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Practice what you preach
Jan. 9th, 2023 06:13 pmBeen having a few conversations with myself and others about hurt. Recognizing when someone hurts you, addressing it, how to respond when told you've done hurt, etc. Well, well, well, I wound up hurting someone this weekend!
On Saturday someone messaged me on Tumblr to say they were hurt by a reference I'd made to Ukraine in Hellbent. I had meant it to be a little shout-out to my friend who fled Ukraine last year and the person who runs this Bai Yu account on Twitter. A little "I see you and haven't forgotten you" message. Unfortunately it did not land that way for this person, and possibly others. I immediately removed the line from the text on AO3 and have an author's note for the beginning of Chapter Two that'll post on Friday.
It sure was good practice at walking my talk! 😅 And sure, part of me was doing the whiny, kick-at-the-ground thing over my intention not being received the way I wanted it to, but effect matters more than intent, always.
Later, after I had time to think about it, my heart broke for all the people brave enough to message a writer to say "hey this thing is hurtful" only to be told they're being too sensitive, or that wasn't what the author meant so they shouldn't be hurt by it, or the author has a right to say whatever they want, etc., etc.
Anyway. I'm not trying to put myself forward as some sort of Wonderfully Benevolent Soul or anything, but the timing on this was too on the nose not to mention it somewhere. Thanks, universe, for bringing that lesson home.
On Saturday someone messaged me on Tumblr to say they were hurt by a reference I'd made to Ukraine in Hellbent. I had meant it to be a little shout-out to my friend who fled Ukraine last year and the person who runs this Bai Yu account on Twitter. A little "I see you and haven't forgotten you" message. Unfortunately it did not land that way for this person, and possibly others. I immediately removed the line from the text on AO3 and have an author's note for the beginning of Chapter Two that'll post on Friday.
It sure was good practice at walking my talk! 😅 And sure, part of me was doing the whiny, kick-at-the-ground thing over my intention not being received the way I wanted it to, but effect matters more than intent, always.
Later, after I had time to think about it, my heart broke for all the people brave enough to message a writer to say "hey this thing is hurtful" only to be told they're being too sensitive, or that wasn't what the author meant so they shouldn't be hurt by it, or the author has a right to say whatever they want, etc., etc.
Anyway. I'm not trying to put myself forward as some sort of Wonderfully Benevolent Soul or anything, but the timing on this was too on the nose not to mention it somewhere. Thanks, universe, for bringing that lesson home.