Good old days

Ever since last Friday's Replay show with DJ Ray Velasquez, I've been in a weird head-space about missing what Lawrence (and I) used to be in the 90s. It's not really nostalgia--I'm not longing to return to those times, but damn I wish some things today were more like they were then.

I miss Lawrence's old, awesome music scene. I miss house parties. I miss going out on weeknights and seeing the headlining band before midnight. I miss all the dope. I miss being slutty.

Those last two are totally in my control, of course, and it's not like I'm going to go live that life again, but I miss that life, you know?

I miss the feeling of there always being something going on. I wasn't obligated to participate, but I always knew there was something out there happening that I could do if I wanted to do it.

I know exactly when and why this changed for me, and I'm not going to go into what caused the change, but the decision to change was my choice. It happened to be a poor one, but of course I didn't realize it at the time. When I stepped away from that life I didn't appreciate or recognize what I was leaving behind. And that brings up a whole 'nother layer of--sadness? Regret? Something. *shrug*

Here, have an example of my life soundtrack from that era. I shared a house with the lead singer of this band, but I don't think it's just that connection that makes me say it's a fucking crime that they never got the support they deserved from a record label. These guys were damned good. ( Click for STICK )

My life now is great. I'm not complaining, mind you. I'm not lacking anything. I'm just...missing.