second person to get teary/sniffly over it so I guess it really is a sad story. I knew it felt sad from the inside, but seeing people visibly react like that was... idk, validating? Made me feel less useless about sobbing over it for a week, anyway.
It does make a good story, though. No doubt I'll incorporate some of it into a fic someday.
She said about my life: "This makes me believe more in (mutual friend C's) theory that this is all a simulation and damn you are stuck in the worst kind of black comedy." I just hope whomever is watching enjoys the show. I hate the idea of doing all this for an unappreciative audience.
Speaking of fic, I was poking at edits of the scene from Redemption I wrote a while back and realized the next chapter needs to be the mid-point crisis of Zhao Yunlan's emotional arc (time to deal with his issues with Zhao Xinci!) so that's gonna be an emotional investment. Good thing I've got so many internal reserves allowing me to explore that! Ha! ha ha!
Friday night I went to see a live music show (outdoors) with Coworker A and it was wonderful. I liked the two openers very much. The headliners were excellent musicians, but not my style of music (freeform jazz/spoken word stuff). Very glad I saw them, though. Their energy was incredible and even though it mostly sounded like noise to me I recognized the talent.
A friend came over for a few hours yesterday. We were supposed to meet downtown but I was going to have to cancel because the show wiped me out. She immediately switched plans and even brought me food! 🧡 I related the rollercoaster saga of a recent heartbreak/potential romance that died almost before it started and she started to cry. She's the second person I've told this story to in person and the second person to get teary/sniffly over it so I guess it really is a sad story. I knew it felt sad from the inside, but seeing people visibly react like that was... idk, validating? Made me feel less useless about sobbing over it for a week, anyway.
It does make a good story, though. No doubt I'll incorporate some of it into a fic someday.
She said about my life: "This makes me believe more in (mutual friend C's) theory that this is all a simulation and damn you are stuck in the worst kind of black comedy." I just hope whomever is watching enjoys the show. I hate the idea of doing all this for an unappreciative audience.
Speaking of fic, I was poking at edits of the scene from Redemption I wrote a while back and realized the next chapter needs to be the mid-point crisis of Zhao Yunlan's emotional arc (time to deal with his issues with Zhao Xinci!) so that's gonna be an emotional investment. Good thing I've got so many internal reserves allowing me to explore that! Ha! ha ha!