Calling it

Via athenaartemis comes this really long but fantastic article about Creeper Dudes and how to deal with them. Basically, zero tolerance, people, and fuck anyone (not in the nice way) who whines about the use of the term "rape culture."

labelleizzy posted a link to this very fine article about how people make all sorts of excuses and accommodations for people who exhibit undesirable personal traits--in this case, misogyny and rape. Please also, if you have time, read the accompanying article which brings up an important issue--the need for us not to just let these things slide, and to call that shit out. Every time.

It's crucial to hound people about this, mercilessly. Don't not talk about it for fear of upsetting people. Don't say that you don't want to bring up a topic because people might find it upsetting. You know what's upsetting? Getting sexually assaulted because not enough people are willing to be loud and obnoxious about the rampant disregard of how women are treated and thought of in our society.

Don't think cultural misogyny (always a fun topic) is a problem? You're wrong. We hate women in our culture. As women, we're even taught to hate ourselves and other women. It's insidious, and it's subtle. Have you called knee push-ups "girly push-ups?" I'm raising my hand here, too, so be honest. I'm working on that. If you see me write or hear me say something along those lines, please call me out of on it. I'm not perfect and I'm not exempt from correction.

At Thursday's CrossFit I smacked a guy down (not one of the coaches) for making a misogynist comment. I called him out on Tuesday for making biased and closed-minded comments to Coach Thomas, so I think I'm sensing some sort of pattern, here. I'm gonna refer to him as J.

Just to set the scene, Tuesday's interaction came about because J was discussing Coach Thomas's decision about getting a full sleeve done. J asked what he was going to get on the other arm and Thomas said that he was leaving the other arm blank, to better show off musculature and definition. J scoffed at that, and commented that "It was all about being committed" and something along the lines of Go Big Or Go Home. I was in the middle of my set of front presses, but I racked my weight, turned to J, and said "I thought tattoos were all about self-expression and doing whatever you wanted with your body." Zing! J mumbled something about my coming to Thomas's defense and I just gave him An Eyebrow.

Yesterday's interaction was a little more upsetting. There were three new women at the WOD, who had just joined the box. Coach Andrew asked if any of us could do unassisted pull-ups and one of them said yes and then proceeded to show off some Really Incredible Strict Pull-Ups. Like, eight of them. In a row. J looked at the other guy doing the 6am WOD and said "Jeez, dude, you should be embarrassed." I turned to J and said "Wait. Are you saying that he should be embarrassed because a girl can do more pull-ups than he can?" J then proceeded to show his true colors by actually saying out loud to me "Now, don't go all women's lib on me." "Well, where would you like me to go?" I asked. He started to splutter something and I followed up with "Because I can certainly think of where I would like to tell you to go."



I am grateful that, even hot and sweaty and at six o'clock in the damn morning, my brain still pulls out the fast comebacks. Thanks, Brain!

To J's credit, when I left after Thursday's WOD, he called out to me "Good job today!"

This morning, we had another exchange where I called him out for saying something about one of the other women at today's WOD (we had six women! SIX!)--I don't remember exactly what he said, but it was something along the lines of "I gotta up my game, because a swimmer does those better than me." I looked at him and said "J, you have got to stop comparing yourself unfavorably to other people. That's no good." He responded with "Don't get all uptight about this stuff," and I replied "Man, I'm not uptight. You're the one throwing out all these negative comparisons."

Maybe he can be taught? At least, taught how to talk when I'm in the box? We'll see. I wish people would understand (and internalize) the fact that any sort of smack talk that puts yourself or another person down by making disparaging comments about someone else hurts everyone. One of the things I like about the coaches (and most of the people at CrossFit) is that they encourage me as an individual. The motivation comes not from a desire to be better than someone else, but from me wanting to be better because I can be better.

We all can be better--and we're not any of us better than anyone else.