Clever Manka is dressed and undressed

I neglected to mention I'm back on the Intentional Movement program after two weeks off. Thanks to write_out for being a good and understanding accountability partner who let me have the time off without paying the inactivity fee. *kiss*kiss* I'm still taking it pretty easy (it can take flu-damaged lungs six to eight weeks to recover), so lots of yoga on my schedule. Which is good. Yoga is a good place for me to be right now since I have a lot of healing going on, and not all of it physical.

mckitterick and I had a conversation lately about issues. In particular, issues dealing with control (his) and emotional availability (mine). I know that one's hips and emotions are strongly connected and I know that I am not comfortable asking for help and being emotionally available. It feels safe to take care of myself and not ask that of other people. It feels safe to not expect good things from people, either.

I think, however, that those attitudes might be not help with tight hips (which affect pretty much every single important Olympic lifting move--an important thing for me when I'm finally back to reasonable health). During Tuesday night's yoga, I considered ways to address those issues without contradicting my basic nature. I came to the realization that being emotionally open doesn't mean thinking the best of humanity or even giving them the benefit of the doubt. It can mean simply not having expectations at all and being open to either a positive or negative experience with people as they cross my path. Obviously, this does not apply to people with whom I have established relationships (either good or bad). It's instead a new way for me to deal with the general population, and also ties into my recent attempts to let go of anger.

During the same yoga session, I was able to move this far into Uttanasana--something I'd never done before. I've been able to put my palms on the floor in front of my feet, but never before with them to the sides of my feet. Then, a while later, I was able to fold into Janu Sirsasana with the funky special hand position--another first (I can always grab my foot, but have never touched my forehead to my knee while relaxing enough to grab my wrists on the other side of my foot).

It felt wonderful.

So was my meditation on emotional blockage a necessary component of my body's release of tension? Maybe, maybe not. But I feel better for working through both things--the physical and the mental--and I'm certainly not going to complain about making progress with either.

This experience means I'm going to focus on yoga for the next few months. I was trying to incorporate varied movement types into my daily program--some bodyweight resistance training, some cardio (with the dancing), etc., but I feel like my body is telling me that mobility needs to be my focus for the time being.

As a side note, I also noticed Tuesday evening that my horizontal thumbnail ridges are growing out and aren't being replaced with new ones at the cuticle. I have about half an inch of thumbnail without ridges that wasn't smoothed by either my buffing them out or being bolstered with Nailtiques Formula 2. I don't remember not having ridges in my thumbnails since...high school? Something is changing. Something is improving. What an amazing thing, to see proof like this that I'm healing. Proof that isn't "well, maybe you just don't remember correctly" or "maybe you didn't measure yourself right." This is visible, tangible change for the better.

It's good.

Yesterday's calisthenics were apparently productive. My shoulders and triceps are making their presences known. My hips are sore, but I can't tell if it's deep soft tissue or joint ache. I rolled out my glutes, quads, and IT bands for about twenty minutes last night after dinner and man it was rough. My arms were so tired from the morning's exertions that eventually I just had to let myself collapse on the therapy ball and lie there until the knot dissipated.

I woke at 5:45 this morning, but couldn't bear to get out of bed. Today is Restorative Yoga day and I knew my room downstairs would be too cold for me to relax into any of the poses so I lay there for an hour and fifteen minutes, reveling in the warm softness of my beautiful bed. DELIGHTFUL. Tonight I'll set up the space heater in my downstairs room and after dinner I'll crank the heat in the house and settle in for a nice, long restorative session before bed. ALSO DELIGHTFUL.

This cold snap is becoming wearisome. I cannot drink enough warm beverages. It's supposed to get up to 32 today. We'll see. I'll be making myself some chicken soup for dinner. mckitterick is not a huge fan of sloshy soups (they need to be more stew-like), but he is most likely going out for dinner this evening so I'm looking forward to making a nice, basic soup with lots of onions. LOTS. Man. Now I'm really looking forward to dinner and not just because dinner means I won't be at my desk anymore.

Right after I post this, I'm going to do a quick search for a yoga flows or series designed for Restorative Time When Your Uterus is Trying to Exit Your Body. I'm not willing to put my Five Days of Movement on hold just because I'm bleeding and cramping to the point where I want to curl up and die. If I find a series of poses that works particularly well for me, I'll post about it.

I am not going to lie, this Tumblr post from the folks at Archie McPhee almost made me weep. Y'all who can eat pizza need to make one of these and eat it while thinking of me. Someday. Okay? SOMEONE. PLEASE.

Today's Tumblr is Tuesday, December 30: Maps.

I'm scheduled to appear in Prof. Marta Vicente's class WGSS/HIST 324 "History of Women and the Body" this December. She asked me to speak to the class about attitudes toward women's bodies in bellydancing and then to give a short demo. We'll talk beforehand about what she's expecting as far as performance (I'm not changing into full makeup and bedlah for a volunteer five-minute gig) and what sort of things she'd like me to address (so I can be prepared for questions).

My preparations to resume home yoga practice were given a boost by this timely article on the Whole30 blog. Breaking Muscle had a well-timed and no-nonsense article on injury and healing, too. I need to get back in the game, even if it's a different game than I was playing a couple months ago.

Today's Tumblr collection is Tuesday, August 19: Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Do you think it's super important to eat first thing in the morning? Or after a workout? Are you in the camp that thinks it's better to fast for a certain period of time? How about eating your carbs before noon? Or are you a carb backloading fan? Do you think eating several small meals a day keeps your metabolism up? Or do you think remaining in a constantly-fed state messes up your insulin resistance? Here's a nice article on how none of that is true and all of that is true. Surprise, surprise, these things are all dependent on the individual! So stop listening to the eighty zillion theories and studies out there and start paying attention to what your body wants and needs. Unless it wants doughnuts and pizza all the time, in which case you might want to moderate that shit. Or not! Your life, your choices!

Make your own cold gel packs. Awesome. Hopefully I won't need an ice pack anytime soon because I'm getting even more serious about mobility during my 300 Swings challenge. I'm rolling out for an hour at least twice a week, and I try to roll out at least my quads and glutes every day. Of course, Breaking Muscle came through with an article about yoga poses for posterior chain mobility. Yay!

I've eliminated the vast majority of packaged foods from my diet, but there are still a few things I buy that aren't from the perimeter of the grocery store. I avoid eating a lot of canned foods because BPA and estrogen. BPA exits the body pretty quickly, so I'm not too stressed about the couple times a month I eat tuna or canned olives. But I use coconut milk pretty regularly (several times a week) and I'm wondering if I would benefit from buying it in aseptic packaging. It's just so expensive. And also, from Amazon. *sigh* I dunno. Anyone have thoughts on how dangerous is BPA? Melissa Joulwan posted an NPR story on her blog about how BPA might not be that bad and I was like "what do you think about this?" and she replied "I really don’t know. I mean, at some point, I feel like I have to stop over-thinking and just eat, you know what I mean?" I know, Melissa. I know. But every little bit helps, right? Just...twice as expensive as the canned coconut milk I buy from the mom-and-pop Asian grocery four blocks from my house. You know? BLARGH. Frustrating.

My god, when did this journal become a health and fitness blog? I really need to post about something like FASHION or FANDOM or just...ANYTHING else, really. Sheesh.

Today's Tumblr collection is Tuesday, February 18: Tattoos.

I'll be trying this exercise to loosen up hamstrings and quads at the same time. I need to get some more and better yoga blocks, though, 'cos the ones I have kind of suck.

Hey, if you have a Capitol One credit card, you might think about canceling it. Unless you especially like unannounced visitors to your house.

This looks pretty fucking amazing.


I've decided I have very little to say about about Coriolanus beyond HOMFG SEE IT IF YOU CAN. Tom Hiddleston is, of course, amazing, but the woman who plays his mother Volumnia (Deborah Findlay), is good past language. Just HOLY SHIT INCREDIBLE. I'll be honest, I was occasionally distracted by Hiddleston's hotness and occasionally caught myself thinking "wait, what?" Especially when he did things like stand straddling two chairs. Or walk around in a translucent robe. Or sit with his legs spread and crotch pointed at the camera. Or appear covered in blood and wearing jeans that were designed by divine inspiration. There were only two weak spots: Coriolanus's son and wife. The son--well, kid actors are always hit and miss, especially in theater. The wife, though. I mean, the part of Virgilia doesn't give an actor much to work with. She mostly sits (or stands) around and cries. She has some pretty good lines at the very beginning and the actress makes the most of them. I don't understand why they didn't cast someone who could cry on cue, though. She makes a fine ugly-cry face, but tears would've been really helpful. Also, how in the world they managed to cast someone who had no chemistry with Tom Hiddleston is beyond me. She had some fierce competition because the chemistry between Coriolanus and his mother is amazing (seriously, I completely believe that this man is 99% the result of his being raised by this woman). But come on.

So yeah, those were my only quibbles. I loved the costuming (I'm going to do my damnedest to make his first-act costume, including the armor--wish me luck), I loved the sets, I loved the direction. I loved it. A lot.

I'm thinking about participating in the Due South Seekrit Santa project this year.

The logistics of doing my weight training in the morning at Robinson were too daunting. So I'll just go there right after work and then walk home. We'll see how that works. I still got up early this morning and did yoga, though.

Today's Tumblr collection is Tuesday, September 20: Bats.

My LJ is boring today. LJ is getting even less populated, and that's not helping. Makes me sad.

I am so bored of posting about my health. Bored, bored, bored!



But...tracking is important. *sigh*

Friday's appointment with Dr. Khosh was disappointing. My thyroid numbers are steady (albeit super low), but my antibody count is worse (higher by nearly 50 points after four months of steadily dropping about 20 points per month). And of course the FDA has imposed new restrictions on some of the supplements Dr. Khosh supplies and the thyroid enzymes I've been taking since March (with some small success) are no longer available. So now I'm taking these drops twice a day which taste horrible and are a pain in the ass. Oh, and it's a homeopathic solution, which I think is 100% complete and utter crap. So I don't have high hopes for this treatment. Unfortunately, due to the new restrictions that's the only thyroid "treatment" he had at the moment until the new stuff arrives, so...Blah. At least it wasn't horribly expensive, and I went a month with no thyroid medication before. Taking it for a month won't kill me, anyway.

He didn't think a rotational diet would help my swelling issues. Apparently that technique is most effective with people who are eating diets that include grains and legumes. He said with my current diet the best I could try is switching out types of meats--eating only chicken one day, only beef the next, then pork, etc.--and that rotating vegetables wouldn't do much of anything since I wasn't eating the possibly-conflicting foods with them. The idea of eating one type of meat at every meal every three or four days seems a little ridiculous and wildly unappealing, so that possibility's been nixed, too. He made me another tincture to try. The last one I took between meals as a diuretic to attempt to flush my lymph system. Didn't do anything as far as I could tell. This time I have a tincture to take with meals that acts as a digestive. Of course I forgot to bring it with me to work today, but I didn't notice any difference taking it this weekend. He says if that doesn't help with the swelling problems he's going to start treating me as a leaky gut patient even though I don't actually have Leaky Gut Syndrome.

I feel like I'm not even two-steps-forward-one-step-backing at this point. I'm just sort of ineffectually hopping in place. At least my energy levels are better than they were last year.

So now let's go to something more upbeat, if not much more interesting: Sunday's session with Andrew. Holy crap HARD. My glutes are crazy sore today like whoa (as are my delts, lats, and rhomboids, but it's my glutes that are killing me). I don't remember how many weighted squats, dumbbell cleans, and weighted overhead lunges I did. I'll have to figure it all up when I do the workout again tomorrow, but for now I'll just say it was a lot. Some days I get home from a training session feeling like "wow that wasn't too bad." Yesterday was not one of those days. I was pretty wiped out for the rest of Sunday, and I ain't feeling exactly chipper this morning.

Small progress, though! I was able to grab the rope, pull my knees up to ninety degrees, and hold it for ten seconds. That's twice as long as I could do it the first time. I might be able to climb that rope (using my feet to help boost me up) by the end of the year. That's pretty exciting.

A thunderstorm woke me early, so I got up for yoga despite being a little tired. I skipped yoga all last week because cramps, and hoo boy could I tell. Sooo stiff. My right side (still a bit wonky from that fall way back in...April?) was still painfully tight in Triangle Pose. Ouch. I'm not sure if I need to see a professional to ask about how to loosen that up again. It's just taking so long to stop being painful. I'm fine with having to work to redevelop my range of motion, but the actual pain is worrisome.

GOD. Okay, so enough of that. Jesus, if I'm this bored of my health issues, I can't understand why anyone's still reading this journal. I mean...Christ. So, fun stuff now!

Saturday morning I drove to a little stop-sign burg called Winchester (awww yeah) to pick up my portion of the 4H hog I bought with renniemom. The drive out was pleasant and I followed a big dually most of the way there. On the way home though, there was nobody in front of me, I had an understanding of the road, and I fucking tore through that countryside with the radio on super loud. The highway was narrow and not terribly smooth, so the whole time the steering wheel was wiggling slightly and there were a few twists and turns, but mostly lots of small hills that were just steep enough that I couldn't always see over until I crested and at one point on a straightaway I looked down and I was going a hair over eighty miles an hour in a fifty-five zone and FUCK YES that was a good time coming home.

It's been a long time since I was able to open it up without worrying about speed traps or douchebag drivers.

Very briefly because s-w-a-m-p-e-d, but important to remember:

1. Blood draw this morning was painful. I've never had a simple draw hurt as much as a blood donation needle. Phlebotomist was just fine--I've had her before, so this wasn't ineptitude. I think the vein in my left arm is just tired from years of regular donations. Must remember to switch to the right arm next time. Which sucks because my right arm's vein is really shitty. Small and deep.

2. I'm spotting again. Bright red, and not just a little bit. GOD DAMN IT, HORMONES WHAT THE FUCK. Something else to mention to Dr. Khosh on Friday.

3. Yoga this morning was rough. The very top of my right hamstring, where it meets the glutes, is super tight and unstable. Parsvottanasana on the right (which is usually my more flexible side) was especially difficult. I couldn't get much beyond 90 degrees and usually I can touch my forehead to my knee. Apparently I pulled those muscles worse than I thought when I fell.

Luckily, my knee is doing great. That's the only good news I've got today.

BOOM.

Amanda Marcotte takes Jack Engelhard to task* for his jaw-droppingly offensive article about Obama's inappropriate comments about Kamala Harris and his apology for making them. Well done, madam. Well done.

* Read the comments on that first link.

In less fist-bumpy news, my tiredness level yesterday (poor night's sleep thanks to thunderstorms and I didn't get an afternoon nap) did a number on my swelling issues. I know that stress (physical or mental) causes more dramatic post-meal swelling, and my goodness yesterday's exhibition was pretty impressive. I wasn't exactly comfy most of the day, but by the time I finished dinner, my jeans were absolutely painful. When I removed them, my belly spread out to the point where it stood farther away from my body than my breasts. My whole abdomen was tight and hard to the touch. Didn't feel so good from the inside, either. I'm still swollen today, even after a good night's sleep. I'm wearing one of my larger-sized skirts, and it's already digging into my waist post-breakfast. *le sigh*

Thanks to Various Things, I haven't attended any restorative yoga this week, either. I wonder if those are helping with the cortisol levels more than I realized.

In any case, good thing it's an acupuncture night!