The Devil You Know

Reasons to get down. Reasons to jump around.

I'm on week four of tracking my energy levels. It's been an interesting experiment. I don't know if my increasing energy is actually increasing, or if I'm able to better notice that I have more good days (than I thought?) by recording them, or a combination, or maybe the journaling has forced me to have a better attitude, or or or ...but things have improved.



So that encouraging! I still have low days, but I'm gonna have low days and that's just life. I'm considering decreasing or ceasing my sessions and supplements from Dr. Jonah for a couple months to see how I feel. That would be a lot of money (and time). The few weeks I've taken off from driving to KC every week has, perhaps, helped my energy level increase. The hormonal supplements from Dr. Khosh will remain very much in my daily use, though. I've seen what happens when I go off those and it's not fun.

I leave for Indianapolis tonight to visit the folks for a few days, so I won't be around much until Sunday. Ciao, bellas.

Here's some food for thought for those of us with tight hip flexors. And here are some (more) suggestions for SI Joint issues.

I myself don't buy from Amazon, but I don't force (or even encourage) others to share my shopping politics. If you do buy from Amazon and you're in the market for some exercise/therapy bands, redheadfae posted a link to this incredibly good deal on Flex Active bands.

Aging is B.S. The Myth of Missed Opportunities. PREACH.

Recommended in a comment on The Toast's Friday Open Thread was this site called Storywonk. It's about writing, publishing, fandom, meta-analysis, and has podcasts that talk about a few shows, including Star Trek, Buffy, and Outlander.

Eighteen minutes of behind the scenes clips from Fury Road.


Soooo after doing a lot of thinking about it, I am leaning toward cosplaying Nux and not some interpretation of a female War Boy. How the hell I'm going to get this amount of hair under a bald cap I'm not sure, but I at least want to try. TBH, I think dealing with the issue of how to appear shirtless (and abide by public nudity laws) will be easier than hiding my hair. This was mostly motivated by my desire to recreate Max's jacket (which Nux wears, briefly), and then aprilstarchild is considering putting together a Capable costume and wouldn't that be fun to cosplay together at 221B Con?

Although I gotta be honest, right now I'm in a pretty low place and the idea of putting any sort of costume together seems like some pretty fucking high goals. I can't even muster the energy to do my PT exercises every day.

Today's Tumblr is Tuesday, June 2: Lightning.

I'm so excited! I love three day weekends, and I get to start this one a little early, even. Today is a half day at work for me. I'm off at noon to get my hair cut. It's getting pretty straggly and even though I like the wild rat-nest look, I want a healthy rat nest, you know? Right after that, I'm off to Warrensburg, MO, to pick up my entire hog that I bought this year (previously I've only bought a half). So. Much. Pork. It's kind of a long drive (about an hour and a half), but this pork is special. And their sausage blend has nothing in it I can't eat. AMAZING. And DELICIOUS.

I had a follow-up session with Star on Wednesday and my hips are already so much better. I had a few hours where I was just freezing that evening, and yes, we're having colder than normal weather right now, but I was inside and under blankets for godssake. I remember the same weird chill happened last time, too, only a day later. Things seem to be on an accelerated schedule this time around. Neat!

Although I've been diligent in my physical therapy exercises, my yoga practice has fallen by the wayside lately. I've been trying to stock up on time with mckitterick before he takes off for his annual Month of Unavailability. He's at the local SF convention this weekend, though, and starting May 31 he'll be gone most evenings and weekends. I'll be using that time to re-incorporate my yoga practice. I'm looking forward to it.

I'm also looking forward to a month of not cooking dinners on a regular basis. I enjoy making dinner for us most nights, but it'll be good to have a few weeks of eating pre-prepped Bowl of Food in the evening instead of using that time to cook and then clean. It'll also be a chance for me to clean up my act eating-wise. I'm just gonna put all the nuts in a cabinet and consider it off limits. I might re-arrange the kitchen a bit so those items aren't right at eye-level, too. Just put all the snack stuff for mckitterick in one cabinet and then let it become invisible to me. Oh, the weird little tricks I have to play on myself sometimes when it comes to food. Goes to show you never really get over an eating disorder, I guess.

The collection of Mad Max articles is going up on Tuesday, the day after Memorial Day, along with a Tumblr collection of Mad Max articles, gifs, and commentary. If you've got anything you think would make a good contribution, please leave a link in the comments!

I could not not use that title, sorry.

I've seen some amazing changes lately, friends! Some great stuff! Of course few of those things are the things I'm actually trying to change, but It's All Related and I like to think it's just a matter of time before I notice improvement in my targeted problems.

The biggest thing is the improvements in my hip mobility. And it's also the most, well, awkward thing to talk about because it's so hippie woo-woo but fuck, if hippie woo-woo works, I'll take it! I went to see a friend of mine who does all sorts of energy work. Reiki, Aromatherapy, Chakra balancing, that sort of thing. She's re-starting her business after a break and I thought hey, what's to lose? I get to help a friend with her bills and it can't hurt. Now, I don't know beans about the sorts of things she was doing--during the debriefing time she told me generally what she'd done to balance my five-sided star (my six-sided star was just fine) and it was all very woo-woo and I was all "mmmmmoookaaaaay"--but it worked.

Not gonna go into the details of what she did (because honestly, I don't remember and it's not important), but it took me several minutes to return to grounded, aware mentality afterward and I am someone who always wakes from sleeping immediately and with full consciousness. So this wasn't just a nap. I should mention that although my hypnotherapy experiment wasn't very productive (at least in the way I wanted), I am aces at falling into a liminal mental state when I feel safe and adequately engaged/involved in the process (I often fall into a liminal state during a well-led Savasana). Even though she didn't say a word, Star was fantastic at helping me fall into that trance space. Anyway, it was a couple days later before I noticed huge changes but wow, it was amazing when they did.

The first time I noticed Something Was Definitely Happening was during some post-orgasmic glow time with mckitterick. Now, my circulation is usually crap, and after rolling out (or when mckitterick is kind enough to rub my legs and feet super hard) is the only time my legs and feet ever feel alive and connected to my body. Suddenly, my legs, from hip joints down, felt just like they do after an intense myofascial release session. And it lasted for nearly an hour! Bliss! And then, and then, the next morning I got out of bed and I wasn't stiff and miserable. Later that day, I squatted down to put away some pans and nothing creaked or popped. For weeks, my hips had been sore and stiff and just...angry-feeling, and then it was like someone (Star) had just fire-hosed out all that congestion and stagnation.

The kicker? My hips are still feeling great. I had a bit of a moment with my back on Saturday, but I babied it most of the rest of the day and there's only the tiniest little knot back there now. Hips? Still Great.



So. Energy work. Who knew? I have my next appointment with her on the 20th.

Oh, friends, I have so much going on in my head right now, but I also have a lot going on in my body and unfortunately that means I don't have a lot of energy to talk about the interesting psychological insights. ( Although you wouldn't know that from how much I managed to type out here, JFC )

I forgot to post my Intentional Movement Report last night, so I put it up this morning and backdated it to last night. If you want to check it out, it's here.

I am not a fan of pre-workout static stretching. I know I get lessened results when I do it. If I need loosening up for a particular lift, I do myofascial release. But I do think static stretching can be used effectively in mobility work. After all, certain types of yoga can be seen as static stretching. Breaking Muscle posted an article about using static stretching for lifting heavy. I think one of the most important parts is the last paragraph: Having a thorough and regular stretching routine will keep your body more injury resistant, prevent compensation patterns or overuse of a muscle from occurring, and allow you to feel stable and balanced during your lifts.

Consistency in any exercise or movement program is crucial. A few weeks (months?) ago, I decided to focus my daily intentional movement on yoga and mobility. I've seen some fantastic progress in my regular yoga practice since then. It's been so impressive that when I return from Atlanta, I'm going to incorporate a more regimented program. I'll have three specific series that I'll do once every week, preferably on regular days. One day will be SI Joint Happiness, one day will be progression to Hanumanasana, and one day will be a yet-to-be-found/created series that focuses on upper body and core strength/stabilization. I'll do at least one myofascial release session a week and at least one free-for-all yoga day a week. Any additional days (if I get in more than five days in a week) will be one of those latter two options.

Fun!

In other body news, I found the culprit for my abdominal pains. I forgot to take it yesterday morning and felt fine all day. Took it with dinner and within half an hour had slight gas/cramping discomfort that lasted until about 9am this morning. I'm decreasing the dosage to one scoop instead of two and only taking it at night for the next three days. I'm not going to bother bringing it to Atlanta at all. When I get back, I'll resume the one scoop in the evening until I feel fine with that dosage and then gradually work my way up to two scoops twice a day. One of the nice things about managing my health with supplements instead of pharmaceuticals is being able to play around with dosages so easily.

How's this Monday treating you all?

It's Friday! Before we party, let's start with body stuff.

First, a recommendation find: Overhead squats are my most feared (yes, feared) lift. Frankly, they terrify me. I'm a bit unsteady in even a basic weighted squat, but I feel downright unstable in the overhead squat and I have actually fallen over backward while in the bottom of one. With weight overhead. In a full squat. I am still proud of myself for bailing out under it correctly and nobody was hurt, but still. The overhead squat is really, really scary to me. If you're in the same boat, the trouble might not all be in your hips. Here are a couple mobility drills to open up your thoracic spine which will allow that gorgeous, broad, open chest and strong uplifted arms that are crucial to a successful overhead squat. I'm going to add at least the first one to my Restorative Yoga Collection because honestly it looks gloriously soothing.

Next, a personal find: I mentioned a little bit ago about my newly-smooth thumbnails after decades of them looking like tiny washboards. I now have little half-moons under my fingernails. Used to be I only had half-moons under my thumbs and the fingernails were just solid pink beds. No more! Circulation and oxygen supply must be vastly improved because I have at least a suggestion of a moon under every finger. The pinkies are barely there, but they're there! So exciting! Visible progress like this is incredibly rewarding.

Yesterday was my monthly supplementation consultation with Dr. Jonah. We're phasing out the digestion treatment, continuing with the endocrine support (decreasing amounts on that was an informative experiment but not one I'm going to repeat for a while), and starting work on gut flora--clearing out overgrowth and bad stuff as well as re-populating the good stuff. If this helps my abdominal swelling issues, it will make having my period at 221B Con so much easier.

Last night I slept pretty well. Cramps woke me only twice, and the second time I was able to fall back asleep after taking a Naproxen. SLEEP IS SO GOOD. But before bed (and by "before bed" I mean "immediately after eating dinner"), I settled myself into bed with herbal soothers, a heating pad, and my laptop to indulge in some fic-reading. I'm going through an old LJ community for due South fic recs and found this story that was really touching and a slow build to some very steamy and sweet sex. The comm has been inactive for more than ten years, so a lot of the URLs don't work anymore. I'm glad that one did. Sorry I can't give you the comm name--I have it as an open tab on my home computer and I can't find it in an LJ search.

Update on that DIY Vitamin C Serum I mentioned a couple weeks ago: It's pretty fucking amazing. I just upped the percentage of LAA to 10% in the batch I made last night, but even at 5% I was seeing skin quality improvement. In fact, last weekend mckitterick said something like "I don't know what you're using on your face lately, but your skin looks twenty years old." Granted, I have anti-aging genes and not a lot of wrinkles, but the little pre-crow's-feet lines next to my eyes are gone and my naso-labial folds are as minimized as they're going to get on someone with my size nose and cheekbones. Also, just the overall skin quality is improved. And because of the tiny bit of glycerin included in the mix, I don't have to use any sort of additional moisturizer. I'm going to have to be super careful about slathering on the SPF this summer, though. Probably gonna switch to this SPF this summer to avoid those chin-breakouts I'm prone to.

If anyone local wants to try the serum for themselves, I'm willing to part with a half teaspoon of the LAA powder I ordered to get you started. Once mixed, it's good for a week before it deteriorates. But it will give you a sense of how your skin reacts. Bring your own dropper container, though!

I'm all alone in the office today \o/ and am very much looking forward to the weekend. I am dreading the task of getting the house organized for the student-recruitment visit reception on Monday. Thinking we probably would feel better getting that out of the way as soon as possible, but I'm pretty sure we'll put it off until Sunday night just like I said I didn't want to but it's the weekend.

Super-focused eating is, apparently, what I need to start leaning down.

February 1 numbers:
Weight: 169.4
Waist: 33.5"
Navel: 40.5"
Hips: 44"

March 1 numbers:
Weight: 162
Waist: 31.5"
Navel: 38"
Hips: 42"

Yeah, I had the three days of practically-fasting from the flu, but still. Those are some pleasing numbers, especially considering the latest hormonal fuckery.

Since I eat pretty much Whole30-compliant all the time, here's what I eschewed for the month of February:
Coconut milk in tea every morning
Sweeteners of any kind, including honey and stevia
Treats (like those garbanzo-bean blondies)
Alcohol
Between-meal snacking

I also cut down on the amounts of nuts and dried fruit I ate, completely eliminating things like my home-made Lara bars (because of the no-snacking policy).

Between that and the intentional movement at least five times a week, I'm seeing definite changes in my body shape (rounder ass, more defined waist) in just twenty-eight days. God, it's so nice to see results. I owe a lot of the credit to the supplementation schedule I'm on. I wouldn't have seen this amount of improvement (if any) without substantial assistance to my endocrine, adrenal, and digestive systems.

It's That Time of Year again when the inside of my nose becomes dry, tender, and cracked from the forced heated air despite the fact that my office is freezing cold and we don't generally keep our house above 65F. MY FAVORITE.

I got my hair cut Saturday and my lovely stylist gave me a free blowout because she's awesome (and I tip well). It takes nearly twenty minutes to blow dry my hair--really blow dry it, not the half-assed thing I do at home--but when it's done well, my hair flows like water. I've been told I look like a Pantene advertisement when my hair's straightened like that. However, the power of my curl is strong and despite not washing my hair or even letting it get damp, it's starting to curl up at the ends and get tangly. I'll probably have to rinse it out this weekend. Sadness. I love my curls, don't get me wrong, but it's such a treat to be able to run my fingers through my hair a couple times a year.

Pretty much everything in this store is something that I'd like to have in my house. Especially this wallpaper. And I hate wallpaper.

Item of note: since I resigned myself to wearing All Knits All The Time, I care less about my abdominal swelling issues. It's amazing how, when I don't have to choose between clothes that fit half the day or have a waistband digging into my belly, the issue is...liveable. I would still like it to stop already, but it's not making my life miserable. Does cut down on my desire to participate in dance gigs, though. Fasting is doable, but that doesn't mean it's easy.

There are two things wanna do in my life right now: 1. Become re-engaged with my job. I am putting precious little soul into it lately and that's not helping my efficacy, enthusiasm, or efficiency. 2. Be more productive on the weekends. I want to get some art done, but once I'm finished with errands and house duties, it's all I can do to even make it to the damn couch. mckitterick and I were having a conversation about Managing Life a few nights ago and he pointed out that I am great at strategy but not so good at tactics. So those are my two strategies for feeling better about my life right now. Just gotta figure a way to plan out those tactics.

These are the best combo of paleo-friendly and delicious brownies I've tried. Even people I know who can (and do) eat regular brownies like these. They are amazing. I've posted about them before, but I'm putting the link here again, just in case you missed it the first time around. They're so good, you guys.

As soon as I finish my current supply of shampoo and conditioner, I'm going to try DevaCurl. I expect this to happen sometime in the next nine to twelve months, judging by how long my previous bottles lasted. I don't wash my hair very often.

And now: Content!

Okay, so one of the reasons I was so fucking down on Monday is yeah, I was stupidly bloated and tired, but I'm 99% sure I was stupidly bloated and tired because of Sunday's boxing session. It felt great while I was doing it, but maybe it was just too much adrenaline/cortisol. My hormones go haywire when I'm stressed, so it's likely that the level of exertion was too much. I'm going to try it again this Sunday just to see, but I'm not gonna lie, that's horribly discouraging.

Something that made me feel good, though, was that I managed to make myself incredibly sore and worked my forearms to utter fatigue (seriously, I couldn't pick stuff up) during the session without spraining/injuring anything (other than the blisters between my ring finger and pinky that are from the glove and, according to mckitterick, fairly inevitable until I build up a callous). Same with my front kicks (I wasn't up to doing any fancy footwork stuff). So I was punching (and kicking) with a good amount of force and quality form, despite taking such a long time off from practicing. Fuck yeah muscle memory.

And finally: During the next five days, post three positive things about your day and ask three people to do the same so the positive attitude can gain some ground.

1. I was able to fall back asleep almost immediately after waking to thunder this morning at 2am.

2. mckitterick found a tolerable-to-me solution to the problem of Where To Put The CrockPot since he doesn't like to heat up the house or the smell of chicken stock cooking.

3. My jeans fit again (finally) after Monday's Horrible Swelling Episode.

ETA: and I somehow just deleted yesterday's post? Christ.