Squirrelly

Nov. 3rd, 2015 09:01 am
clevermanka: default (blah)
I got the picture of my live blood analysis, finally. So here's what healthy red blood cells look like. Here's the sort of thing you find when you do an image search for Rouleaux. Here's what my blood looks like behind the cut )

Today's Tumblr collection is Tuesday, November 3: Squirrels.
clevermanka: default (sin like you mean it)
Reasons to get down. Reasons to jump around.

I'm on week four of tracking my energy levels. It's been an interesting experiment. I don't know if my increasing energy is actually increasing, or if I'm able to better notice that I have more good days (than I thought?) by recording them, or a combination, or maybe the journaling has forced me to have a better attitude, or or or ...but things have improved.



So that encouraging! I still have low days, but I'm gonna have low days and that's just life. I'm considering decreasing or ceasing my sessions and supplements from Dr. Jonah for a couple months to see how I feel. That would be a lot of money (and time). The few weeks I've taken off from driving to KC every week has, perhaps, helped my energy level increase. The hormonal supplements from Dr. Khosh will remain very much in my daily use, though. I've seen what happens when I go off those and it's not fun.

I leave for Indianapolis tonight to visit the folks for a few days, so I won't be around much until Sunday. Ciao, bellas.
clevermanka: default (Reefer Madness)
Back in my frivolous days of youth, I had a particular affection for this little thing called an ECA stack. Being a frugal DIY-er, I made my own with ephedrine tabs (I preferred Mini Thins, but would also use Truckers Luv IT brand), No-Doz, and baby aspirin. One tablet of each in the morning after a particularly late (or rough) night and I was good for the day. Alert, focused, and happy. No shakes, no jitters, no headache-nausea from multiple cups of coffee...ECA stacks were the shit. Then of course, ephedrine became illegal and the replacement (I can't remember its name) wasn't the same. I haven't taken an ECA stack in over a decade.

Well.

Last night was bad. Real bad. Between the coughing (still) and the itching from these fucking mite bites (worse), I got maybe three hours of cumulative sleep last night. I felt horrible. Just wretched. I should note, I went to bed at 9:00 last night because I was so tired from walking back and forth to the union twice yesterday for meetings. This morning I could barely climb the stairs to wake up [livejournal.com profile] mckitterick to ask him to give me a ride up to campus. No way I could call in sick, since the other secretary is out.

Before we left, I rooted around in our medications drawer for an Emergen-C packet. I saw a bottle of this stuff that I bought [livejournal.com profile] mckitterick ages ago. There was still one tablet left and I thought Well Why Not. I brought it to work with me, popped it in my tea mug full of water and drank it first thing when I got here.

Holy Fucking Shit y'all. Z-I-N-G! Energy and euphoria just like what I remember from my ECA stacks. I am happy! I am motivated! I am looking at my to-do list for today and thinking Hooray! Filing! My Favorite! (I actually do love filing, but it's a weirdly exhausting task when one is chronically tired and brain-foggy.) I'm looking around my office and there is just not enough here for me to do. I can tell I'm not going to be content paging through screen after screen of Tumblr. I want to be making things, talking about things, doing things. I want to go to the gym!

I feel so damn good. I honestly don't remember the last time I felt this basically...great. I mean, it's Friday, and that helps, but you guys I could barely string together a sentence when I left the house and now I've cheerfully helped two people with the copier, chatted with someone about art projects, answered all my work email, gossiped with someone about her weekend plans, and just generally been Let's Do Today, Folks! on three hours of sleep. While itchy. And still coughing/stuffy. I feel like a normal person. A normal, happy person. This is amazing.

It's gonna be difficult not to take one of these things every day.
clevermanka: default (winter)
Here's some food for thought for those of us with tight hip flexors. And here are some (more) suggestions for SI Joint issues.

I myself don't buy from Amazon, but I don't force (or even encourage) others to share my shopping politics. If you do buy from Amazon and you're in the market for some exercise/therapy bands, [livejournal.com profile] redheadfae posted a link to this incredibly good deal on Flex Active bands.

Aging is B.S. The Myth of Missed Opportunities. PREACH.

Recommended in a comment on The Toast's Friday Open Thread was this site called Storywonk. It's about writing, publishing, fandom, meta-analysis, and has podcasts that talk about a few shows, including Star Trek, Buffy, and Outlander.

Eighteen minutes of behind the scenes clips from Fury Road.


Soooo after doing a lot of thinking about it, I am leaning toward cosplaying Nux and not some interpretation of a female War Boy. How the hell I'm going to get this amount of hair under a bald cap I'm not sure, but I at least want to try. TBH, I think dealing with the issue of how to appear shirtless (and abide by public nudity laws) will be easier than hiding my hair. This was mostly motivated by my desire to recreate Max's jacket (which Nux wears, briefly), and then [livejournal.com profile] aprilstarchild is considering putting together a Capable costume and wouldn't that be fun to cosplay together at 221B Con?

Although I gotta be honest, right now I'm in a pretty low place and the idea of putting any sort of costume together seems like some pretty fucking high goals. I can't even muster the energy to do my PT exercises every day.

Today's Tumblr is Tuesday, June 2: Lightning.
clevermanka: default (punch it)
I want a print of the fourth piece of art in this Toast essay.

Maggie Stiefvater posted a really great techno/electronica playlist on Tumblr.

My left hip is still bugging me and I think it's two things. One, I might have been overstretching and...sprained it a little? Oops. I've been babying it during my PT exercises (which omg you guys so exhausting) and it's feeling a little better already. Two, though. Ugh. Two, I think it's the extra weight I've put on in the past couple months. I had a hard time returning to structured eating after 221B Con, which I mentioned at the time, but I still am snacking way too much (like, at all) and so much dried fruit and nuts. I know my joints hurt more and regularly when I creep over 165lbs. I haven't weighed myself in ages, but I bet I'm up around there, if not over. [livejournal.com profile] mckitterick's also unhappy with the bit of belly he's acquired recently, so the two of us made a pact for a full calendar year--until Memorial Day 2016--to be the most physically-conscious versions of ourselves and see how fit and healthy we can possibly get in 365 days.

As always, if doing stuff like this with other people helps inspire you or keep you on track, feel free to join us!

clevermanka: default (ass2)
I'm so excited! I love three day weekends, and I get to start this one a little early, even. Today is a half day at work for me. I'm off at noon to get my hair cut. It's getting pretty straggly and even though I like the wild rat-nest look, I want a healthy rat nest, you know? Right after that, I'm off to Warrensburg, MO, to pick up my entire hog that I bought this year (previously I've only bought a half). So. Much. Pork. It's kind of a long drive (about an hour and a half), but this pork is special. And their sausage blend has nothing in it I can't eat. AMAZING. And DELICIOUS.

I had a follow-up session with Star on Wednesday and my hips are already so much better. I had a few hours where I was just freezing that evening, and yes, we're having colder than normal weather right now, but I was inside and under blankets for godssake. I remember the same weird chill happened last time, too, only a day later. Things seem to be on an accelerated schedule this time around. Neat!

Although I've been diligent in my physical therapy exercises, my yoga practice has fallen by the wayside lately. I've been trying to stock up on time with [livejournal.com profile] mckitterick before he takes off for his annual Month of Unavailability. He's at the local SF convention this weekend, though, and starting May 31 he'll be gone most evenings and weekends. I'll be using that time to re-incorporate my yoga practice. I'm looking forward to it.

I'm also looking forward to a month of not cooking dinners on a regular basis. I enjoy making dinner for us most nights, but it'll be good to have a few weeks of eating pre-prepped Bowl of Food in the evening instead of using that time to cook and then clean. It'll also be a chance for me to clean up my act eating-wise. I'm just gonna put all the nuts in a cabinet and consider it off limits. I might re-arrange the kitchen a bit so those items aren't right at eye-level, too. Just put all the snack stuff for [livejournal.com profile] mckitterick in one cabinet and then let it become invisible to me. Oh, the weird little tricks I have to play on myself sometimes when it comes to food. Goes to show you never really get over an eating disorder, I guess.

The collection of Mad Max articles is going up on Tuesday, the day after Memorial Day, along with a Tumblr collection of Mad Max articles, gifs, and commentary. If you've got anything you think would make a good contribution, please leave a link in the comments!

Scamper

May. 19th, 2015 10:10 am
clevermanka: default (blah)
My hips are getting sore and stiff again. Hurray for seeing Star again tomorrow! And the PT guy, and Dr. Jonah--it's a long morning in KC for me. In a way, it's kind of cool that the issue is returning. Very few issues are solved in a single fix-it session, and this slight regression somehow makes the healing process more real.

Here are more office stretches that you don't even need to leave your desk to do.

There are squirrels or birds (or both) in the dropped ceiling at the office. This happens every year. Oh, spring.

I've been eating for crap lately and I can't be assed to care. Last night I had a green salad with dried fruit, toasted almonds, and chopped strawberries. For dessert (like I needed dessert--that salad was sweet enough to be a dessert), apple slices with almond butter. WTF, self. There's this stuff called protein. And remember how you're supposed to limit your intake of raw food? Yeah.

Today's Tumblr is Tuesday, May 19: Rain.
clevermanka: default (i dance now)
I could not not use that title, sorry.

I've seen some amazing changes lately, friends! Some great stuff! Of course few of those things are the things I'm actually trying to change, but It's All Related and I like to think it's just a matter of time before I notice improvement in my targeted problems.

The biggest thing is the improvements in my hip mobility. And it's also the most, well, awkward thing to talk about because it's so hippie woo-woo but fuck, if hippie woo-woo works, I'll take it! I went to see a friend of mine who does all sorts of energy work. Reiki, Aromatherapy, Chakra balancing, that sort of thing. She's re-starting her business after a break and I thought hey, what's to lose? I get to help a friend with her bills and it can't hurt. Now, I don't know beans about the sorts of things she was doing--during the debriefing time she told me generally what she'd done to balance my five-sided star (my six-sided star was just fine) and it was all very woo-woo and I was all "mmmmmoookaaaaay"--but it worked.

Not gonna go into the details of what she did (because honestly, I don't remember and it's not important), but it took me several minutes to return to grounded, aware mentality afterward and I am someone who always wakes from sleeping immediately and with full consciousness. So this wasn't just a nap. I should mention that although my hypnotherapy experiment wasn't very productive (at least in the way I wanted), I am aces at falling into a liminal mental state when I feel safe and adequately engaged/involved in the process (I often fall into a liminal state during a well-led Savasana). Even though she didn't say a word, Star was fantastic at helping me fall into that trance space. Anyway, it was a couple days later before I noticed huge changes but wow, it was amazing when they did.

The first time I noticed Something Was Definitely Happening was during some post-orgasmic glow time with [livejournal.com profile] mckitterick. Now, my circulation is usually crap, and after rolling out (or when [livejournal.com profile] mckitterick is kind enough to rub my legs and feet super hard) is the only time my legs and feet ever feel alive and connected to my body. Suddenly, my legs, from hip joints down, felt just like they do after an intense myofascial release session. And it lasted for nearly an hour! Bliss! And then, and then, the next morning I got out of bed and I wasn't stiff and miserable. Later that day, I squatted down to put away some pans and nothing creaked or popped. For weeks, my hips had been sore and stiff and just...angry-feeling, and then it was like someone (Star) had just fire-hosed out all that congestion and stagnation.

The kicker? My hips are still feeling great. I had a bit of a moment with my back on Saturday, but I babied it most of the rest of the day and there's only the tiniest little knot back there now. Hips? Still Great.



So. Energy work. Who knew? I have my next appointment with her on the 20th.
clevermanka: default (post-dance)
Good news, I think Tim the PT guy and I have the potential for a really great working relationship. Not so great (but not terribly surprising), I have a lot more wrong stuff that needs fixing with my body than I thought. Let's start at the top? Click for a laughably long to-do list )

To be honest, I walked out of the session a little overwhelmed and thinking sheer fucking force of will must've been the only thing that allowed me to deadlift 140lbs and push-press 70lbs last year. But I also had a near-tear-inducing realization of Holy Shit Imagine What I'll Accomplish When I Correct These Issues.
clevermanka: default (Respirator)
Oh, friends, I have so much going on in my head right now, but I also have a lot going on in my body and unfortunately that means I don't have a lot of energy to talk about the interesting psychological insights. Although you wouldn't know that from how much I managed to type out here, JFC )
clevermanka: default (going well)
I do not feel good.

I'm swollen like whoa. Woke up this morning already swollen. Thirty-nine inches around my navel (that's over my shirt, but still). My usual navel measurement is around 32". I don't know if this the new supplements I'm taking or that I'm eating like crap lately (for my value of "crap").

Last night's yoga was difficult. I was slightly out of breath and my arms were exhausted after five sun salutations. My left side was weak and unstable in the standing poses. My back twinged coming out of every lunging stance.

I didn't sleep well because of mild but constant stomach discomfort, which I carried around pretty much all day yesterday. I had a little bit of pain after I took this morning's supplements, but that seems to have calmed down, even if the swelling hasn't.

This weekend I tried a baking soda clarifying treatment on my hair which pulled out a lot of build-up (the paste that fell out of my hair afterward was a disgusting yellowish-pink) but also pulled out a lot of my curl. I'm not happy about that and I'm not sure how to get the curl back. I'm treating it every day with a curl-enhancing conditioner and then my usual curl lotion, but it's still pretty limp. MERMAID HAIR NO MORE.

I took photos of my outfits last week and yesterday, but the camera I used is such crap that the photos were useless. I couldn't tell in some photos if those were skirts with tights or just leggings and I was the one wearing the clothes. So I need to use the better camera--which a problem because it's a big digital SLR thing and not a teeny click-and-shoot so it'll block a portion of my body--or deal with using a timer so I can use flash instead of shooting myself in the mirror. Or do both. UGH. I am not sure I'm that committed to documenting my fashion statements, y'all.

The CSSF summer stuff is rolling in. I told [livejournal.com profile] mckitterick that this was my last year helping out with housing stuff. I won't do it anymore. It makes me miserable. Sucks for him, but I'm not willing to sacrifice my happiness on that altar anymore.

On top of all of that, I'm kind of broke. I spent more money last month than I realized, and I'm due to buy a hog in the next couple weeks. Time for austerity measures.

Some small good news, at least. I got the referral to see the MovNat guy at Elite Physical Therapy in Kansas City. He had an opening for tomorrow at 5pm so I took it even though it means driving to KC twice in two days.

Today's Tumblr collection is Tuesday, April 28: Nature.

Update: One of our lecturers just made me feel better about life. He came into my office and said "Manka, this is a weird question, but I feel like of anyone here, you might be able to help me. Do you have any dental floss?" And because I floss like it's my religion, I did.

Take your victories where you can, folks.

Update 2: Just finished lunch and here come the stomach cramps again.



Okay, so Resolution Time. Squeaky-clean eating habits for the next week so I can figure out if it's my shitty eating lately (so many nuts/dried fruit treats) or the new supplementation program.
clevermanka: default (changed priorities)
I forgot to post my Intentional Movement Report last night, so I put it up this morning and backdated it to last night. If you want to check it out, it's here.

I am not a fan of pre-workout static stretching. I know I get lessened results when I do it. If I need loosening up for a particular lift, I do myofascial release. But I do think static stretching can be used effectively in mobility work. After all, certain types of yoga can be seen as static stretching. Breaking Muscle posted an article about using static stretching for lifting heavy. I think one of the most important parts is the last paragraph: Having a thorough and regular stretching routine will keep your body more injury resistant, prevent compensation patterns or overuse of a muscle from occurring, and allow you to feel stable and balanced during your lifts.

Consistency in any exercise or movement program is crucial. A few weeks (months?) ago, I decided to focus my daily intentional movement on yoga and mobility. I've seen some fantastic progress in my regular yoga practice since then. It's been so impressive that when I return from Atlanta, I'm going to incorporate a more regimented program. I'll have three specific series that I'll do once every week, preferably on regular days. One day will be SI Joint Happiness, one day will be progression to Hanumanasana, and one day will be a yet-to-be-found/created series that focuses on upper body and core strength/stabilization. I'll do at least one myofascial release session a week and at least one free-for-all yoga day a week. Any additional days (if I get in more than five days in a week) will be one of those latter two options.

Fun!

In other body news, I found the culprit for my abdominal pains. I forgot to take it yesterday morning and felt fine all day. Took it with dinner and within half an hour had slight gas/cramping discomfort that lasted until about 9am this morning. I'm decreasing the dosage to one scoop instead of two and only taking it at night for the next three days. I'm not going to bother bringing it to Atlanta at all. When I get back, I'll resume the one scoop in the evening until I feel fine with that dosage and then gradually work my way up to two scoops twice a day. One of the nice things about managing my health with supplements instead of pharmaceuticals is being able to play around with dosages so easily.

How's this Monday treating you all?

Lightbulbs

Apr. 2nd, 2015 09:39 am
clevermanka: default (i am so happy!)
After reading this comment from [livejournal.com profile] sherwood21 about Monday night's yoga/body experience, I got a little choked up because it just makes me so happy when someone finds a good place for themselves about their body--especially in yoga, but with any physical activity, really. And then I read [livejournal.com profile] redheadfae's comment and I legitimately started to cry at my desk. Seriously, I am just barely holding it together here.

I love helping people discover joy and happiness in their bodies, y'all. I love it. Yesterday, [livejournal.com profile] mckitterick and I had a conversation about livelihoods and careers and we came to the conclusion that I prefer doing something different every day. This is...new. I'm not sure when it happened. I used to love routine and schedules and knowing exactly what I was going to be doing when. I still want reliability, but the idea of focusing on a different aspect of my job (if, say, my job was something nebulous, like "helping people discover joy and happiness in their bodies") would be ideal.

These little insights are helpful and also terrifying. Because no matter how some things shift and change in my internal landscape, I am still risk- and change-adverse.

I also had a realization about my latest stomach issues. I think it's the new supplements. We're weeding and seeding my gut flora, so it makes sense that I've got weirdness going on in there. I'm sure most people don't suffer debilitating pain, but Special Snowflake Me probably shouldn't have been taken by surprise. Of course my innards are going to hurt when they start changing. It would also explain the sweet cravings which (unfortunately) I gave into by purchasing a fresh pineapple on Tuesday. I didn't even think about the problems that might cause! As you might imagine, I've also got some considerable swelling going on.

So the pineapple's going into a pitcher for infused water and that's it. I'm cutting out all fruit (dried and fresh) for the next three days to see if that helps calm things down.

I might actually have done myself a disservice with yesterday's smoothies, but oh well, live and learn.

Overhead

Mar. 20th, 2015 09:16 am
clevermanka: default (dS icon 1)
It's Friday! Before we party, let's start with body stuff.

First, a recommendation find: Overhead squats are my most feared (yes, feared) lift. Frankly, they terrify me. I'm a bit unsteady in even a basic weighted squat, but I feel downright unstable in the overhead squat and I have actually fallen over backward while in the bottom of one. With weight overhead. In a full squat. I am still proud of myself for bailing out under it correctly and nobody was hurt, but still. The overhead squat is really, really scary to me. If you're in the same boat, the trouble might not all be in your hips. Here are a couple mobility drills to open up your thoracic spine which will allow that gorgeous, broad, open chest and strong uplifted arms that are crucial to a successful overhead squat. I'm going to add at least the first one to my Restorative Yoga Collection because honestly it looks gloriously soothing.

Next, a personal find: I mentioned a little bit ago about my newly-smooth thumbnails after decades of them looking like tiny washboards. I now have little half-moons under my fingernails. Used to be I only had half-moons under my thumbs and the fingernails were just solid pink beds. No more! Circulation and oxygen supply must be vastly improved because I have at least a suggestion of a moon under every finger. The pinkies are barely there, but they're there! So exciting! Visible progress like this is incredibly rewarding.

Yesterday was my monthly supplementation consultation with Dr. Jonah. We're phasing out the digestion treatment, continuing with the endocrine support (decreasing amounts on that was an informative experiment but not one I'm going to repeat for a while), and starting work on gut flora--clearing out overgrowth and bad stuff as well as re-populating the good stuff. If this helps my abdominal swelling issues, it will make having my period at 221B Con so much easier.

Last night I slept pretty well. Cramps woke me only twice, and the second time I was able to fall back asleep after taking a Naproxen. SLEEP IS SO GOOD. But before bed (and by "before bed" I mean "immediately after eating dinner"), I settled myself into bed with herbal soothers, a heating pad, and my laptop to indulge in some fic-reading. I'm going through an old LJ community for due South fic recs and found this story that was really touching and a slow build to some very steamy and sweet sex. The comm has been inactive for more than ten years, so a lot of the URLs don't work anymore. I'm glad that one did. Sorry I can't give you the comm name--I have it as an open tab on my home computer and I can't find it in an LJ search.

Update on that DIY Vitamin C Serum I mentioned a couple weeks ago: It's pretty fucking amazing. I just upped the percentage of LAA to 10% in the batch I made last night, but even at 5% I was seeing skin quality improvement. In fact, last weekend [livejournal.com profile] mckitterick said something like "I don't know what you're using on your face lately, but your skin looks twenty years old." Granted, I have anti-aging genes and not a lot of wrinkles, but the little pre-crow's-feet lines next to my eyes are gone and my naso-labial folds are as minimized as they're going to get on someone with my size nose and cheekbones. Also, just the overall skin quality is improved. And because of the tiny bit of glycerin included in the mix, I don't have to use any sort of additional moisturizer. I'm going to have to be super careful about slathering on the SPF this summer, though. Probably gonna switch to this SPF this summer to avoid those chin-breakouts I'm prone to.

If anyone local wants to try the serum for themselves, I'm willing to part with a half teaspoon of the LAA powder I ordered to get you started. Once mixed, it's good for a week before it deteriorates. But it will give you a sense of how your skin reacts. Bring your own dropper container, though!

I'm all alone in the office today \o/ and am very much looking forward to the weekend. I am dreading the task of getting the house organized for the student-recruitment visit reception on Monday. Thinking we probably would feel better getting that out of the way as soon as possible, but I'm pretty sure we'll put it off until Sunday night just like I said I didn't want to but it's the weekend.

clevermanka: default (yikes)
Edit after posting this: It's hard to remember my hair being as short as it is in the icon. I need to do another 365 portrait project so I can get more recent photos.

I ordered some stuff to make a DIY Vitamin C serum. My skin has been shockingly happy these past couple months of my coconut-oil-only experiment and I'm gonna take this experiment a step further.

Last week I noticed my hormonally-triggered cystic chin zit trying to make an appearance, but I dotted it with a bit of tea tree oil twice a day for two days and it shrunk down without even a bump. The skin was a little irritated after that, so I soothed it with some Herbal Savvy (great for all minor skin irritations, cuts, etc.) and ta-da! Clear chin! That cystic zit usually lasts for weeks, sometimes months. Miracle.

With that sort of encouragement, why not try a DIY anti-aging serum? It can take up to three months to acclimate one's skin to accept sufficiently high levels of Vitamin C that will produce collagen, so I won't know until summer if it's working, but hey, what do I have a to lose? It'll cost me about $15 (for the LAA, the glycerin, and the spray bottle) to try it for three months. The Vitamin C serum from Paula's Choice is $48 for half(ish) an ounce. The DIY version is cheap enough I can spray it on my whole body, not just my face.

I might need that anti-aging shit sooner rather than later because last night wasn't restful. So either Monday was a fluke or (what I hope) it's just taking my body some time to adjust to sleeping again.

A benefactor whom I believe wishes to remain anonymous sent me an olive-drab keffiyeh for the Sebastienne Moran costume. Fuck. Yeah. I love it. It's so soft. He might not get it back.
clevermanka: default (bonecruncher)
Super-focused eating is, apparently, what I need to start leaning down.

February 1 numbers:
Weight: 169.4
Waist: 33.5"
Navel: 40.5"
Hips: 44"

March 1 numbers:
Weight: 162
Waist: 31.5"
Navel: 38"
Hips: 42"

Yeah, I had the three days of practically-fasting from the flu, but still. Those are some pleasing numbers, especially considering the latest hormonal fuckery.

Since I eat pretty much Whole30-compliant all the time, here's what I eschewed for the month of February:
Coconut milk in tea every morning
Sweeteners of any kind, including honey and stevia
Treats (like those garbanzo-bean blondies)
Alcohol
Between-meal snacking

I also cut down on the amounts of nuts and dried fruit I ate, completely eliminating things like my home-made Lara bars (because of the no-snacking policy).

Between that and the intentional movement at least five times a week, I'm seeing definite changes in my body shape (rounder ass, more defined waist) in just twenty-eight days. God, it's so nice to see results. I owe a lot of the credit to the supplementation schedule I'm on. I wouldn't have seen this amount of improvement (if any) without substantial assistance to my endocrine, adrenal, and digestive systems.

Stiffie

Nov. 20th, 2014 11:31 am
clevermanka: default (bonecruncher)
Last night I had my third session with Dr. Jonah and I really really like him you guys. We went over his evaluation of me, which was basically him telling me I'm carrying enough tension in my spine to hold up the Golden Gate Bridge. That was...kind of surprising, actually, because my back has always been flexible, but apparently one can be flexible while maintaining a lot of passive tension. On a scale of 1 to 3, with three being the most tense, only my thoracic spine is a 2. Everything else is a 3. Regarding my ankle and knee tensions (which run on a scale of 1 to 4), I don't have any area that's below a 3. I'm more tense than I realized.

Despite being surprised by those numbers, I'm excited about the prospect of what my body will be able to accomplish when those numbers come down. If I was successfully squatting my previous weights with that level of tension, imagine what I can do when that shit's cleared out! You guys it's gonna be fucking amazing.

He also gave me this diagram, which illustrates how the nervous system affects our organs. Look at how the low back (where all my injuries have been) are connected to the intestines. INTERESTING, NO?

Now, I know I preach at the pulpit of staying off your fucking scale, but sometimes tracking body weight can be helpful if it doesn't trigger harmful behavior. Because I'm not working to put on muscle right now, I'll be checking in with the scale once or twice a month for a little while, and this morning--two weeks into my treatments with Dr. Jonah--I'm four pounds down. That's without changing any of my daily routine, intake or movement-wise. I'm still swelling when I eat, but it looks like perhaps my metabolism is finally waking up. My energy levels are also significantly higher, especially when I get home from work.

I'm feeling pretty good.
clevermanka: default (tactical bacon)
It's That Time of Year again when the inside of my nose becomes dry, tender, and cracked from the forced heated air despite the fact that my office is freezing cold and we don't generally keep our house above 65F. MY FAVORITE.

I got my hair cut Saturday and my lovely stylist gave me a free blowout because she's awesome (and I tip well). It takes nearly twenty minutes to blow dry my hair--really blow dry it, not the half-assed thing I do at home--but when it's done well, my hair flows like water. I've been told I look like a Pantene advertisement when my hair's straightened like that. However, the power of my curl is strong and despite not washing my hair or even letting it get damp, it's starting to curl up at the ends and get tangly. I'll probably have to rinse it out this weekend. Sadness. I love my curls, don't get me wrong, but it's such a treat to be able to run my fingers through my hair a couple times a year.

Pretty much everything in this store is something that I'd like to have in my house. Especially this wallpaper. And I hate wallpaper.

Item of note: since I resigned myself to wearing All Knits All The Time, I care less about my abdominal swelling issues. It's amazing how, when I don't have to choose between clothes that fit half the day or have a waistband digging into my belly, the issue is...liveable. I would still like it to stop already, but it's not making my life miserable. Does cut down on my desire to participate in dance gigs, though. Fasting is doable, but that doesn't mean it's easy.

There are two things wanna do in my life right now: 1. Become re-engaged with my job. I am putting precious little soul into it lately and that's not helping my efficacy, enthusiasm, or efficiency. 2. Be more productive on the weekends. I want to get some art done, but once I'm finished with errands and house duties, it's all I can do to even make it to the damn couch. [livejournal.com profile] mckitterick and I were having a conversation about Managing Life a few nights ago and he pointed out that I am great at strategy but not so good at tactics. So those are my two strategies for feeling better about my life right now. Just gotta figure a way to plan out those tactics.
clevermanka: default (srsly?)
Apparently it didn't matter that I read all those physician bios. KU Med just called to let me know they'd already scheduled me the earliest available appointment with one of the doctors. Fortunately, it's one of the women, and she was my second choice. Unfortunately, the earliest available appointment is November 10.

Jesus H. November 10. Well, if I wasn't depressed before now...



I'm waiting for a call back from her office regarding my query as to whether she treats Hashimoto's as hypothyroidism. Because if she does, there's no point in wasting both our time.
clevermanka: default (ass2)
These are the best combo of paleo-friendly and delicious brownies I've tried. Even people I know who can (and do) eat regular brownies like these. They are amazing. I've posted about them before, but I'm putting the link here again, just in case you missed it the first time around. They're so good, you guys.

As soon as I finish my current supply of shampoo and conditioner, I'm going to try DevaCurl. I expect this to happen sometime in the next nine to twelve months, judging by how long my previous bottles lasted. I don't wash my hair very often.

And now: Content!

Okay, so one of the reasons I was so fucking down on Monday is yeah, I was stupidly bloated and tired, but I'm 99% sure I was stupidly bloated and tired because of Sunday's boxing session. It felt great while I was doing it, but maybe it was just too much adrenaline/cortisol. My hormones go haywire when I'm stressed, so it's likely that the level of exertion was too much. I'm going to try it again this Sunday just to see, but I'm not gonna lie, that's horribly discouraging.

Something that made me feel good, though, was that I managed to make myself incredibly sore and worked my forearms to utter fatigue (seriously, I couldn't pick stuff up) during the session without spraining/injuring anything (other than the blisters between my ring finger and pinky that are from the glove and, according to [livejournal.com profile] mckitterick, fairly inevitable until I build up a callous). Same with my front kicks (I wasn't up to doing any fancy footwork stuff). So I was punching (and kicking) with a good amount of force and quality form, despite taking such a long time off from practicing. Fuck yeah muscle memory.

And finally: During the next five days, post three positive things about your day and ask three people to do the same so the positive attitude can gain some ground.

1. I was able to fall back asleep almost immediately after waking to thunder this morning at 2am.

2. [livejournal.com profile] mckitterick found a tolerable-to-me solution to the problem of Where To Put The CrockPot since he doesn't like to heat up the house or the smell of chicken stock cooking.

3. My jeans fit again (finally) after Monday's Horrible Swelling Episode.

ETA: and I somehow just deleted yesterday's post? Christ.

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